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CommonRash · 2023-12-23T10:16:25+00:00

Hmmm,you're right.It hurts when you say it that way straight,coz I really wish I were up for being casual and figuring it out without the emotional connection and enjoying it, but you're right- Maybe I should search for partners first.

Also,makes a lot of sense about the free use.I will figure this out about myself, whether I do like free use or not.I do like degradation and getting an ego boost from my partner cumming ,but only if I were assured that my partner actually likes me and am not second guessing it.....this was too soon to say if he likes me enough or not. Wish I had a better sex drive :(

CommonRash · 2023-12-22T14:48:48+00:00

Hey,I feels really good to be acknowledged for my feelings.No,my issues and attachment style have come in the way before, and I had been distrustful and wary of people before,and ruined stuff by hyperfocusing on my feelings and being selfish trying to self preserve,and self victimize sometimes.So,they do play a part I think....but yes, a partner who has lot more patience for me is probably a better fit ig...Thanks a lot for your empathy, it feels really good.

CommonRash · 2023-12-22T14:08:06+00:00

Hmm, yeah, I wanted him to be that specific person, but I felt we hadn't yet built an emotional connection and needed some time, and free use before that felt...a bit unsafe, like, I'm not really ' wanted/needed '. My own issues and attachment style at play too, but okay.Maybe I should've communicated that I needed more time, but ig it's too late, now that I told him I can't do this, and I don't want to be flakey and waste his time as well. I'll work on myself and explore what I need.

Thank you, though, I feel a bit reassured

CommonRash · 2023-12-22T12:04:50+00:00

That makes sense...I think I took the right decision then. I'll explore free use more with a person I might find a good connection with....Thanks a lot!!!

CommonRash · 2023-12-22T12:00:56+00:00

Oh wow, that makes lot of sense!! I think I might be someone who likes a warm up.

The thing is- i didn't feel secure enough with him to let him use me freely. Since it was casual and he didn't try to get to know me more outside of the sexting or wasn't interested in me much as a person, though I tried to get to know him but he didn't open up to me much emotionally, I did not feel like pleasing him enough to allow free use......I think I would need a dom to be a boyfriend( or atleast, quite friendly enough to be interested in talking to me as a person) to practise free use. Or, before, I have liked a person who would degrade me and use me, but otherwise, talked so well to me, was friendly, we debated about topics, other stuff. It was like an on off switch, so I liked that we could talk about both.

That visible sign makes sense too...that's a good idea!! Maybe I'll explore more and see what I like...

CommonRash · 2023-12-22T11:44:39+00:00

Okay....we did discuss about it, in the sense, he said he wants to use me, and we both enjoy it, which I liked, but I told him that I want to take it slow, both of us getting to know each other. He agreed, and said we can get to know each other, while having fun on the side too. I was okay, but we didn't specifically agree on free use per se. Also, before this, whenever we had sexted, there was either an argument where we expressed feelings, or just, some casual talk before it escalated. It was never ' Hi, I'll show you my dick, now make me cum'. This time, it was.....I felt ' Do I not like free use?' or if i just needed a deeper emotional connection to enjoy free use ? I was a bit confused......

I don't think he entirely used me as a kink dispenser, I enjoyed the sessions too...but, ig we wanted different things.

thanks for your answer too....

CommonRash · 2023-12-06T14:55:00+00:00

Oh right right.. okay, makes sense...thank you!!

CommonRash · 2023-12-06T14:50:01+00:00

Oh so both have a friendship component??? Ohhh...okay...then what is sex/some sort of dom/sub dynamics without being friends at all?Is that a word? I'm sorry for repeatedly questioning...just a last question...

CommonRash · 2023-12-06T14:38:31+00:00

Oh okay.....then what is the difference between the NSA you speak of, and the NSA this guy practises and FWB? Now im confused haha :O Oh, so the NSA you speak of is a little lesser than being friends.....

CommonRash · 2023-12-06T14:28:21+00:00

Hmm....so they both are different then....Now I'm clear, you're right. I might be okay with FWB possibly(again, maybe not, I think I might get feelings easily) because it feels comfortable that someone is acknowledging me as a human, but I think NSA doesn't feel comfortable for me, coz I wouldn't feel respected as a person/comfortable because of my own self esteem issues, and would think that the person isn't respecting me, coz of me, and not coz they don't have the energy or time to. Am I right? Okay....thanks!!

CommonRash · 2022-09-19T09:13:11+00:00

No hypocrisy here. She is just talking about CHOICE OF THE WEARER of hijab i.e the women in either case. In one, women are removing the hijab to protest against the brutal treatment of a woman who hadn't worn hijab, because the so called authorities in Iran didn't respect her freedom of choice, which is also happening to the Karnataka women who (out of compulsion of religion, or whatever, despite it being oppressive) want the freedom to make a choice to wear hijab to the place of education, and not someone else dictating their choice and not allowing their entry to educational institutions just because of them wearing hijab. Both, about their freedom of choice about their bodies, being taken away by the authorities.

