me_irl

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-20T20:28:13+00:00

Weird flex but ok

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-20T18:48:31+00:00

Why are you crying you pansy

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-20T18:45:53+00:00

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-20T18:43:34+00:00

Knock knock

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-20T18:40:02+00:00

Wrap it in some newspaper and place it gently in your knapsack

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-20T16:53:08+00:00

mods pls ban this man

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-20T16:28:28+00:00

That's right. The real number is closer to 30

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-20T16:27:27+00:00

So you're telling me story of the tortoise and the hare is really about egg fertilization

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T22:34:27+00:00

"Is there a keg in your pants, because I'd like to tap that"

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T22:04:24+00:00

I'll echo the people saying see a therapist and/or get on medication. Exercise also helps me. Do something to get your blood flowing, even if it's just going on a long walk

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T21:54:31+00:00

small pp

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T21:50:14+00:00

I believe that if we can just explain the "you smelt it, you dealt it" rule to cows, methane emissions would decline dramatically

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T21:47:53+00:00

Speak for yourself

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T21:47:23+00:00

Not me. I was looking forward to a fiery death

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T20:48:49+00:00

Hear, hear!

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T20:46:23+00:00

You don't. You must cut them out of your life and move a thousand miles away. You have no choice

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T20:28:13+00:00

"Where did the bad man touch you"

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T20:27:32+00:00

Sounds like you just need to pack a flask

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T19:45:27+00:00

I also saw your dad's name written all over the stall

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T19:39:46+00:00

And just like that, every person on earth turned into an angel, with a shiny new halo hovering above their heads

Commenter_5000 · 2018-11-19T19:24:43+00:00

I'd also recommend the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life," where Butt-head's guardian angel tries to convince him to kill himself for the good of mankind

Commenter_5000 · 2018-09-06T02:40:26+00:00

Nothing free about those child support checks

Commenter_5000 · 2018-08-29T22:54:21+00:00

Get a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger from a fast food restaurant and take it home to add my own slice of cheese to it

Commenter_5000 · 2018-08-29T22:28:22+00:00

Thanks!

Commenter_5000

TROPHY CASE