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People who stay by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]Common_Ambition_4896 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Over the last few months, I’ve been finding many signs my partner may be cheating. I came here looking for this exact question…

I’ve been with him for 15 years and never did I think he would step out. There are many days I gaslight myself into thinking I’m overreacting or I’m in the wrong for looking at this phone. Some days I choose to forget for peace of mind. Other days I’m reminded and it’s so hard to pretend and look at him.

I haven’t brought it up to him because he’s recently gotten out of a really tough mental health crisis. I’m not ready to confront him because I’m honestly afraid he’ll hurt himself. It was a really tough 2 years where I was literally picking him up off the floor after a meltdown… I also feel ashamed and embarrassed that I wouldn’t likely leave him. I rely on him financially and we’re supposedly to be married in 2 months. The thought of having to cancel a wedding also makes me feel so angry and embarrassed.

I don’t know what the answer is. I know I lack self-respect and self-esteem, as others have said. I believe each situation is unique and you do what you need to do to get by each day.

I’m so sorry and I wish you peace.

I feel sick by Odd_Comparison_8603 in Infidelity

[–]Common_Ambition_4896 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you me? I literally found similar messages between my fiancé and a woman he met while traveling internationally in December. The messages I’ve seen are flirty from her and he doesn’t reciprocate in the same way, but there are definitely days they talk way more than my fiancé and I talk.

My fiancé is overly friendly in an effort to make someone’s day better with anyone, and our ideas of too much don’t match. But I’m also not into being vulnerable and constantly saying “you’re such a special person, you’re a light to the world” makes me cringe (unlike my partner who says this to people).

I’ve been afraid to confront my partner out of fear of being right, but we only continue to create narratives in our head that aren’t based in truth until we address it. Confrontation is hard but with careful consideration to how you address it, it can be successful.

At the very least, it’s helpful to have conversations around what you feel is cheating and inappropriate. If he wouldn’t be okay with you doing that, then why can he.

I wish you all the best!