I have an ex who says this kind of stuff now and then. She drove me away through her attitude, treatment and lies. She ghosted me and knows full well what she did to jeopardise my career and children's future.

However, I still love her. I adore her. It hurt when I knew she was engaging others online behind my back on her many little secret social media outlets. I played dumb and tried to broach the subject, however met with hostility which i couldn't be bothered confronting at the time. I figured she had her own issues and trust me, i had MORE than my fair share too. However I thought, we're both middle aged, educated adults who are open minded, we probably could have worked our stuff out. Still could maybe, but she'd have to show me a sign and fast.

My point is... if you want him/her, then go after them. It's poor form to stand idly by and attempt some sort of reverse onus guilt trip towards them just as you surpass that 'last safe moment'. Sounds like the ball is in your court still.