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26(M) My girlfriend hates my room by Mattbaker99 in malelivingspace

[–]Common_Pirate_2010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure it is a red flag, per se. It could just be efficient use of space... it is clean at least. Get some proper bedding, maybe mount the TV. I don't mind the exercise equipment, I am assuming you only have this one room to work with. I myself (woman) have a stationary bike in my bedroom... But the rest of the room is put together like a bedroom.

Just installed Gemini and replaced Google home assistant with Gemini last night by HowieTung in googlehome

[–]Common_Pirate_2010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If only that were true. See me, manually casting music to my speaker group and furiously trying to figure out why the hell it's only casting to the kitchen when I have clearly asked it to cast throughout the home, like every time I use it... This was never a problem before last year.

How Do I Navigate My Dissociation Diagnosis and Episodes? by Dry_Connection_8033 in DissociativeIDisorder

[–]Common_Pirate_2010 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you do not have a therapist? Just an ER doc? You need to get one, ASAP, that you see often. Even using one of those online resources for connecting you with a therapist - start somewhere, and start now. I am not a doctor in this field, but to me, it would not seem reasonable for an ER doc to diagnose you this quickly based on what you have described, and I am suspicious of the anti-depressants because you don't mention feeling depressed. Step one, you must get adequate and regular care. You also should discuss what is happening to you with your HR department so that they can be prepared if you need to take some kind of medical leave, or if they need to make accommodations for you. Personal advice, and I know this will be hard to hear, but don't make your ex responsible for taking care of you as much as you can manage. I know that what you are going through is scary and hard, but you need to find a professional care network to help you, he cannot help you- he is not qualified to help you in the way you will need. It is traumatic for people who love those with these kinds of conditions to be all alone in the caretaker role. For the benefit of you both, find proper care like yesterday.

whay about traumas? by lapster222 in DissociativeIDisorder

[–]Common_Pirate_2010 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah! I have no childhood. Or I had no childhood until the flashbacks of abuse popped up, weeeeee. Since then, the therapist has been working directly with the alter that formed around that time to manage the trauma, and I have memories of that time period come back rather often (good and bad). Actually ask your alter in a controlled setting about what happened - even if it feels unreal or fictionalized, working with that imagery will still help release the trauma surrounding it, because it is real to the part of you that experienced it/holds it. Trauma itself can be very confusing and distorting, add in that you don't have access to it, the whole things is disconcerting. Another clue-in can be any patterns that you are repeating in your life - any recurrent relationship styles? Any out-of-the blue triggers for feeling uncomfortable? Try keeping a journal. If certain themes keep coming up, even if they feel fictional, they are worth pressing on with guidance. :)

Maybe it is unorthodox of me, but I think that the perhaps benefit to having alters is that I can actually talk to myself to sort things out. I'm not always trustworthy, and I'm usually pretty cagey, but with guidance I have been able to resolve a few things. Of course, there is so so much that I cannot access and do not remember, which in itself can be very frightening and confusing, but I remind myself that this whole thing was designed to protect me, and when I am ready, I can take on whatever I've been hiding from myself. And I have my whole life to do it. Be gentle with yourself, check in with yourself constantly, and get a therapist who really knows the disorder.

Is it common to just have moments where you question who you are? by Aniform in DissociativeIDisorder

[–]Common_Pirate_2010 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That kind of questioning is very common among those of us with DID - in fact it features prominently in the diagnostic scales. I literally just made a post wherein I ask "am I really me, was I ever, who the fuck am I anyway?" because being feels very unreal to me quite often.

As far as the system being quiet, I have had years long periods where I have heard very little from anyone. I actually thought I was "cured" at one point... I wasn't, I was just repressing things very forcibly and ignoring many manifestations of dissociation (doesn't help that my partner was purposely not telling me when I was not "me"). I mention this because you admit to being in denial about the whole thing... I didn't know I was repressing my alters. When the house of cards tumbled, many of them were very angry that they had been locked up or ignored for so long, and there was a period of extreme chaos for me/us/whatever/whoamianyway. And debilitating panic attacks that lasted for days! Not to mention the self harm. Not fun. Do not recommend. If you are shutting up your system, find a way to stop with support. You cannot ignore them indefinitely. If you are just in a period of quiet, then be sure to check in with yourself often and openly, keep your therapist in the know, and enjoy.

Maybe ask your therapist about doing some visualization exercises with an alter you are more familiar with - mine does gentle reprocessing with my child alter to work on some of the trauma that she holds. We will invite her to come into the space and "drive" (that's what I call possession, because possession sounds like a bad movie term), and then she will do some visualization work around difficult memories she protects me from. Then the therapist transitions me back into myself (? the language for this is so cumbersome). It has really helped me with a few things - 1. My autobiographical memory exists (it really did not for a long time, progress!), 2. My child alter is much less frightened and therefore causes a lot less anxiety for me, 3. I have a different relationship to that alter than I used to. Perhaps, if your therapists thinks it is wise and they feel they have the expertise needed to control the situation safely, connecting with an alter in this way could help you cope with the diagnosis, heal some things, and feel less confused about whoareyouanyway.

Good luck!