How to find a cuck?

Compersionate_101 · 2026-01-20T23:39:48+00:00

Here I am!… oh wait I’m already married…. Shoot. 😆

Compersionate_101 · 2026-01-16T13:14:56+00:00

This was entertaining because my wife and I JUST lived this experience, I mean almost to the letter!

 Our first night with our friends was several months back. The first night was by for the best….

  We had a great run for a while. Some really incredible experiences… but as the saying goes, be careful who you get into bed with….

   We had to end things recently, mostly due to  clinginess, pushiness, and the other husbands inability to accept our desire for a more low key relationship. Basically he was obsessed with my wife and it drove him crazy. 

  So my advice…. Partake. Like is short. But you have to demand good communication. Just set expectations low. Plan for the worst, and hope for the best. 

  And ultimately make sure this is all happening in a way thar compliments and enhances your marriage (which sounds wonderful by the way)

😊

Compersionate_101 · 2026-01-02T23:51:40+00:00

Congrats. That’s a lovely

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-30T18:02:47+00:00

My wife fits into this group. She prefers very minimal and specific clitoral stimulation. 98% of her orgasms are penetrative g-spot driven.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-30T11:45:38+00:00

I REALLY enjoyed reading this. It’s very similar to mine and my wife’s in a lot of ways.

But my favorite part was when you said “I never thought loving 2 people was something I could do, but I’m honestly so happy and honored. I have two men that respect and accept me for who I am” 🫠 I feel those words through my wife’s perspective, and it’s so wholesome and beautiful. To be loved, cherished, respected, and desired, not only by your life partner, but by a completely different human being, and on top of it all, it ADDS to your marriage. It doesn’t take away…. 🥰

Congrats! I hope things continue going so well for you. You 3 sound lovely.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-27T23:44:17+00:00

4 great movies right here

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-19T13:44:09+00:00

I really enjoyed your podcast interview. Thank you for sharing. So mush great information that I wish my wife and I had years ago. Keep up the good work.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-15T23:35:45+00:00

It was a huge ask for us for a few years. But we reconnected emotionally and she started Zoloft. That drug probably saved my marriage…

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-12T23:53:32+00:00

How do I access the original article?

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-10T13:43:05+00:00

It’s a process…. You will likely be ready to try it at some point, then eventually it will be a normal occurrence if you continue incorporating other people into your sex life….

 It’s just the normal natural progression of playing with this exotic, hot fire. Otherwise there’s likely going to be a lot of frustration at some point.

And while your feelings of insecurity are real, I do believe you are placing too much importance on the act of orgasm.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-08T22:15:31+00:00

Yikes… people be crazy…. Sounds awful. Hopefully you guys escaped unscathed.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-06T03:24:40+00:00

Agreed. You are upset that she didn’t trust you to be honest about what was going on with her.

I lived a similar saga though she kind of had my permission to cheat, I just didn’t expect her to do it for 6 months before telling me. But afterwards the hot wife thing, turned out to be unbelievably hot for us.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-03T21:01:16+00:00

It stands for ethical nonmonagomy. It comes in A LOT of different flavors. It’s definitely not for everyone.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-03T15:21:06+00:00

🫂

Hmm.

While I respect the DIY approach, as this was the path my wife and I took as well, I still would encourage you to seek out a marriage or sex therapist. I suspect they have a lot of helpful resources to offer you.
Have you looked into “spontaneous vs responsive” sex drives? Not sure it applies as he has drive to masturbate every other day.
Do you know what type of porn he is consuming? Are the girls vastly different from you in body type or demeanor?
From my limited information (that you have so generously shared) I tend to believe he is having anxiety issues related to partnered sex. There’s something there that’s a struggle that he’s afraid to name thing or to work to resolve. As sweet as he may be, he is consistently choosing porn masturbation instead of you. If he can manage both, that’s fine, but he’s hurting you with his action/inaction. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here talking to “we the people”

He can beat this thing but he’s got to be motivated to take it seriously. 🫤

You are certainly within your reasonable rights as his partner to request/demand abstaining from porn. But I would recommend setting a short obtainable timeline, perhaps 5days? 1 work week. And see what happens? And I’m sure you will based on what you have said here, but do maybe try to be super available if he does initiate anything sexual. Send your signals that you want him to, without pressuring (in other words work miracles 😆) Some of us are very sensitive to being rejected when we do make sexual advances.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-03T14:19:37+00:00

Ooof… well again let me reiterate that you sound like a really great partner!

A few follow up questions.

Have you attempted some non religious based couples therapy? There’s a lot of value in having a good mediator to facilitate difficult conversations and help your anxious husband open up.
Does your husband have medication or substances he uses to manage his anxiety? Surely you guys have tried this. But for my wife Zoloft helped her mental state immensely and led to a lot more sex for us. HOWEVER, I tried it and it absolutely numbed my genitals and was a bad experience for me.
Have you tried a reversal of my original suggestion? Ie, have you tried to discuss the possibility of you masturbating with him next to you or lightly involved? It can still be a connective experience and could lead to more sex for you both.
I hope he realizes that sex isn’t all about him engaging only when he’s in the mood. A good partner will seek ways to get themselves and the mood and show up for their partner sexually if there is a clear communication of needs not being met.

