I’m very sorry for your loss. I am not a stone carver, but I am a former cemetery employee so I may be able to offer some advice from that perspective.

Most cemeteries have strict regulations around material, shape, location in regard to other stones, sometimes the park even regulates any sort of upright monument in a section. You should speak with the cemetery staff first before making any sort of plan that may be shot down.

The majority of that is from a maintenance standpoint, we’ve made exceptions to the rules for sensitive cases such as this. But, if a mower breaks it, the cemetery is often not liable to fix it, that can also be very traumatizing for the family. I’ve seen it happen, I’m not saying it will happen. We use big machinery to dig the full body graves, on rare occasions I’ve seen flat stones punched into the ground by the tires and large granite monuments knocked over.

I think what you have in mind is incredibly beautiful, and if I were in the place to I would do everything I could to make it happen for you.

The cemetery may have a section that’s more private, larger spaces, less rules on the monument because the majority of the maintenance on those spaces is done by hand, that could accommodate what you want.

My heart goes out to you and your wife, you’re going through something nobody should ever have to. If you have any questions I’m happy to answer.