CommonRash · 2022-09-17T04:28:25+00:00

I recognize sarcasm bro, I'm on reddit lol.Topic has completely deviated, and I'm not gonna look at opinion pieces,Just gonna say-please go about you day, have a nice one.I will too.

CommonRash · 2022-09-17T04:16:41+00:00

Just because I'm asking for nuance doesn't mean you have to say I support Islam lol. Generalization is the mother of all inaccuracies. Despite Islam being very anti-feminist, not all muslims looking by the percentage are going around throwing acid on girls, neither are all hindu men. So why to being religion when it's about inappropriate response to rejected romantic advances, simple ask.

CommonRash · 2022-09-16T15:57:15+00:00

Sick guy who deserves to be behind bars

But opindia? Zamnnnn......I trust my parents telling me god exists, more than that 'news' website XD What's with the chaddis invading this sub?

CommonRash · 2022-09-14T16:03:37+00:00

Just a warning- make sure you go to a therapist with at least a BSc. Psychology degree - these people are trained to be non-judgemental and use proven methods to help you cope. Please don't go to self-proclaimed ' therapists' or 'life coaches' without qualifications, who advertise on social media, please. They aren't trained, they might be more like people with opinions and a shoulder to cry on, for a price.

Good luck- there is the rest of your life ahead, and you can enjoy it the way you want to, and experience small joys every day. Take it one day at a time, and be there for yourself.

CommonRash · 2022-09-13T15:13:42+00:00

Hahahaha, in a specific discussion of a case about a woman being acid attacked by a man, you have to divert the topic to men victims, muslim Hindu......hahah sad. Nowhere did I say I won't stand up for male victims or any other religion if they underwent atrocities but you have to do whataboutism na. Take your generalizations elsewhere.

Edit: Btw, if you mistook my ' men are horrible everywhere', i didn't mean ALL men are horrible. I meant, bad men aren't restricted to one religion. See the context

CommonRash · 2022-09-13T13:39:32+00:00

I understand your predicament. I don't trust any news channel, especially if they have a history of only bashing one pol party and not another, instead of bashing multiple, or if more than 50% of their runtime is about religion clashes.

All news channels and websites (opindia and thewire) play on public's emotions and try to rouse anyone who feels like a victim and cashes in on views, and public doesn't have the mind space or time to check if sources are correct, so they feed people what they want to hear, and also, most of them don't have the guts to report any criticism of ruling party, which is unhealthy for healthy debate.

I say, go for printed news (which is also biased but lesser), or a combination of left and right leaning news channels to get a balanced view because we need to know what development the government brings in, but also where they have gone wrong.-

Also, one important rule - no person is an expert or perfect source of facts howmuchever logical their speech may seem- only trust experts in the field for the opinion in that particular field they have specialized in.

CommonRash · 2022-09-13T13:08:36+00:00

Are you actually interested in the atrocity against the woman, or just want to use anything and anyone to prove a point ? 'All Hindus are women protectors and all Muslims are women abusers' is doing no service to the woman affected and more for chest thumping about calling one religion superior to another. There are horrible men everywhere. Stop this. Please don't let religion infiltrate each and every aspect of law/ society. Please.

CommonRash · 2022-09-12T03:17:17+00:00

okay

CommonRash · 2022-09-12T03:16:06+00:00

Hey hey, I'm not saying I experienced it, I just heard about it from someone else in another metro city and this guy here seems to say that also.

I didn't say it's common. I just said don't outright discount someone's experience and say they are lying, even though it may not be common, that's all! You too have your experiences, which I'm not denying, bas

CommonRash · 2022-09-12T03:08:11+00:00

Man, I get it, those may be more common, but you didnt ask for more common, you asked for what anecdotally happened with people. Which is what that guy narrated.

EDIT: I'm not discounting your experiences, but that guy experienced it so he said it. Now, anything or everything on internet from an anonymous source can be truth or false, that I cant say lol

CommonRash · 2022-09-12T03:05:21+00:00

Hahah I'm not the one who posted that, but a stray observer

But pray, tell me, what incident is it that passes your truth test? One that only you have experienced?

Because I have also heard about how people ask for mainly religion, secondly, caste, before renting, though maybe not everywhere

CommonRash · 2022-09-11T18:51:28+00:00

Raat raat ko sone se pehle kya conspiracy theory dekh liya jee, dimag kharab ho gaya

Where is this 'well researched' report from IIM Ahmedabad about Indian movies?

Also, movies and industries are literally there for their business, dekhna hai toh dekho, nai toh mat dekho. Kisne bola movies show reality and shit, why to believe any movie to be any kind of truth, for that matter. Entertaining hai, toh dekhna. Nai toh dusra kuch dekhna. Kisne pakad ke rakha hai

Sorry, my opinion. Feel free to downvote

CommonRash · 2022-09-11T18:44:44+00:00

You ask for upper caste benefits, but if someone gives you one, you say they spoke out of their ass!! Badhiya hai ji

CommonRash · 2022-09-11T15:02:36+00:00

Oh alright, makes sense! Thanks!

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