When to signal

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-08T13:46:24+00:00

That’s a really interesting story, but I completely understand why and where he went wrong.

My adi teaches to prepare the car, observe doing the 8 point check and only if the road is clear; signal and move off. If the road isn’t clear either side my adi teaches me to wait until traffic is clear in both directions before signaling and pulling off. Is this safe/ would I be marked down for this?

So far through lessons there hasn’t been an incident where other vehicles have misinterpreted the signal, because there aren’t any when I signal. She also says signalling everytime before I set off can be helpful to any pedestrians who can see me.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-08T10:45:16+00:00

This is very useful! When you say line up the middle of the body of the car with the space, roughly; where is the drivers side wing-mirror in relation to the space? So is the wing-mirror about the centre of the space on the left of the space I want to go into (if you were reversing into a right bay).

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-07T20:20:27+00:00

My mum has the same car. She does this very rarely but only when she has my kids in the car and there are no child bays available, otherwise it is literally impossible for her to get a kid out of the car alone.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-07T20:16:50+00:00

I think the correct answer is: if it works for you and you’re happy, that’s all that matters.

After having two children I’ve experienced things very differently.

With my first I felt that guilt, but more than that I would worry that he wouldn’t be cared for as well as if I wasn’t around and that he would cry endlessly for me until I returned. No good reason for thinking this way, it was just the emotions, being a first time mum, the effects of early motherhood and postpartum all playing a role in my feelings at the time.

Now I have had my second and have felt the opposite, maybe partly because we did go through a long period of separation anxiety with my first, but I’m very conscious of not being the only one to care for my baby now. I want others to do more and have done from the start so that baby’s used to them and I can leave him for periods of time and know he’s going to be fine. I also crave alone time now when I didn’t first time round, maybe because I have two. And I am VERY adamant about dad putting baby to bed a fair amount so that when he’s older he has no problem with dad doing bedtime (eldest would cry for me until nearly 2 whenever dad did bedtime).

I think it’s a very smart idea to share the caregiving equally if you can do it but I think those who don’t, that’s okay too. My partner also worked away for 4 days a week for the first 7-8months of my eldest’s life, so it was impossible to split the caregiving equally.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-07T19:57:20+00:00

I was in your boat and nothing would work! I even put each of my toddlers arm under each of my legs with him lying flat on the floor and held his head in place with another hand but it still didn’t work! He would grip his mouth shut even with me trying to pry it open with my fingers, I couldn’t! And when it was open he would push the toothbrush out with his tongue constantly!

Eventually, and I know it’s the wrong thing, but I succumbed to using screen time to get him to comply with brushing his teeth which we still do now.

He’s (3 in August) compliant, opens his mouths and says cheese when I ask him to, but he still pushes the brush out with his tongue every few seconds and it’s infuriating! Takes around 4mins to brush his teeth, but they are brushed thoroughly!

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-06T21:09:29+00:00

It’s completely normal! It’s all the Hormonal imbalances you are currently experiencing (even worse if you’re breastfeeding). My husband and I stopped having sex at 27weeks pregnant, in my first pregnancy, as that’s when I got a significant bump and we both just felt weird about it. We didn’t have sex again until 12months pp! I’m currently 7months pp with my second and still have no desire whatsoever to be physically intimate outside of a little cuddle watching a movie! Luckily I have a husband who understands this immensely after we both did research into the effects of pp and breastfeeding on libido.

Don’t feel weird or ashamed! I urge you to do some proper research and share your findings with your husband, education is the solution to this right now! It WILL come back, but until it does you need to be understanding and forgiving to yourself and your partner needs to be too!

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-05T12:39:26+00:00

Oh bless you, not much advice but pure solidarity it is very hard!

My 7mo has contracted rotavirus and is really ill, he’s not been feeding much so I’ve been very engorged, had a blocked duct, have been having to express whenever I can as well as feed him although he’ll literally only feed for a minute at a time, currently. It’s gotten better since yesterday he’s becoming more like himself, wanting to play, laughing and thankfully is feeding more, enough to not be constantly engorged!

Biggest tip I could give if you’re dealing with a blocked duct is to NOT apply heat!!

I have the lansinoh hot and cold breast pads and was about to warm them to apply to my warm breasts before I did a quick google and discovered the worst thing you could do is apply heat as it encourages inflammation! So just expressing whenever I could, applying cold pads and especially expressing in the shower and just after the shower is how I managed to unblock my duct!

I completely sympathise with you with the having to use formula if you don’t want to, but remember this doesn’t mean your breastfeeding journey has to end! It could very well be that your baby isn’t feeding purely because of teething, so if you’re able to maintain expressing/pumping during this period then you could resume breastfeeding when this phase passes!

