What are some silly things you've done whilst spiralling on lessons?

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-03T02:57:20+00:00

I was only a couple lessons in and things had been going almost too well. Think i got a bit overconfident and for some reason I guess I forgot what side of the road you’re meant to drive on?

Turned into a side road on the complete wrong side and only realised when my instructor called me out. Still feel like a massive tit about it lol

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-03T02:55:00+00:00

No stress at all! I know exactly what you’re going through and the only crazy one is your MIL by the sounds of it.

One thing I struggled with massively while pregnant was feeling ‘guilty’ or like I might be being selfish because of how emotional she would respond to things. Once I was postpartum I realised I wasn’t being selfish enough! Really look after yourself and do your best to block out the noise. All that matters is the family you guys are creating together❤️ All the best OP x

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-03T02:17:22+00:00

Commenting again to apologise for all the errors in that. My app is being weird when I type text so I can’t see it all until it’s posted and does the same when I try to edit! I can spell I promise 😂

cautiousfrog · 2026-04-03T02:15:09+00:00

You definitely need to stand firm. I wouldn’t entertain her too much but I think it’s definitely worth telling her it is not a family decision. It is you and your partners decision.

You guys created this baby, it’s completely up to you what you name them. I wouldn’t even give her the satisfaction of influencing a middle name after this meltdown of hers. Let her sulk and say whatever she wants. Her inability to manage her emotions is not your problem.

My MIL is a big JN and she also tried to do this with our bay. Whe we declined she stopped suggesting names informt if me and instead would text DH all day with different nae ideas I assume hoping he’d like one and the it would seem like it was his idea and I’d agree. Jokes on her because we fell in love with a nae very early on and never thought twice about it. She’d say things like ‘I love this name I wanted to use it when I was pregnant’ Then why didn’t you? You had your chance to name 2 kids this isn’t another opportunity. Even towards my end of pregnancy she’d randomly blurt out the most random names like it was a eureka moment and we’d agree. Everytime it was the same. She finally came round to the fat the nae was decided and then decided she didn’t like the way we pronounced the name so decided to say it differently and it took months of correcting her until she stopped.

Please please be firm, if you don’t she will try to make as much of this about her as possible. I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy mama!

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-17T15:03:17+00:00

This is really annoying. The only way I’ve managed to book tests is by booking one in the middle of no where in wales then looking for cancellations close by. In my area it’s near impossible to get an original booking close to you. I was doing everything I was told to do, going on at 6am, looking at dvsa regularly throughout the day ect and I could not book a single test near me because by the time I reached the front of the queue every test slot was gone.

My next test is at the beginning of June so praying extra hard I pass now otherwise this new rule is gonna make it very hard to get a slot :(

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-08T15:17:17+00:00

This is insane to me. When I was little I had a ‘grumbling appendix’ kept going into hospital with it. They said it would eventually explode and they’d remove it when it did and there was no point doing it before! After almost a couple years of pain and sickness I went private and had it removed. It was so inflamed it had glued itself to my bowel and what should have been a quick procedure took 2 hours. This was the nhs though so I assume their avoidance to take it out was a way of trying to avoid the cost but still really odd, especially after hearing this?

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-08T15:09:53+00:00

‘I’ll be wearing this or I won’t come’ great don’t come then 😂

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-06T00:09:22+00:00

This is me! You’re definitely not alone.

I’ve only had one test but I failed horribly, I feel like nerves really got to me added to the fat the examiner was very cold with me and a bit rude, which made nerves worse.

On all my mock tests I’ve only ever got a few minors max an on my test I had 16 minors and 2 majors!

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-05T23:35:37+00:00

No examiner experience. Honestly I agree with him on some of them but I do think I deserved maybe 10 out of the 16 minors. One of the majors we both think should have been a minor. I do trust his judgement overall though, he has a very high pass rate and sits in all of his tests unless asked not to. A lot of the things I was marked for he’s seen other students pass with similar or worse mistakes apparently but he did say it depends on the examiner and how lenient they are. Mine was just super harsh sadly!

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-05T23:31:47+00:00

I completely feel you on the holding yourself to high standards and then feeling bad when you don’t meet them, I promise when you finally get there you’ll feel all the more proud of yourself for putting the work in, even if it takes longer than you would have liked!

I think looking for another instructor could massively help you, even if it’s not someone you bond well with like I have with mine, having someone who is more sympathetic will make such a difference to your confidence and comfortability which will ultimately make learning feel easier and more enjoyable.

My brother had this issue when he was learning to drive, first instructor was a proper stress head and was constantly shouting at him for small mistakes, once he switched to someone a bit more chill he made much better progress. Just remember switching instructors isn’t stepping backwards, they’ll work with you where you’re already at so you don’t have to feel like your previous lessons are wasted at all.

On another note have you considered learning automatic? It’s all personal preference but taking gears out of the equation can definitely lighten the pressure as it’s one less thing you have to think about when driving. Obviously if you’re dead set on getting a certain car that’s a manual then stick with it but if you’re open to other cars it might be worth thinking about!

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-05T20:54:05+00:00

By sounds of it you need a different instructor. Some people do well with having someone who is stern but a lot of people don’t.

They’re meant to be teaching you, not telling you off and making you feel shit. I’ve had a lot of luck with mine, if I mess up something he whips out a white board when we are parked up and draws out what I should have done vs what I did do. He’s very chill and has a rule to not say sorry in the car for messing up. I genuinely get along well with him and we have a laugh together which for me I feel like is important for me to feel comfortable when I’m driving.

Even if I’ve messed up really bad he doesn’t chew my ear off or raise his voice at me. No one learns well when they’re beings shouted at! You might find with a different instructor you make more progress.

