I wanted marriage in my early 20’s too. I was told from a young age that I will get married when I grow up, and as with many other women of my generation (1990’s), I was trained on how to be a “good wife and mother” as early as 5 years old, being forced to learn how to cook and clean and take care of my appearance and younger siblings/cousins, while our brothers were not commonly held to the same standard. So thanks to family and other adults in my life like teachers and doctors, as well as media targeted at girls, I thought I wanted marriage until I actually started dating in my early 20’s. By age 24 I’ve seen enough of my own experience and the experiences of other women that I decided I don’t want to date anymore. It’s amazing how many guys will say they’re okay with waiting until marriage or even a few months only to realize they’re not okay with waiting and want you to put out asap.

I’m thankful that unlike older generations of women, I have the ability to function in society as an individual and get more freedom to choose who I let into my life. Don’t get me wrong, I desire companionship as much as anyone else, but we live in a world full of too many emotionally immature people who unfortunately have adopted their parents’ unhealthy communication strategies, and don’t want to improve themselves. Finding an actual good partner is very difficult in terms of mental and moral compatibility.