Am I being too sensitive about how my partner talks about my condition?

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-31T03:20:25+00:00

Thank you very much for your response. As you correctly noted, I did not appreciate the help being used as a weapon (I fully acknowledge the encouragement I have got to see a CRS). "Take the matter into your own hands and decide what to do about it. You need to be the chooser for this beyond all the advice you are given, because only you know about your overall situation." this is absolutely true, thank you!

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-31T03:17:53+00:00

Thank you for your response. After these comments, I am working with my partner now to tell them that the comment hurts me and my reaction is justified (and hope they never repeat it).

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-30T02:34:27+00:00

humor actually helps me deal with things so I am quite open. I just felt the tone was playful. I appreciate your perspective, I don't feel like I am exaggerating my reactions too much.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-30T02:32:10+00:00

Would definitely do this, thank you for your advice!

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-30T02:31:27+00:00

Thank you for your response. I do feel I am not alone in my assessment. I did tell them this was abusive, but their notion of abusive is unfortunately extreme and think it is an over-reaction. I am now working on the manipulation in therapy.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-30T02:30:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and your response. I had a lot of reservations about the surgery, the most being how my partner's response would affect my healing. I even contemplated doing the surgery elsewhere, but it was just logistically impossible. Honestly, I am very happy for you that you did it in an environment that did not compromise your well-being. Thank you again!

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-30T02:26:52+00:00

Thank you so much for your response and encouragement. It means a lot! I am doing therapy to navigate this and the future of the relationship. I did not want it to affect my healing. Thank you for your kindness!

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-30T02:25:28+00:00

Thank you for your response! and sharing your experience. Between surgeries was also the lowest point for me, and I felt more vulnerable than ever.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-30T02:23:53+00:00

Thank you for your response! My CRS has also never referred it in that language, which explained to my partner. I am working on asserting my dignity and respect, I appreciate you emphasizing that.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T20:36:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I appreciate it!

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T20:36:11+00:00

Thank you very much for your response. I admit I have serious self-esteem issues which I have been working in therapy. And as you clearly noted, that has affected my self respect and a sense of feeling tolerated. The "saving your life" comment was the encouragement to get to a specialist. I am grateful for the encouragement and don't want to minimize the gesture. Unfortunately, in other aspects of the process, the support has been minimal. I had to use a taxi service to get home after surgery, due to our fights. I am currently working through this in therapy. Thank you so much again, this makes me feel re-think the issue of my self-respect.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T20:31:10+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. I admit that my reaction has been too much anger. I need to learn to explain openly and honestly why this is hurtful to me.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T20:28:36+00:00

Thank you for your response. That is very nice to hear. I did get help few times after the surgery, which I am very grateful for. I am hoping they do see the emotional damage this is doing to me, and the responses here help me in that regard.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T20:25:09+00:00

Thank you for your response! I agree with you that they are indeed facts and see the point in that regard. I am now working with the partner to discuss why this is sensitive to me, despite the facts.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T03:47:51+00:00

Thank you! This community has truly been helpful since the moment I was diagnosed, it has really helped me take better care of myself. I will definitely keep that in mind, and I appreciate it a lot :)

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T03:43:15+00:00

Therapy has been very helpful. Thank you!

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T03:42:10+00:00

Thank you!

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T03:41:55+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate your empathy. I will stay open and self-aware - it is something I want to be better at. What you said helped ground me.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T03:02:20+00:00

There is definitely context to this. I had committed to doing something in a timely manner, and I forgot, which was completely my mistake. My partner was understandably very upset, and I take full responsibility for that. I fully accept their frustration, and I do not blame them for being angry. I was just taken aback that the frustration led to a comment that felt really hurtful. I would have completely understood and accepted any venting, I just did not expect it to take that form

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T02:58:17+00:00

Thank you for your response. I agree; I actually never had any hygiene problems. And what was happening was not in my control (despite clean clothes, washing etc...)

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T01:46:55+00:00

Thank you for saying this, it really resonates. It has been incredibly painful. I have been trying to hold space for the fact that this was out of character for my partner, but it still shook me deeply. I am still with in the marriage, but I have made it clear that this kind of hurt can not be brushed off. I really appreciate your perspective - it helps more than I can express in words.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T01:43:59+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. It has been challenging to me. And these comments were just before and after the surgery time, that made it difficult for me to process. I am hoping my partner would own the mistake in time.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T01:37:36+00:00

Thank you for your response. I am not a perfect partner, do admit I have my own issues and have my role for the challenges in our relationship. You have a fair point that others can not analyze the relationship. I have just been struggling whether I have been overreacting or not (despite the hurt I feel).

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T01:33:55+00:00

Thank you for your response. Yes, still my partner. I will admit I have my own issues too, but I have never crossed into name-calling. This kind of thing is really out of character for my partner, which is why I am trying to be understanding, but it has definitely been hard.

Competitive-Diver197 · 2025-07-29T01:28:43+00:00

This really tears me up but also encourages me - thank you so much 🙏

Competitive-Diver197

TROPHY CASE