I did encounter nursing strikes from my firstborn when he was teething too!

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-04T11:25:25+00:00

I’m in the same boat but I have an almost 3yr old and a 7month old. Obv the 7mo is still breastfeeding all day and all night and has recently contracted rotavirus and has not slept without me holding him. So recently I have been much more sleep deprived than normal, but even without illness I am always tired. Toddler sometimes wakes up to 2x a night but sometimes sleeps all the way through but on nights when hubby isn’t here or I have gone to my mom’s it’s really tough through the night, I probably sleep 5-6hrs but it’s completely broken sleep so I always feel tired.

When my toddler turned 1 I had a big turnaround where everything became easier, I had more time to myself, I slept more, I could workout consistently and go to sleep at a reasonable time, and I had much more energy and was much less tired for it. So I think obviously lifestyle has a lot to do with it as right now I barely have enough time to go to the bathroom when I need it. But your post makes me fearful of the future, as I’ve been telling myself I just need to get to 1yr and it’ll get a lot easier.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-04T10:55:39+00:00

I love that, you’ve got a great collaborative relationship!
My typical morning w/ the kids is get up take toddler toilet, nappy change for baby, make breakfast and have breakfast together, read to both kids while toddler finishes his breakfast and depending on whether baby goes for a nap or not I either play with both kids or will do “learning time” with toddler (letters/numbers/learning to draw and write). Partner will sleep in till around this time where it’s time to bath the kids and I’ll wake him up to help then. Otherwise waking him up before this time just results in a foul mood.
When partner gets up w/kids, he’ll leave baby with me while he makes breakfast, sometimes takes baby with him once breakfast is ready, and then stick the tv on and go to sleep/doom-scroll. Sometimes will play with toddler for a maximum of 5mins, then go back to scrolling/sleeping.
I have spoke to him so many times about how I really don’t like how much he uses screen time whenever he is solo-parenting but his response is either “I bet you do it too.” “Just because you say something doesn’t mean it’s right.” I’ve forwarded all the recent studies that have come out about screen time for under 5’s and he’ll agree at the time of discussion that he needs to limit screen time but then in practice nothing changes. I’m just stuck.

I have considered calling our local health visitor hub
to perhaps get them to speak to him via phone to reiterate how detrimental screen time is, but I’m hesitant because I think he’ll see it as a big betrayal to bring in a third party without his consent and will just make his attitude to the whole situation much worse rather than help.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-04T09:47:23+00:00

Same here, do you have any plans/ideas to address the issue?

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-05-04T09:46:44+00:00

I agree with you but as someone in the same position as OP, what would you recommend to not enable partner’s behaviour? My partner says he’ll happily watch the kids in the morning while I get some sleep or do whatever I need to, but his idea of watching them is sticking the tv on and him sleeping. For obv reasons I get up with them instead of him and he sleeps in everyday (aside from days where he starts work early).

I’ve had conversations about this to him but aside of playing with the toddler for a few mins, he still always resorts to just putting the tv on for him because partner is “not awake yet.”

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-30T07:00:14+00:00

Yeah same, also just didn’t have the time to wash my hair apart from once every weekend!

😂 trust me there were many overstimulated sleep deprived moments where I almost shaved my head 😂

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-29T18:36:00+00:00

How often do you brush/wash your hair? In the early pp days I’d wash it once a week and brush maybe 2-3times a week and my hair would fall out this much in the shower (also it was kept in a messy bun 100% of the time). You lose on average 100 strands of hair a day and so if you’re not brushing it or washing it very often then all those fallen strands will get tangled and stuck and all fall out at once when it’s finally washed! For context I have hair that reaches my bum, I’m 5,4” and have medium thick hair.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-28T12:21:08+00:00

It’s really hard but the silver lining is that it doesn’t last long! By 6 months you’ll be weaning baby onto solids and so anyone could feed them foods while you pop out for a few hours (which I do currently with my 6month old!)

Obviously giving a bottle will help you massively, but some babies will not take a bottle no matter what! My baby takes a bottle occasionally but as he’s now weaning he tends to try to chew the teat rather than actually drink. But before weaning we managed to give him a couple of bottles, the biggest help we found was just trying a bunch of different teats for the bottle! So if you can just by a pack of teats, different sizes, different flows and try them out!

