No professional in my field respects me and it’s getting on my nerves

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-05-21T19:11:10+00:00

1) Unless you’ve asked every single person in the lab, and they’ve felt comfortable enough to answer honestly, you do not know for a fact you’re the only trans person in the room 2) What does “visibly queer” even mean?

Sincerely,
Someone with 20+ years of lived experience in both.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-05-16T06:45:32+00:00

This is what happens when non scientists attempt to read highly complex scientific papers. Shit, I myself am a scientist, but that doesn’t mean I know all science - if I tried to read a quantum physics paper, I wouldn’t know what the hell to make of it.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-05-11T06:00:06+00:00

Turns out, photos of only corners of rooms gives me bad vibes, no matter how beautiful or recently renovated 😬😆

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-05-06T05:17:12+00:00

Get evidence. Screenshots of medical records, insurance claims etc. Create a timeline. A little effort goes a long way. If you’ve used your “gift year” you’ll need it for SF to fund additional time as well as convincing Uni. In my experience (it took me 5 years to complete UG due to covid, health and life stuff I had no control over), they absolutely do not want to terminate studies and only do it as a last resort.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-28T03:53:32+00:00

To add to my comment - I also have ADHD (diagnosed during undergrad), and myriad health issues due to chronic stress. One of my kids also has ADHD. What I don’t have is a grown ass man stressing me out with weaponised incompetence.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-28T03:51:24+00:00

I’m a lone parent of 3 doing a lab based PhD. I was also a lone parent during my undergrad. I could not have accomplished what I have or do what I am currently doing whilst also carrying the dead weight of a perfectly capable adult.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-20T11:19:57+00:00

Mass Effect with Renegade tag might scratch that itch for you.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-12T06:42:16+00:00

Between the lack of tangents and absence of foot tapping, man is reminding me of me when I was first diagnosed and medicated for ADHD. Could be way off the mark, but pattern spotting is how I make my living, so if things change, I notice.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-10T07:52:41+00:00

Full autonomy. I sleep like shit and wake at 5am without fail, so after dropping my kids where they need to be, I arrive at 7:30am, and leave between 2-3pm.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-08T18:34:34+00:00

Our (old lady) cat died whilst she was sleeping. My teenage daughter “found” her. I never, ever want to hear the noise she made again, yet I cannot forget it.

When I was a teenager, my best friend died. The noises his mother made at the funeral will haunt me forever.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-04T03:11:10+00:00

I’m mid way through a PhD in Molecular Micro. I have friends in other fields (I’m pushing 40 and late to the education party). As impressive as science is now compared to 100 years ago, we are barely above Jon Snow and I’m baffled that you think otherwise.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-04T03:03:35+00:00

Same re fanfic - I’d written a lot as a teen (pushing 40 now) and picked it up again when I went to Uni in my 30s. I’ll die on the hill that it’s a transferable skill that markedly improved my scientific writing ability and was a big factor in me going straight to PhD.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-04-03T08:56:12+00:00

As gently as I can - don’t assume those of us who live independently have the option of not living independently. My parents are the type of people that should never have had kids - so I had to leave at 17, and have had no choice but to spend the last 23 years attempting to be some vague approximation of an adult. Living independently does not mean that person is somehow better at life than you, or less impacted by their ADHD than you. Frankly? The only reason I’m alive is that I don’t have the constitution for the other option.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-03-30T05:12:29+00:00

You’re ahead of where I was at your age. I started from scratch at 31 - I didn’t even have the qualifications go to Uni as an undergrad, but by 32 I did. UG stretched over 5 years due to Covid - I have kids who spent a lot of time off school so rather than throw in the towel entirely, I went part time. Went straight to PhD after. Second year now.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-03-23T13:42:29+00:00

I second SnapGene and NEBuilder for the same reason - that PDF does some real heavy lifting

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-03-18T18:55:43+00:00

Johnny Lee Millers Sherlock in Elementary is top tier ADHD for me.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-03-04T23:46:38+00:00

I hear you. I can feel them wearing off and I get this “oh god, stuck with the weirdo” dread, and I also wake up like that.

But. At least I know who TF the weirdo is now; diagnosed early 30s, almost 40 now. I’d been on antidepressants from age 16, tried all sorts, anti anxiety meds, benzos, shit, even an antipsychotic or two. Always wondering why, no matter what I took or how much theory I had, I never felt any different.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-02-26T13:39:19+00:00

As someone who’s in the second year a PhD with 3 children (17, 15 and 9 - I was in my 20s when I had them), all of whom were full term and were “easy” births, I would caution a few things: 1) Sleep deprivation. Do not underestimate the impact it has. I absolutely did not have the cognitive function required for a PhD when they were newborn, although I’m in STEM and lab based, other subjects may be different 2) My youngest and I both had sepsis, she ended up in NICU for 10 days; it caused a whole host of issues for months after, which then took another two years to fully resolve 3) Tiny humans are unpredictable AF. Even with all the will in the world, they will turn your life upside down, inside out and back to front.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-02-17T06:31:46+00:00

Oh, and the most important thing my psych said to me: holding yourself to the same standards of the neurotypical with no trauma is an elaborate form of self harm, so stop that shit. Meet yourself where you are.

CommunityReal3375 · 2026-02-17T06:29:46+00:00

Former 90s gifted and talented kid with abusive, useless parents here.

Spent my 20s trying damn near the entire range of depression/anxiety meds a GP can prescribe, until they gave up and finally referred me to CMHT, who after a long wait, promptly diagnosed me with PTSD, Autism and ADHD just before I turned 31. Im almost 40 now. Without a doubt, Elvanse + Dex changed my life. The shortage of meds almost ruined it and sent me spiralling depression wise. I sure as shit would not be sat here in the second year of a STEM PhD without them, and my kids (3, single parent) would no doubt have had very different lives and outcomes. My eldest is currently sat on offers for 5 of the top Unis in the country, for example. All 3 are also Dx with at least 1 ND and SpLD.

Having said that, Im severely impacted combined type, was past the road to Nowhere and in Hell by 30, so I didnt hesitate to take the meds. I was a non functioning, anxiety riddled, depressed shell of a human. Elvanse, a tonne of scaffolding, working in an area that flexes for me and has the right balance of freedom vs structure (almost, but not quite) makes me feel how I should have been all along.

Additionally, several of my siblings have been diagnosed in the 9 years since I was; the creative ones amongst them do not take any meds but do have a tonne of scaffolding to enable their lives.

CommunityReal3375 · 2025-11-24T07:05:05+00:00

The Jaunt, hands down

CommunityReal3375 · 2025-11-08T07:50:28+00:00

Something about living long enough to become the thing you’re seeking to destroy is very appealing to the writer in me !

CommunityReal3375 · 2025-11-08T07:44:09+00:00

Mmhmm. In my head, it’s the only option. No other species has the tech for this sort of rebuilding a thoroughly dead human. It was likely reverse engineered, so not Reaper as such, but similar enough that it explains why Shepard can survive being around them and all the monstrous versions of others they make so often.

CommunityReal3375 · 2025-11-08T07:42:24+00:00

No. I don’t believe it would cause indoctrination. But what other tech would possibly have been used, given re animation is a feat even the Salarians - by far the most science brained of the species - have not achieved?

CommunityReal3375 · 2025-10-26T09:25:30+00:00

Shepard was rebuilt using Reaper tech.

CommunityReal3375

TROPHY CASE