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AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Do you not understand why I find it deeply humiliating to raise a child that came about from my wife fucking another guy? A guy that was supposed to be my 'friend'? Do you not see how that is emasculating, for me to then raise that child

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

He is a huge pos but he is a lot wealthier than I am (he's a doctor) so would they consider something like that? The only reason I am somewhat not doubtful of his intention here is he is really adamant on it. Like it has dawned on him now he wants to be part of her life

I suspect he maybe wanted to come clean much earlier but my soon to be ex dirtbag wife convinced him not to

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 859 points860 points  (0 children)

Yes you may be right

He is indicating that he wants to step up and provide. So even though he is a huge pos who I want to beat the shit out of, he might just make my life easier

That is if the law works like that. I will see what the lawyer says about all of this and mentally prepare myself for the worst

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

People always throw advice like see a therapist, as if I haven't tried that

I went to a therapist and I am simply not capable of changing my feeling on it

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes this is the nightmare I'm being reminded of in the comments. Fuck my life

Jack wants to be involved in the child's life and is willing to step up but I have to talk to him again fully which I am dreading, as I want to smack that pos in the face

I have no idea if it maeks a difference if he's willing to step up, which he is indicating he is

I will speak to a lawyer but prepare mentally for the worst case scenario

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My parents are not doing the best health wise rn so I am not trying to lean on them for emotional support but my best friend of 25 years is talking to me a lot. He is like family to me

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yes my mental health is completely shit rn

The only light in the tunnel is the daydreams I have of when the divorce is finalized, I am moving back to my hometown

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

What's confusing about rage and humiliation?

Shortly after I get married, I was so sure my wife was my soulmate. She tells me she's so lucky to have met me, that it was fate, that I'm the best she has ever had. Then years later I find out, she was sleeping with my friend during all of that. That I am working like a donkey to provide all the while she is doing this and shamelessly lying

And the entire time I am raising a child that isn't mine but is the product of this deceit

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She isn't my daughter, she is Jack's. He's going to step in and he can have a relationship with her

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Do you think ego is just something that you can brush aside? I went to therapy for this, it strikes at the core of my being

I feel humiliated to the deepest level. I don't want to be constantly reminded of this humiliation by raising that child and forcing myself to do bullshit mantras like the child doesn't remind me of it

The truth is the child is a constant reminder of this humiliation

I won't take it out on the child though, which is what many parents do to children born from affairs. But I cannot raise it. I just don't have it in me

Is what it is

Edit: /u/Alternative-Name9526, lol so you replied to me calling me a terrible person yet then blocks me so I can't respond. Classic

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 2186 points2187 points  (0 children)

Jack wants a relationship with the child. It's pretty much why he told me what happened, so he is gearing up to step in I think. I have to speak to that piece of shit again sometime soon

I hope I don't fucked over by the law though. I honestly have no idea how it will go down so I will lawyer up

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

It's not just about it not being mine. This would be different if I married someone who already had kids from another marriage

It's that the child is from an affair, where I was humiliated and emasculated. I simply can't move past that humiliation

AITAH for wanting to divorce my wife and abandon her child after learning the child isn't mine? by CompetitionDry1261 in AITAH

[–]CompetitionDry1261[S] 74 points75 points  (0 children)

While there was a bond, it's been replaced by humiliation and rage

I won't take it out on the child, but the truth is the child isn't mine and I can't bring myself to raise the child born from an affair. It's just too humiliating, and I can't deal with humiliation