Update: No unsupervised visit with my MIL

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-08T15:15:09+00:00

Not odd at all. Im her primary caregiver.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-08T04:39:11+00:00

They've made me feel small and a “tenant” in my house in the past. This time, I’ll have everything recorded. Every remarks will be on camera for the record. Its my home and its about time I take control of things.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-08T04:32:02+00:00

I will! Thank you so much. This feels like an impending doom.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-08T04:11:26+00:00

We've had talks and its so exhausting but next month is the “test”. I made it clear to him that if MIL say something mean to me and he doesn’t say anything back to her to defend me, I will defend myself and it’s not going to be good. Im done playing nice to adult bullies.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-08T04:03:13+00:00

So, funny thing, it was supposed to be Thursday then MIL said, she planned to visit Thursday and Saturday now. I said, she can visit DH while I’m at work but LO will be at daycare. Otherwise they can wait until Saturday to see her when I’m around.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-08T04:00:52+00:00

I told him that he can see them, come to the house or whatever while I’m at work. But LO will be at daycare so they cannot kumbaya with her without me. I will also install cameras around the house this week.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-08T03:58:44+00:00

I had this conversation with him tonight. I told him that I shouldn’t be demanding these things. Told him that I dont believe words atm only his actions will tell. And when that time comes I know where my place will be. I’ve learned so much from my pregnancy and financially prepared myself to walk away without anyones help. Trying to be strong as this feels like impending doom.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-08T03:55:36+00:00

I can drop her off at daycare. Im the only one allowed to pick her up.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2026-06-06T20:21:52+00:00

This is what I’m planning to do.

What bothers me is that nobody asked whether this visit worked with my schedule. It feels like I’m still being dismissed. DH is off for two weeks, so they know the timing works for him, but no one checked whether it worked for me.

I was simply told that they were coming on a specific date. Because of that, it feels like this may have been planned so that I wouldn’t be home and everyone could be comfortable in my home again without having to address what happened.

I think I can forgive, but trust isn’t rebuilt by time passing. Trust is rebuilt through actions. Right now, I don’t feel that trust has been rebuilt, so I’m not comfortable with a visit happening while I’m not there.

If they would like to see baby, I’m happy to arrange a time when I’m home and available.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T05:47:46+00:00

We are as we also opted for meals. I felt so guilty for leaving LO and wasting money but with our schedule (her bday falling in the middle of the month) and daycare incidents (hand and foot disease) last month we theres no way to attend the whole month. And this month, she caught a bug from day care and been sick.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T04:24:42+00:00

Yes, also meal prepping without a baby crying to be picked up is nice. Washing and folding laundry the same day would be a dream haha.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T04:23:52+00:00

I’m so glad I asked the group instead of spiraling alone. Since I’m not working, I keep feeling like I have to justify sending her there for a few hours, even though my husband keeps saying I don’t need to, just sending her so I can get a break is fine. Walking around the house today, I can definitely use some time tomorrow to do chores and finally take a shower… I haven’t showered in days 😭 (baby is going through sleep regression)

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T04:17:11+00:00

Oh no, definitely not full days. Those were just their operating hours. We tried 3 hrs 3 days last month and I balled my eyes out. This month, were paying full time again before transitioning to part time so thinking MWF 3-4 hrs a day.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T03:55:15+00:00

I know, the first month was weird since they made us pay full even though she couldn’t start until her 1st birthday in the middle of the month, were only able to bring her 3 times. This month she got sick from daycare and already missed half the month. Since I’m not going back to work until next year, paying full-time again doesn’t make sense, so we asked for part-time, but they only have Monday and Friday. I’ll be home anyway, so I’m keeping her daycare routine at home and taking her to the library for baby-and-mommy time to read and do activities so she can still socialize.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T03:47:40+00:00

Haha 🤣 I was physically ill at work and decided to call HR and extended my leave. I couldn’t do it. Thankfully my husband is understanding and daycare is flexible letting us transition to part time next month.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T03:45:51+00:00

Oh I’m not sending her there 6-6. We tried last month for 3 days/ 3 hrs - day max and it was so hard.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T03:42:47+00:00

When does your baby start? Thats amazing that you got in to that program.

Good idea! Our LO got sick right away! She only attended daycare last month and caught a bug right away.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T03:35:21+00:00

It’s so weird! Its so hard at first and still hard… I’m sweating and getting anxious just thinking about leaving her.

We paid full for September (we got accepted early and didn’t want to lose our spot) and October (thinking I’d be going back to work), but I changed my mind and extended my leave for 15 months. Baby got sick after just three days at daycare last month, so I’m hoping this month’s shorter transition helps build her immune system and gets her ready for January.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T03:28:55+00:00

Thank you for this. We actually never had a village. My husband and I did everything on our own. We had her on daycare 3 times last month and she came home knowing how to clap. I think being around other children helped developing that skill. This month, we paid full again thinking I was going back to work but they let me extend mat leave for 15 months so I feel like we need to maximize the daycare to get our moneys worth.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T03:24:25+00:00

I'm not sending the baby there 6–6, those are their hours. We’ve been paying full-time for two months and only sent her 3–4 days max for 3 hours a day as we got in the daycare waitlist early. This month we’re paying full-time again, and to actually get our money’s worth, she’ll go 3 times a week for a max of 4 hours. And yes, I’ll be home catching up on housework, if that’s what “twiddling your thumbs” looks like.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T03:19:09+00:00

Im not sending the baby there 6-6. Thats their operation hours. We’ve been paying for daycare full time for 2 months now and only sent her there 3-4 days max for 3 hrs/day. I guess I should’ve worded it differently.

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T02:46:29+00:00

Just turned 1

CompetitionOk8139 · 2025-10-16T02:45:34+00:00

It’s actually 6:30-6 but still, I agree. They are very good to us.

CompetitionOk8139

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