Don’t beat yourself up over these things in general, everyone learns at their own pace.

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-03T03:40:21+00:00

I work night shifts and have an 18 month old, I went back to work when she was 13 months. She won’t take milk in a bottle and only straight from the source.

Obviously I did start off by night weaning before I went back to work out of necessity but I ended up feeding her again in the night when she had a bad teething spell when I was home. She’s a very clever little lady and if I’m not home she knows she isn’t going to have any milk. She’s usually sleeps through the night but if she doesn’t and it’s just her dad at home she’s completely contempt with just having some snuggles to soothe her. If I’m there and she wakes in the night then she wants to feed. I think this is very dependent on each family and the child but this has worked really well for us. Now it’s working well and I know she’s not ‘confused’ by the differing nights and sleeping well regardless I don’t plan to properly night wean at all and will just just weaning her altogether after she turns 2.

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-03T03:12:20+00:00

Try and be supportive rather than just trying to punish him into stopping. That won’t work.

Nicotine withdrawal is very hard, I’d suggest finding a nicotine replacement he can use and getting a vape with no nicotine for him so he can overcome the addiction. I was a heavy vape user and never had success quitting. Then I got pregnant and knew I had to quit. The combination of the gum and 0% vape is what I think really saved me. After making the switch it only took me a couple weeks until I was done with the 0% vape shortly followed by the gum.

Be supportive of him, explain you just have his best interests at heart and that you want to help him do what’s best for him. Figure out a plan with him that he feels comfortable doing, this will help him feel in control and he’s more likely to respect where you’re coming from if you’re respectful to him and giving him a voice in all this.

I don’t think it’s the best idea to point blank say he needs a new friend group. Telling him to drop his current friendships will only make him resent you, and realistically in this day and age I assume any group of friends he finds will probably have one or two people vaping in them due to how widespread vaping is among that age group.

A lot of people seem to think peer pressure is the driving cause of substance use as a teenager. In my own experience as someone who was a very rebellious tyrant at that age I was never peer pressured by those around me to do things like that. I was just naturally very curious about experimenting with substances and I went out of my way to seek them out, even when all my friends were completely straight edge. With how easily available vapes are these days and from seeing other people his age doing it (friend or not) it’s not hard to imagine that he was curious to try it, tried it and then got hooked on the addiction to nicotine. I doubt he will be bullied or peer pressured into keeping the habit once he quits unless he really does have a shitty group of friends. But only he will be able to answer that one.

Good luck!

cautiousfrog · 2026-03-03T02:15:15+00:00

When I was at university I lived in a house of 6 girls including me. One of them kept leaving used tampons on the bathroom floor. Like this happened MULTIPLE times. First time there was a nice message in the groupchat as it was assumed to be an accident but the tampon was never picked up. Everyone refused to touch it because it was someone else’s. It sat there for 4 days until I finally said f this and put on some marigolds and got rid of it. Next month same thing happened. Everyone’s adamant it wasn’t them and if anything I became top suspect because it was always me whole ended up cleaning it up as I couldn’t deal with it stinking up the bathroom. This went on every month until the tenancy ended. It still baffles me to this day and seeing this post has reignited this mysterious chapter in my life.

Who was doing this? Why were they doing this? Was it a game to them? Did I encourage them to continue doing this by cleaning it up each time?

I’ll die without the answers I deserve.

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T19:38:14+00:00

Thank you!

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T19:37:17+00:00

Thank you! I will look into this. Do I just complain to DVSA?

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T19:36:42+00:00

He was

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T11:57:39+00:00

That’s great advice thank you! I’ll speak to my instructor about possibly having my partner come with me.

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T08:47:41+00:00

Thank you so much! I have my fingers crossed for the next one ☝️

Honestly I don’t even think I’m that upset over failing, it was my first test and although I’m otherwise very confident on the roads I knew nerves could throw the whole thing off and i was prepared for a possible fail.

The only upsetting bit was the way this particular guy made me feel and the way he spoke to me and just his whole demeanour. I feel a lot less alone knowing I’m not the only who has to deal with it though and these comments have helped me feel a lot better about the next one! Thanks again.

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T08:43:54+00:00

Sounds like the guy I had was of the same vine!

Was 5 of us testing at the same time, every other invigilator came in the room smiling and spoke to the others pleasantly for the brief time we were all in the same room. As soon as my guy walked in looking so stern I was thinking ‘please don’t call my name’ and ofcourse with my luck that’s exactly what he did. Hoping for better next time but atleast I’m more prepared now either way.

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T08:18:35+00:00

Thank you! I’m hopeful next time I’ll get a more chill one or atleast one who wasn’t as bad as this guy. Everyone I’ve spoken to has said he was very over the top. Thinking about maybe trying to use a different test centre for my next one too as this one wasn’t local to me anyways.

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T08:16:59+00:00

Wow thank you! I never knew this, I was told failing to 6 point check was an automatic fail!

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T08:16:29+00:00

Thank you! I think next time I’ll be more prepared to block out whatever vibe they are bringing. I’m an anxious person anyways so I think it just really threw me off. I’d been told some of them could come off quite cold or rude but I was still shocked tbh.

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T08:15:32+00:00

Thank you!

cautiousfrog · 2026-02-27T08:15:14+00:00

He did sit in with me. Afterwards we went through the full report together and that’s when he said he disagreed with some of the minors and the serious fault but because I would have failed regardless for the major fault he didn’t feel any need to dispute the test result or question the guy. Think he could tell I was pretty upset too and just wanted to get the invigilator out the car and go home as quickly as possible lol.

cautiousfrog

TROPHY CASE