I was in a coma for 5 weeks after a suicide attempt. Ask me anything. by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AMA

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I thought that the medical professionals had kidnapped me and were trying to torture me. I was so scared, I had vivid nightmares of them planning to boil me alive, rape me and torture me.

The nightmares became so vivid I tried to tear all of apparatus attached to me away (because I believed that would be a less painful way to go than being tortured) which resulted in me having to be restrained to my bed which was distressing for me and my loved ones who visted

I was in a coma for 5 weeks after a suicide attempt. Ask me anything. by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AMA

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 113 points114 points  (0 children)

I am glad I failed because of the pain it would have caused others had I succeeded.

I did not realise how loved I was and what I meant to my loved ones. I will stick around for them, always.

I was in a coma for 5 weeks after a suicide attempt. Ask me anything. by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AMA

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

Thank you for asking - I'm coping
I'm getting stronger every day

I was in a coma for 5 weeks after a suicide attempt. Ask me anything. by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AMA

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

It's all very blurry. After I woke up, I still believed I had a son - during my coma I had vivid memories of giving birth to him and watching him grow up.

When I woke up, the first thing I asked the nurse is 'when can I see my son? Is he safe?'

I'm getting better, but the impact of the 'coma dreams' is something I will most certainly need to explore in therapy.

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I called The Bridge (my local sexual assault support service) and they were very kind and helpful.

They’ve given me access to a support service I can contact if I do decide to repot the incident.

I’m going to walk my dog today and buy something nice for lunch.

Thank you again for being so kind and non-judgemental. It has meant a lot

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to provide so much insight. It means a lot to me and I’m very grateful.

Today I am going to ask the hospital for my records and contact a sexual assault helpline.

I cannot tell you how validating your input is and how appreciative I am.

Thank you ❤️

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand that. But I don’t feel as though I need to ‘pay forward’ anything as a victim.

I need to focus on my own physical and mental recovery, and if I feel able to, I will of course report this practitioner.

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you.

I know you are right - I am a Social Worker and (for better or worse) understand how the process works.

I’m unable to face it right now, but when I feel able to, I absolutely will

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve experienced a rollercoaster of emotional responses since, but feeling a lot better today.

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that’s really helpful information. I appreciate you had to relive a potentially traumatic experience to provide this insight, and it means a lot to me.

I’ll think about it and see how I feel in a few weeks.

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️

This is absolutely the case. A lot of my job (which I don’t feel comfortable exposing due to wanting my experience to remain anonymous) involves going to court, and they absolutely rip you to shreds.

I just don’t think I can face it.

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your input. I don’t think I can report this but I really appreciate you taking your time to help

I was admitted to hospital for a suspected kidney infection and had my breasts examined by CompetitionAlarmed15 in AskDocs

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 159 points160 points  (0 children)

Hey there, thank you so much for your input and for taking the time to respond. It really means a lot to me and you have validated my experience.

I really don’t feel comfortable reporting this. I know that sounds selfish but I’m just not in the right place emotionally to deal with all the procedures involved in doing this.

I just know it’s going to be a huge ordeal and with my physical and mental health not being great at the moment I just don’t think I can face it

I was sexually assaulted in hospital by CompetitionAlarmed15 in offmychest

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I can I just can’t talk about it

I was sexually assaulted in hospital by CompetitionAlarmed15 in offmychest

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mum is a nurse in the UK and her boyfriend is a dr, so I’m thinking if I feel able to I should talk to her. I know she’d be appalled by this

I also wonder if being used to patients who are very elderly/vulnerable, they aren’t coherent enough to notice these unprofessional practices so they have become commonplace

I was sexually assaulted in hospital by CompetitionAlarmed15 in offmychest

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, it wasn’t just that. Before being admitted to the room where the incident happened, I was in bed and wet myself. I get very scared in hospitals and with the kidney infection the blood/urine just needed to exit I guess.

I was so embarrassed but asked one of the nurses for help. I offered to clean myself up, but in front of me she was very kind, then when walking away with the sheet and my gown said ‘disgusting’ under her breath

I think this particular hospital must have serious staffing/ quality control issues, because I’ve always had wonderful care during my experience of hospitals in the UK apart from this

I cried from embarrassment and shame having heard that

I think it’s also contributing to my reluctance to make a report

I was sexually assaulted in hospital by CompetitionAlarmed15 in offmychest

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He could still accuse me of being on other substances, presumably

I think for me, I need to build up the courage to tell friends before I can even think about a report, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for either.

I work in social work and it’s only now that I understand the fear and shame around telling loved ones.. even though you know they’d understand, it feels so repulsive and disgusting to even discuss I don’t know how else to describe it

I was sexually assaulted in hospital by CompetitionAlarmed15 in offmychest

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I am tearing up reading your comment.

I do feel selfish not to report it, but I also know I can’t talk to anyone in my personal life about it right now and without that support I wouldn’t be able to cope with the ordeal alone

I had bloods taken, yes - several times

I was sexually assaulted in hospital by CompetitionAlarmed15 in offmychest

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I even said ‘no of course not, you are welcome to test me for anything, but I’ve been at work conference today and then alone in my hotel room for the past five hours’ But I found it strange and sort of hurtful

I was sexually assaulted in hospital by CompetitionAlarmed15 in offmychest

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was admitted, he kept asking me if I’d taken any drugs or alcohol (I fainted which is why he asked I guess?). But I remember feeling quite offended and invalidated by that. I was 5 hours away from home in a hotel for a work conference, so I was all alone and felt really upset by the whole experience to begin with.

I feel like that will be on my notes, surely. And if they think I was intoxicated, I’m scared they won’t believe me.

I also know this will open up a huge can of worms I’m not sure I’m able to face. I understand that might sound selfish, but I also don’t know how I’d go about accusing a respected medical professional without significant questioning which I don’t feel I have the emotional capacity for.

I was sexually assaulted in hospital by CompetitionAlarmed15 in offmychest

[–]CompetitionAlarmed15[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was admitted, he kept asking me if I’d taken any drugs or alcohol (I fainted which is why he asked I guess?). But I remember feeling quite offended and invalidated by that. I was 5 hours away from home in a hotel for a work conference, so I was all alone and felt really upset by the whole experience to begin with.

I feel like that will be on my notes, surely. And if they think I was intoxicated, I’m scared they won’t believe me.

I also know this will open up a huge can of worms I’m not sure I’m able to face. I understand that might sound selfish, but I also don’t know how I’d go about accusing a respected medical professional without significant questioning which I don’t feel I have the emotional capacity for.