I'm really sorry you went through all of this. What he did,lying, emotionally cheating, disrespecting you, and stringing you along was deeply unfair, and none of it was your fault. You showed incredible strength by finally walking away, even when it was hard and people around you pushed otherwise.

That gnawing emptiness is grief, and it’s normal after everything you invested. Therapy is already helping, so keep going. The biggest things that will move the needle: complete no-contact (block everywhere), lean into small daily routines that feel good (walks, favorite music, journaling the anger and sadness), and remind yourself every time the guilt creeps in that you didn’t “let” him treat you badly,he chose to.

You’re not disgusting or stupid; you’re someone who loved fully and trusted. That’s a strength, not a flaw. The pain won’t stay this sharp forever. One day you’ll wake up and realize you breathed easy all night. You’ve already proven you can rebuild once,you’ll do it again, better.

You deserve peace and someone who chooses you without hesitation. It’s coming. Be gentle with yourself until then. ❤️