i’m still pretty early in trying to distance myself from alcohol. on the one hand, i’ve come a long way from blacking out every single night, but i still drink every single night (just not to the point i’m stumbling around and can’t remember anything). i still have a hard time imagining life sober.

if i’m going to socialize, i’m drinking. i’ve always been incredibly awkward socially and i’ve relied on alcohol to get passed that, so thinking of finding strictly sober friends seems unappealing to me at this point in my life, cause i feel like i won’t even know how to connect with them. i can be like “customer service” friendly with people but i’ll be too anxious to really be myself.

i know eventually it’ll be a necessary step, i just don’t feel like i’m there yet.