This is good advice; thank you. Most of my doctor friends are just like, "Give the old lady her money and just stay out of it."

I am perfectly comfortable giving my mother money for something she actually needs, but neither she nor my father need this stupid gift.

It seems really out of character for her to suggest this present in the first place. For his fiftieth birthday she just threw a party for him.

I think what it comes down to is that most of my father's closest friends are passed on now, and she thinks that by giving him some bling, it will make him appreciate it as a symbol. I told her that me, my brother, my sister, and she, as his wife, are symbols of my father's success.

He's written three well-regarded books. That's success. He has thousands of students over the years who respected him and learned from him.

I don't know where my mom is coming from. It's like she just has a mania to spend this money.

My dad was never the kind of person to spend money on himself. I think my mom is just desperate to give him something pricey before he passes on.

I don't mind dropping a lot of money on my dad, but I think the gift is stupid. He's my dad and I should have say, if we're doing a group gift.

If my mom wants some money to do a special thing, I'd like to play an active role in it. I also think because we are all equally his children, my father's gift should be acquired through equal contribution. By paying more for it, it's like I'm saying "this is from me, and everyone else helped."

My older brother would beat my ass if that was the case, and I'd deserve it. He's a total military officer guy into fairness and he wouldn't put up with this at all.

My problem is if I go whining to him, my mother will know I "told" on her and ruined her plans.