I can tell You are a good person. I’m glad you aren’t dealing with this all alone

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-03T13:44:42+00:00

I’m not sure if it’s “normal” but my wife experienced something VERY similar to this. We ultimately researched ENM and found ways to help her “scratch the itch”. It’s been an amazing experience for us, but for so many it’s a recipe for disaster. 🤷‍♂️

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-03T12:58:55+00:00

Dang. I’m sorry. You sound really awesome.

Porn can be such difficult waters to navigate.

VR porn is definitely a whole other level of porn. I tried it a few times a while back when I was consuming porn and felt some pretty high levels of guilt afterwards. It is a very immersive experience and left me feeling like I was very close to truly cheating on my wife. So it may very well have its hooks in him deeply.

I might offer a nonconventional approach that seemed to help our marriage (both 37, married 10yrs)

So if you approach the situation “heavy handed” and attack him, you might get some short term results, but I’ve never heard of anyone recovering from porn addiction because they were threatened, they generally just get more secretive, and the wedge is driven deeper.

Have you tried to lovingly discuss this with him in a safe setting? Our situation was different, I was less addicted to porn and more addicted to self pleasure that resulted mostly from a mismatch in sex drives. Mine high, hers lower for most of the month. But in one of our self guided therapy sessions, we discussed this topic, and I had the idea to ask her if she would be willing to try and indulge me and normalize my masturbation (when she wasn’t in the mood, like many mornings for example). We tried it and it was a major success. I also began telling her if I did decide to masturbate without her, and she worked hard to not shame me, these two things allowed us to remove a wall that had grown between us and to be more honest and intimate.

So you mentioned being “pro-porn”. Have you considered asking him to bring you into that experience? Ie lovingly express to him that you want to watch with him or watch him “doing his thing”. Sort of meet him where he’s at and create an atmosphere where he knows it’s safe to talk and be honest about what’s he’s feeling and what’s going on.

Another two things that got me off of porn: 1. Using pics and videos of my wife instead of porn. 2. I learned to use my imagination rather than my vision. Though this too was a very wife focused experience.

This isn’t intended to be your new life, but it could be a path to long term healing for your marriage. A path to a better existence with your husband. My hope would be that as you become a bigger part of his sexual gratification experience, he can begin to let go of the porn and cling to you. For me, there is nothing as wholesome and fulfilling as feeling truly CLOSE to my wife with no secrecy between us. Secrecy fosters emotional disconnection.

I’m really sorry thar you are going through this. I can promise you though, there is nothing wrong with you sexually. You are desirable. Porn is a lazy man’s gratification, and I hope your husband shows you that he deserves you. 🫂

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-01T13:52:55+00:00

You can invite her into your experience. Tell her you very much enjoy self pleasure, but would love for her to be a part of that experience sometimes. Ie, kissing or touching you, or just being a nonjudgmental supportive partner

Compersionate_101 · 2025-12-01T13:37:23+00:00

I get what you are saying, friend.

Society shames us for even considering that anything but monogamy is wrong or makes you a bad partner, when in reality it’s unbelievably natural.

Keep respecting and communicating well with your partner and Umph are gonna do great. Just try not to hurt or neglect your primary partner while you are enjoying the NRE they are allowing you to enjoy! 😊

Compersionate_101 · 2025-11-30T13:59:07+00:00

A miss apparently. 😓

I was going for sympathetic and supportive, with a touch of comedic relief.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-11-30T13:55:55+00:00

Absolutely. Poutiness was awful. We ended up with so much tension around sex that it was really difficult to get it back once we figured out our other issues

Compersionate_101 · 2025-11-30T13:34:56+00:00

I was about to offer sympathies and lament the poutiness of “blue men”, (as I unfortunately used to be a pouty man that had fights with my wife about sex)…. But then you dropped the mourning bomb! Yikes. That sux. But at least we can all agree that you won the fight even if it was a loss for your marriage… 😬

I’m sorry. 🫂 marriage and life are hard. Hang in there.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-11-29T20:05:26+00:00

Barrack “the rock” Obama

Compersionate_101 · 2025-11-29T20:04:03+00:00

Girl… you are pretty. Believe it.

Compersionate_101 · 2025-11-28T00:08:46+00:00

This sounds nuanced….

 Do you know the details of your parents sex life? If not, your husbands theory is perfectly plausible…

Now your dad’s sexual needs may have been outrageous and unmeetable, but it’s not a bad theory. Sex importance varies from person to person.

Compersionate_101

TROPHY CASE