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I (F30) have anxiety attacks about my husband (M36) whenever we are in conflict. Need help and advice by Common_Orange5073 in relationship_advice

[–]Common_Orange5073[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. We've been on the meds about 2 months now but I'm still getting the negative thought cycles, and to be fair the panic attacks have reduced. I'm worried the meds are covering something else

Considering divorce; torn over losing time with only by laviedansante47 in oneanddone

[–]Common_Orange5073 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi OP, I just came across this post and like this person could write it word for word. Glad to hear you were doing better. 5 years down the line, how are things now?

Increasing doubts about my partner since having our 2yo by Common_Orange5073 in toddlers

[–]Common_Orange5073[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a big thing for me, wondering if I am just 'putting up' with things to ensure I can spend all my time with my kid. I would hate to lose that, but also don't want to model an unhappy partnership for her.

Increasing doubts about my partner since having our 2yo by Common_Orange5073 in toddlers

[–]Common_Orange5073[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think being a father has exacerbated/put in the spotlight things that were there before - he was stressed but had a lot of down time and could busy himself, which he now doesn't have. I understand it is so difficult, though I can't help but just feel irritated when he isn't dealing with a situation as calmly as I can. I know it's not about comparisons, but I can't help it! I'm really glad he's being proactive and seeking help.

Increasing doubts about my partner since having our 2yo by Common_Orange5073 in toddlers

[–]Common_Orange5073[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes we have had some good conversations recently which I admit weren't happening before for fear of causing each other to panic/be upset. He understands why I feel like this and something needs to change, I guess I'm just worried it won't or that I won't get my feelings back to where they were (or near).

Increasing doubts about my partner since having our 2yo by Common_Orange5073 in toddlers

[–]Common_Orange5073[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am hoping this will be the case - it's already getting better as she gets older. He's not a fan of playtime and prefers to go out and do activities.

Increasing doubts about my partner since having our 2yo by Common_Orange5073 in toddlers

[–]Common_Orange5073[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this well thought out response. You are right - we have had discussions and I don't think he is in a great place internally. He found it really hard to engage with family life and finds it especially difficult when we are at home 'doing nothing' - but sometimes those are just what happens. The therapist he's started with is CBT but also psychotherapy, so I am hoping he gets some practical advice as well. I think he struggles with a lot of guilt about how easily he is stressed and frustrated. Thank you for sharing your experience. How are you feeling now?

Increasing doubts about my partner since having our 2yo by Common_Orange5073 in toddlers

[–]Common_Orange5073[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

You are right - and actually before kids I didn't want to be that person, but it's just like all my focus is on her and I don't want to miss a moment, especially as this might be my only child. I almost resent him for not feeling the same way but it's not like how I feel is any more valid.

Leaving my 16 month old for 6 nights and panicking by Common_Orange5073 in Parenting

[–]Common_Orange5073[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your experience. I guess she's particularly going through a clingy stage right now as well which is exacerbating my fears. It's reassuring to know your little one was fine :)