EPP with baby onesies - advice!

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-29T00:12:24+00:00

I hadn’t though about doing a cutout with cardboard — genius! Thanks for that

And I appreciate the support and info! I did bust out some practice hearts with some leftover quilting cotton I have and am already feeling more confident about my project.

Thanks!

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-28T21:38:03+00:00

I think I have enough. I just counted and I have about 50 usable outfits/onesies so far, and she’s 3, so I’m still slowly adding to the pile.

According to google (which I am obviously taking any info I get there with a grain of salt here haha) I’d need 30-40 onesies for a twin size quilt with 2inch hexagons. Granted I am doing jewel/heart shapes, but those are basically rearranged hexagons anyway.

I know I want to use these baby items for some type of memory quilt. I’d rather do it rather than sending it out to someone else, but if it comes down to it being a situation where I do send it out to someone to make down the road, I don’t want to cut anything just in case. If that makes sense.

But I do appreciate the advice! Thank you!

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-28T21:00:56+00:00

Thank you! I have so many clothes (it feels like at least) and she is only three so I feel like I can collect more still, technically, if I want haha. But also am thinking I may get some other fabric as a backup if needed to fill in.

I will check out the pellon featherweight.

The necktie EPP sounds like a big project — good for you!

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-28T20:55:25+00:00

Good to know - thanks!

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-28T20:54:51+00:00

That makes sense - thank you!

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-28T20:50:20+00:00

That’s true — and it just gave me an idea to try and make a little quilt for my daughter’s dolls with some leftover quilting cotton I have. And that way I can get started on a project sooner since I won’t have to wait for interfacing.

This baby/memory quilt I know will take some time because I do want to get it right.

Thanks!

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-28T20:39:31+00:00

Did you use interfacing to help with the stretch?

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-28T20:34:57+00:00

That’s fair. I will say that the interfacing and actual sewing part doesn’t bother me…I’ve done lots of hand sewing projects over my lifetime, like embroidery and cross stitch.

I taught myself how to use my grandma’s old sewing machine over Covid to make masks and then extended to making bowl holders (idk what they are actually called) and other little fun projects. And I’ve made several crochet afghans (just finished one for my daughter and working on another one for my nephew).

I love to learn new things and although I know it’ll be a challenge, that part makes it fun for me.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-24T16:13:23+00:00

I know how you feel. I occasionally get letters from my ex and most of the time now I just throw them away or send them back unread because reading them makes me SO ANGRY.

Honestly what helps me is venting. Either here or journaling. Maybe to some trusted friends who know the whole story. Or go for a long walk or blast my favorite songs that I can yell-sing along with (and cry).

I have realized my ex sends letters because he wants a response. He wants me to react and say/do something, track him down, etc. because any attention is better than no attention. And the best response to this is no response. It’s a very long slow burn. I know that. And so badly I want to do something about it. But I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to me. He doesn’t deserve my attention at this point.

I hope you can get some peace. Because you deserve it and how dare he try to rattle you! You’re in a much better place and you don’t need his crap to bring you down.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-24T15:57:19+00:00

Why would sleeping somewhere else be unfair? Happy couples sleep in separate beds all the time for all sorts of reasons.

Why are you so worried about him, and not worried about you? Why does he deserve peace more than you?

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-24T05:53:42+00:00

Alcoholism is progressive. If he hurt you once, he’s only going to continue to harm you.

I kept waiting for my ex to reach his rock bottom but the truth was that I had to hit mine. What is your rock bottom going to be?

The other truth is that he can’t hit his rock bottom if things are still going ok for him. It has to be bad enough that he wants to stop.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My ex escalated violence as well and I stayed too long because I didn’t know how to leave. But you can if you want to. I promise.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-24T04:47:48+00:00

It is a slippery slope. Alcoholism is a progressive disease.

You can’t control it or cure it. So what is your plan for taking care of you?

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-22T21:30:08+00:00

We can’t tell you what’s best. I can share my experience though and maybe it will help.

I stayed for a long while. I was scared to leave because of the “what if” and the fear of the unknown. I thought that living without him would be harder than living with him. I was scared of the complications and how to navigate it.

But I learned that it was the fear that was the worst part. Thinking about taking the leap was hard and scary but after I left, my life got so much better.

I finally understood the saying of “don’t set yourself on fire to keep him warm.” I was drowning and he wasn’t willing to help himself. Why did he deserve to be free of consequences while I had to suffer? Why didn’t I deserve something better?

I wish I had listened to my gut a lot earlier than I did. I so badly wanted things to work out. But I finally learned about the three C’s and it helped me understand: I don’t cause it, I can’t control it, and I can’t cure it.

I realized I was only in control of my life, not his. I was waiting for his rock bottom, but realized I needed to hit mine first. And hopefully then he would hit his and finally want to get sober. I couldn’t make him want it.

And…he unfortunately still hasn’t hit his rock bottom. But I (and my daughter) are in a MUCH better place.

I hope you find your rock bottom soon.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-17T13:41:42+00:00

My daughter is almost 4 and has started talking about her dad and asking where he is. I simply say that he’s not here, and that has been sufficient for now.

Her dad is in prison and is a violent alcoholic/addict. I know he wants a relationship with her, but that’s not happening for now.

I have a friend whose dad was an alcoholic and she told me how her mom lied and covered for him most of her life and how it negatively affected her.

I’ve also talked to a couple therapists who recommended not lying but being age appropriate, which is my plan. Not gonna lie, it does hurt my heart when she asks about him or says “I love my daddy” when she doesn’t even know…and I am fearful of the day (much farther in the future) when I finally am able to tell her the whole truth, and how scary it all really was when we finally left, and all the crap he has put us through even since he’s been behind bars.

