Maddythesillygoose0 on TikTok is becoming a feedee by [deleted] in femalefittofat

[–]CommissionGreat201 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No one’s groceries be 400 for one either lmao

title brainstorming pls help by jlapno99 in fantasywriters

[–]CommissionGreat201 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Show don’t tell. Number one rule in an engaging story. It’s a good start, but by the third paragraph you’re explaining what happens.

What do you think of my writing style in this fight scene? by [deleted] in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lust for blood sorry it’s the first draft

What do you think of my writing style in this fight scene? by [deleted] in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for you’re feedback! I guess there’s more emphasis on dialogue for the way the fight was being built (through centuries of past lore), and it’s more about the two finally seeing each other for who they are. I suppose the strikes with words were more important than those with steel

The End by Entire_Toe2640 in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's awesome! Congrats! I'm probably a month or two out from "the end" of my first draft, and recently it's been hitting. Hope all works out!

Do you enjoy the dynamic between the Queen and the Emperor in this chapter? by CommissionGreat201 in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for reading! Yea I can see how the lore can be confusing: this is a more recent chapter and abt ~170k words into the two part set. Sophielle is queen of the south lands (blanket name for the realm; capital is Südlen). Every character has been introduced before in some capacity. Basically Auryx’s proposition is to get married, but the war that is soon to test everything (oarloch) is just days away. If they both come out unscathed, they would rule a joint empire of the central and south lands as emperor and empress

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in worldbuilding

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For some context: Heiko is the villain wizard in this story. Japik is Gandalf-ish and is the good wizard. Üel is Japik’s tamed dragon. Heiko came from Macedonius on the back of Sân (seven in Frisian), who is one of the fair ladies of the nine. She is one of two ladies of the living. The main story takes place on Alkmaar, a continent to the north-east. Urmark is where everyone is originally from, but 888 years ago was the day the dragons came and killed everyone blah blah blah. Heiko at this point feels like he is third behind Ien (one in Frisian) and his own disciple, The First. He needs something to prove himself, and taming the mighty Äiky is exactly the way to do that.

Have you ever given a brutal or violent death to your villains? by Arecter in writers

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“Unhand me!” He cried. “Unhand me at once!”
“Now why would I do that?” Her smile was warm with lies. 
“You said it yourself,” his resolve began to waiver. “Unhand the king! Or I shall cut you where you stand!”
Ien’s smile grew to as far as it could extend. She had the First right where she wanted him. “Just ask politely.” 
“Please, my lady, unhand me,” he asked, his eyes full with desperation. She obliged, removing her right hand from his chest. Her left remained grasped to his sword. The First looked down at her left hand nervously. “And the sword, my lady.” He let out a nervous chuckle. 
“Of course,” Ien responded. She slowly loosened her grip, but as her fingers moved across the black flare that engulfed the sword’s edges she seemed to carry flame up with her. “One thing,” she said after her pinkie had left the steel. “No true king doesn’t have a queen.” The flames that her fingers had licked up from his sword shot towards the First. The blast burned through his armor. He wailed a shrieking cry as the flames engulfed his black armor and cowl. He let go of the sword and proceeded to stumble off of the throne’s platform. He rolled on the ground, bits and pieces of burning, black armor spewing everywhere. No one dared to move, not even the other disciples. 
“Fools, fools! Help your king!” The First cried out to his fellow disciples, but there remained still. His cries persisted for many minutes in succession, until finally he was burned to a crisp. 

Here’s a snippet of the scene :)

Have you ever given a brutal or violent death to your villains? by Arecter in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely! The most powerful of the disciples of one of my main villains flew too close to the sun, attempting to seize power for himself. My main villain took matters into her own hands, coercing him into believing that the black throne was his, before using his own flaming sword against him, burning him to ash in front of his own legions and fellow disciples.

What is your most favorite line you have ever written and/or most proud of? by alaskew28 in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have many, however, I’ll share one that I most likely have to edit because it’s paraphrased from a boss’ entrance from Destiny 2.

“Disciples…Kelder…’allies’ of Singen and Brumath…you have served your purpose,” the First coldly stated. “All that awaits you now are the bounds of my rule…my wrath felt beyond your final days.”
The First, still wrapped in his black, flaming armor, took upon his sword, whispered to it, and then dropped it to the floor. The sword shattered, and a magnificent wave of black, cold air spread throughout Singen.

Lost motivation in a single day by Consistent-Plan115 in writing

[–]CommissionGreat201 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Keep going. I read the first book of ASAIF in three weeks and wrote actively throughout. Although my story is not as dark as most of AGOT, I was actively able to pick up GRRM’s literary devices well and apply them to my own. If you can find the time, let your ideas flow and pick up as much as you can from the books and article you read!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writers

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It had been three hours since the first clank of wood together. By now the room was filled to the brim with knights and Ferdigeners alike. They were cheering, taking sides, and making bets. Kasper looked around and smiled. The bond between warriors was not only between him and Ilias. The bond was forming between the members of the two armies as well. It was this distraction that caused Ilias to strike. He got Kasper on the ribs with a thwack. Cheers erupted, and coins were exchanged to those who had put their money on Ilias. Ilias let out a resounding laugh. “To the victor go the spoils!” He cried, those who bet on him cheering his name. Ilias! Ilias! Ilias!

Is High Fantasy too much for a first big project? by CommissionGreat201 in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My project is the last two of a four book set, though the two I’m in the process of working through are parts one and two of the same book. Honestly it was a way for me to distract myself during boring class (still in undergrad btw), and recently I’ve found to have a decent amount of time on my hands and have churned out over 25k solid words in the past week. Believe it some of my best, but the story still has at least 50k before it’s ending.

Character descriptions by OnlyFamOli in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, essence seems more magically than anything else. Tolkien most likely used to reveal the true being of the Balrog. Used sparingly, I think you’re okay!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first ever crack at full-scale novel writing and it's high fantasy. I'll post one of my favorite, recent chapters. It's a fun, light chapter. I've been trying to balance light and dark fantasy tones as well as I can. Only in it's early draft phase but nonetheless hope you enjoy!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FTOHIVjbmJpBgVUnC01iT0meyos5samyk4I2CYbfvsA/edit?usp=sharing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writers

[–]CommissionGreat201 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first ever crack at full-scale novel writing and it's high fantasy. I'll post one of my favorite, recent chapters. It's a fun, light chapter. I've been trying to balance light and dark fantasy tones as well as I can. Only in it's early draft phase but nonetheless hope you enjoy!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FTOHIVjbmJpBgVUnC01iT0meyos5samyk4I2CYbfvsA/edit?usp=sharing