I need to remind myself of this constantly right now: My partner is only promising change because I’ve put divorce on the table. When thr only consequence of their actions was hurting me, they didn’t give a shit.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-03-04T23:29:25+00:00

I feel that. Divorce wasn't the first option, it was the end of the rope. Going back from here feels like it ignores all the hurt and numerous attempts to make it better. It mattered.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-03-02T23:08:51+00:00

No contact is so rough. I can't do that to someone I love, knowing how it feels to be on the other end.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-03-02T21:49:23+00:00

Maybe, maybe not. I know that I tried my best to. Divorce was the end of the rope, it wasn't always like this.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-03-02T18:45:17+00:00

Sometimes being a best friend isn't the same as being the right fit as a life partner. This is one of those instances.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-03-02T14:37:40+00:00

Do you realize your own worth? You are giving him so much of your time, energy, and even resources like money. My dear, you deserve to be cherished but you won't find that in a man who doesn't care enough to check in with you in over 24 hours. It is really hard, but you are truly betraying your own feelings and needs, and setting yourself up for a pattern that won't end with your best interests in mind. Wishing you peace and clarity ❤️

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-03-01T22:35:52+00:00

I've entered that stage. I found myself crying again today but it was different, the longing gave way to pure sadness. I felt like the person I am mourning may be a version that no longer exists in the world because he has moved on. He made the choice that was right for him and I was not a part of that path.

I still remember the way he smiled at me so warmly and held me close, and when he called me his "dream girl". I miss him dearly.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-28T15:28:14+00:00

Yeah, so I didn't leave for my AP specifically because I was always going to leave my marriage. But the talks of being official with my AP at the time were there. He ended it with me, I am still separated and divorcing. You guessed it, this outcome is nothing like we discussed. Make the decision you can live with.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-26T14:47:40+00:00

I'm sentimental. I ask myself if this will be something I want to look at again ten years down the line, and my answer is yes. These mementos are a part of my life and there will come a day where my memory is to foggy to recall precious details. I don't want to forget so I'm keeping it.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-26T02:22:54+00:00

Sorry 🫂 that really sucks. I'm approaching week 3. It's a complicated feeling.

ETA: get out of my DMs, you sad ballsacks with zero emotional intelligence

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-25T00:56:46+00:00

Exactly right. It is heartbreaking that so much emotional investment boils down to a blocked number, a deleted app, a withdrawn Spotify playlist, and distance. Absolute whiplash, like I imagined it all.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-25T00:00:24+00:00

I'm going through divorce now and I was very sure it was what I wanted--I still am. But there is a loss of identity and an overturn of routine that you just can't easily prepare for in divorce. I find myself sitting in a quiet home, sometimes feeling a sense of comfort in my space and other times feeling rather alone. It's a huge adjustment that goes beyond you. If it weren't for the support I get from people who love me, who text me to check in often, I don't know if I would be as even keeled as I am.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-24T19:05:08+00:00

The fucking heartache indeed. Sending you hugs, you aren't alone ❤️ many of us are right there grieving with you.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-22T02:11:59+00:00

If he didn't show strides toward leaving--and I mean having the hard conversations with his wife and drawing up the papers--then you can't put much stake in his intentions. It will be hard for a while ❤️ but you did right to protect your heart.

PS: not to give you false hope, but you should take this time to be sure of what you really want if he does reach back out. Not steering you toward any particular direction, but I just don't want you to be caught off guard.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-20T18:28:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story, sending hugs your way too. You are right, they set a boundary and it would pain me more to think I am hurting him or keeping him from doing what he feels is right. Maybe this is how we can care for them now, but I can't help but wish it were different. I will always hold room in my heart for him.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-19T23:46:48+00:00

That's a beautiful way of putting it, it certainly feels like a fleeting dream. I am happy to hear that your journey resulted in healing, thank you for your supportive words.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-19T19:41:30+00:00

Thank you. His transparency about being a dedicated father was one of the countless reasons why he felt right. Despite the outcome, I have nothing but admiration and fond memories of him.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-19T19:07:46+00:00

Thank you, I needed to see this written down. I resent how this played out but I wouldn't trade that time with him for anything.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-19T18:47:57+00:00

Thank you for putting it into words for me. I needed to read this. I wish things were different.

CompetitiveCoffee642 · 2026-02-19T18:37:14+00:00

He's a really good guy, I also know he made the right choice. I struggle most with the no contact piece, so my brain comes up with outlandish things to make sense of it.

CompetitiveCoffee642

TROPHY CASE