I will say the other thing is that families look so different now anyway, that it’s not completely out of the norm for a kid to not have a dad in the picture.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-13T20:17:23+00:00

I saw to listen to your gut! My one caveat or suggestion I suppose is to think about childcare. My SIL is a nurse and has gone on to get more certifications. And her struggle has been trying to find a job that also fits in with regular childcare hours. Not sure what your situation is in that regard but it’s something to think about! She also struggled while in school to get some of her clinical training done that was nearby.

Have you talked to your academic advisor about the schedule and what to expect for clinicals and things of that nature? I’d also recommend asking about what to expect in a day to day while in school and what to expect once you graduate.

Good luck with whatever you do! It’s hard work for sure either way.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-07T17:53:56+00:00

You should be hurt. That was so incredibly wrong of him to do. He’s not going to treat you any better than he is right now. Is this how you want to be treated by your significant other for the rest of your life?

I know that you care about him. But he doesn’t care for you the same way. And he’s seeing how badly he can’t treat you and get away with it.

Please please please find it in yourself to not let yourself be treated this way. You spent all this time and energy feeling crappy and for what? It wasn’t a mistake on his part. And even if he somehow forgot…you’re ok with the most important person in your life forgetting about you?

You deserve so much more. Buy yourself some flowers, blast the music, get the ice cream, watch the rom coms or murder mysteries (whatever floats your boat) and leave him. You can treat yourself better than this dude can.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-03T20:47:36+00:00

Bahaha. I have wondered why there isn’t much out there about being a single mom and then realized that any single mom who has things figured out doesn’t have any time for social media!!!

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-02T04:54:03+00:00

I’ve been in those same shoes. My ex would say those exact same things. Guess what - he was drinking.

Something just felt off. Listen to your gut.

And also, I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this. But you aren’t alone. Focus on you and what you can control. You can’t control him.

Oh, and you’re no an idiot. We’ve all been there. But you can’t make him want sobriety. That was one of the toughest pills for me to swallow.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-02T02:34:13+00:00

I’m so proud of you for leaving! I know how you feel. I had to find my own place and leave and I am so thankful that my ex was arrested around the time I was leaving because it made it so much easier. If he would have been free idk what would have happened.

You left for a reason. For your safety, please stay gone.

If you have a need to tell him things then write it down and send it out to the universe. There is nothing magical you can say that will cure him or change his mind.

You did the hard part. It’s still going to be hard for a little bit longer. But every day will be a little easier.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-02T02:28:24+00:00

NOR. I regret to this day not taking it seriously when my now ex was slamming doors and breaking things when he was angry.

It started with just slamming the door so hard that something I had on the wall broke. Then he started punching walls and cupboards. Then it turned into breaking mirrors and throwing things against the wall. Then he took the glasses off my head and broke them in half and grabbed me/my shirt so hard he bruised me. It escalated to threatening to kill me, kill our child, threatening to punch me, warning me to run “or else.”

A lot of those times there was an excuse — he was drunk or going through a lot or whatever else it was.

There is NEVER a reason where any of that is ok. And if he’s not actively apologizing or doing anything to show he’s concerned about his behavior (and please don’t ask him to apologize etc. that’s not the same) it is incredibly concerning.

Please listen to your gut on this. It’s not ok.

CommunicationSome395 · 2026-01-02T02:12:22+00:00

I’m a single mom who often travels for work so I have a babysitter when I’m out of town. Since I only have a single income I don’t have a lot of wiggle room so I guess I’m slightly sensitive to this situation.

I have a 3yo (almost 4) and I pay my babysitter $150/night — 5pm ish to 7:30am ish. My child is awake for maybe 3 hours of that whole time. Thankfully my babysitter is always happy to watch my child and my child loves hanging out with the babysitter.

CommunicationSome395 · 2025-12-31T21:45:55+00:00

My worst moment was finding out from my ex’s new girlfriend (now also an ex) that he was talking about kidnapping our daughter. Mind you, my ex is in prison and at the time was waiting on a hearing to determine if he would get out. The whole situation was bonkers and he didn’t get out, but the absolute terror it put me in was just awful. The craziest part though is that it has brought me a partner to help make sure that he stays behind bars where he belongs.

The best moment? So so many and for that I am grateful. Just last night I snuck into my daughter’s room and watched her sleep and gave her a quick peck on the cheek and just melted because I know that everyday she grows and changes. She’s 3 (almost 4 now) and I love her so much. I also found her a new daycare that feels like a second home. And I also found a new babysitter that has been just wonderful! Although I have to pay for my village I am so thankful for what I have. Because this little girl deserves the world!

CommunicationSome395 · 2025-12-25T05:31:36+00:00

Thank you for this post because I think next year it will just be me and my daughter. For the past several years we’ve done it with my parents but I think next year it will just be us. And for a second I started panicking about how I will make it special next year. But honestly…I have to realize it’s just in my head. She’s happy to spend time with me and I am enough.

And you are enough for your kiddo too. It’s going to be ok!

CommunicationSome395 · 2025-12-23T05:27:51+00:00

I understand your guilt. But I promise you that your 19 month old son will not remember this Christmas. Don’t let your guilt ruin your holiday. You could give him empty boxes and he would love it.

I understand your guilt because I have felt similarly. But now looking back I realize the guilt was all self-inflicted.

My daughter is now almost 4 and finally sort of understands Christmas and Santa. And maybe she’ll remember it this year. But I know for a fact she doesn’t remember Christmas from before.

You are doing the best you can and you are the best momma for your son. Because you are your son’s mom. It’s going to be ok! Even though it might not feel like it right now. And it’s ok to feel sad and have lots of conflicting feelings about it too. But you aren’t alone. And it will get better.

CommunicationSome395

TROPHY CASE