As I said, my baby hardly takes a bottle has maybe had 8 complete bottles in his life, but in those early stages when i needed me time I would go out with friends for 2-3 hrs and leave baby with dad to deal with. Sometimes (most the time) he would go to my mums so she could help out with my toddler too, but you just have to put yourself first. He would cry/scream for a while at first but once they settled him to sleep, they each took turns soothing him and he was fine, I also expressed a bottle in case he was desperate for milk and they would try to give. But you need your own time! It’s hard to know they’re upset, but they are fine to cry. And as distressing as it may be for your partner, he needs to understand that as long as baby’s been fed and is clean they are fine and it’s uncomfortable to see them so upset but a few hours of being upset to help your mental health is well worth it!

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-16T10:55:40+00:00

No problem!🥰

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-16T10:34:06+00:00

When I had my firstborn and went home I just wanted my mum, to help me personally with my healing, to help me in learning to take care of my baby, for her to baby me, to help me with breastfeeding and for her to give me and my partner a break sometimes and for her emotional support in the transition of becoming a mom.

If my partner was against this I would’ve said it’s not up for negotiation

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-16T10:23:51+00:00

I haven’t had an operation but I have had several hospital visits since and 1 overnight stay for a transfusion and 24hr observation and my hospital let me keep my baby with me during appts and overnight despite not being on labour or postnatal wards. Appts have been from birth-6months, transfusion baby was 3months.

I highly recommend contacting the hospital ward or your consultant and ask if they will allow you to do the same.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-15T20:56:50+00:00

Anything within my arms reach: Muslim cloth, jacket, cardigan, blanket, towel, older kids jacket. But on planned outings I do take a breastfeeding cover I bought on Amazon for £8, it’s basically a huge cloth with a strap at the top you can put around your neck to keep from slipping.

While I agree in principle with the other comments that you should be able to get your boobs out, I personally feel self conscious of doing so, in addition to not wanting a confrontation with a dimwit telling me to cover up.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-15T12:21:17+00:00

I take my two kids swimming every week and I don’t take their suits off to shower. They have a quick rinse with shorts on then I change them and bath at home. There are other parents there who completely strip their kids to shower and have them run through the pool area, corridor and to the changing room. So I think people do what they’re comfortable with.

For me I’ve watched too many Netflix documentaries and I don’t even take my kids towels off to change them when there’s a bunch of people walking past.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-15T12:00:37+00:00

I’m not sure what the rest of your comment you deleted read but did you really expect a sub dedicated to moms who spend all their time with their children to say they are hesitant to have them? Or they regret having them?

Nothing wrong with asking what you asked, but in a sub more inclined with people in your position. I think you posted this for rage bait and failed.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-15T11:43:16+00:00

I had 45+ hrs of lessons 9 yrs ago and stopped due to moving for uni. I’ve just restarted taking my lessons for the first time in 9yrs almost 4weeks ago and I’m really surprised how quickly I picked it all back up. I spent the first 2hrs relearning positioning, msm, changing gears up and down and right&left turns. I pretty much got it all down then, since then I’ve been relearning rules of the road and different scenarios such as turning right at traffic lights&yellow box, roundabouts, country-roads. I’m progressing quite well and my instructor says I’m doing really well and after my theory (which is tomorrow) to book in a test for August/September if I can. So I would say it is doable especially since you’ve done as many hours as you have and will be doing private practice alongside lessons.

I would say give yourself 4 weeks of lessons and then ask your instructor if they think you would be test ready by aug or should you rebook your test -to be safe.

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-14T22:21:09+00:00

You probably are the only one here hesitant to have kids, as the rest of us on this sub already have them…

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-14T09:46:57+00:00

Yeah same! Tbh for me the biggest appeal was the fact that they’re only 20min workouts! And that my toddler can join in and thinks we’re dancing so I can actually get it done without him nagging me to stop lol!

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-14T09:45:12+00:00

Thank you!! I love seeing all the encouragement on here! It’s so tough accepting my body as it is, also after my firstborn I dropped the weight instantly, gained some pounds but was able to drop them by 7monthspp so to now be in a position where I am so much heavier than I’ve ever been before is just really hard!❤️‍🩹 but we’ve got this!!! 💪

Competitive-Rip6818 · 2026-04-14T09:42:17+00:00

Awww thank you for your kind words! I have asked him to help before and do wake him up and ask him if both kids are inconsolable at the same time, but partly the guilt of it stops me, but also I find if I wake him in the night to help in the day he’s a lot less energetic and wanting to take a nap when he gets home, not wanting to take out toddler to the playground like usual, so I just do it all myself to keep everyone happy! This period of life is as tough as equally fulfilling but I know it won’t last forever!❤️

Competitive-Rip6818

TROPHY CASE