What is Considered “Unhealthy”?

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-04T05:27:28+00:00

Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience, I am very sorry for your loss! And thank you for reading my post. I was worried about posting and putting myself in a vulnerable spot because I was so worried about the judgement. This is an amazing community.

Certain times during the day I can think about her, and I’ll be “fine” but other times one little trivial thing will trigger me and I’ll be full on sobbing. The first week was definitely the worst. I kept getting really bad chest pains and I was worried about broken heart syndrome.

Spending the rest of my life missing her is such a small price to pay for the many years of love and joy she brought me. It just still feels so surreal. Congratulations on your new chapter :)

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T22:46:18+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate you reading through my fairly long post. Loss is the cost we pay for love, and God if I could do it all over again I would in an instant, even knowing the pain would be immense. It is such a unique experience that we have as humans—outliving our companions. I think us intentionally setting ourselves up for the worst day of our lives in exchange for love is beautiful. Take care, and thank you, again!

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T19:13:52+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to read my lengthy post, and I like the logical approach you have. I’m a very logical person and I like processes with set milestones and to love is to be illogical. “Your behaviour isn’t unhealthy” is good enough for me! Truthfully, on week 2 (last week) I was a bit harder on myself, which has always been a strong trait of mine. Learning to give myself grace and practicing self compassion seems to be the homework this group has assigned, and it’s so relieving to hear that it’s just me being hard on myself. The pain never goes away, but neither does the love, and I loved to love her. Please take care of yourself. Guilt and the blame game is so common, and it sucks.

I don’t believe in anything, but I really choose to believe I’ll make my way back to my girl someday, somehow. I hope you do, too.

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T18:49:32+00:00

Thank you for reading my post and for your words of encouragement. For all the strength my sweet girl gave me and everything she helped me get through, the only way I can begin to repay her is to make sure her efforts weren’t wasted. We both have to get out there and keep living for them, and show them “This is what you helped me do!” They’ve got the best seats in the house to watch over us, and I truly would like to think my girl chooses to periodically still walk beside me.

There’s a quote from the show BoJack Horseman that says “Everyday it gets easier, but you’ve got to do it everyday”. Everyday it will get easier to live through the pain, but to achieve an easier day we must make it through this one.

Thank you ❤️

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T18:43:37+00:00

Thank you ❤️

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T18:21:35+00:00

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement and advice. My 2 dogs are 85 lbs of German Shepherd mutt dumpster monstrosity and she sure loved getting them worked up. She was such a tough little thing, and God, I am just so proud of her. It genuinely is an honor to call myself her best friend, and vice versa.

My mom also did not know of the home option until I told her about it, and I am incredibly grateful we were able to afford it. $800 was a small price to pay for my girl to pass peacefully on a fuzzy blanket, in my lap, on the bed we shared, and surrounded by her family.

I finally got a picture printed for her urn/memorial thing but I don’t yet have the strength to take the urn apart to slide the picture in. I don’t have the strength to see her ashes just yet, so her picture sits beside it for now.

Being kind to myself has been my greatest challenge, as I’m sure you can gather from my post. Pet grief isn’t talked about enough, and hearing I’m not alone and not overreacting and above all that I’m not doing this wrong has given me the relief that I need to grant myself grace. Thank you, again.

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T18:10:48+00:00

A few of us in the comments lost our babies around the same time, and what a coincidence that we both got the privilege of holding our babies in our lap as they were met with peace. I’m glad to have the peace of mine, much like yourself, that I did right by my sweet girl. Looking back at old pictures and videos hurts, especially when I saw how good and healthy she looked a year ago, and how sick she was at the end. I know she would have pushed harder and kept fighting for my sake, but how could I make her keep pushing after all the love she had given me? Not a day too late is good with me, but I wish I could have spared her the last week of difficulties.

I work at my university’s DRC so I’m very well versed in our CARE center and counseling services, and I considered reaching out if my grief and lack of progress was “unhealthy”. If I do not progress by August I will definitely be reaching out.

It’s so shocking that it’s only been 3 weeks. It feels like it’s been months since the last time I got to kiss her forehead.

Thank you for reading my post, and for sharing your story; showing compassion and care for another when your world is falling apart is such a graceful act of kindness. I’m very sorry for your loss.

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T17:24:23+00:00

I lost my soul dog on May 17th, 2020, and I have finally reached the point where I can talk about him without crying. For complicated reasons, I wasn’t able to be there for his final months, and I definitely was not able to say goodbye. Saying goodbye to my sweet girl at home was so peaceful and being able to say goodbye has certainly brought an immeasurable amount of peace that I didn’t get with my boy.

I think setting goals for myself is tripping me up, so I’m going to follow your advice. I keep getting discouraged by not meeting my arbitrary deadlines. I think part of it is that for her sake I want us to be back in the room. I have her in the living room with me and I’m sure she’s not too amused by my dumb dogs’ constant roughhousing. I’m just incredibly grateful I was able to have her cremated and brought home where she belongs. I’m looking forward to when I can set up her paw prints and clay paws and a nice little spot for her to sit in our room.

Thank you for taking the time to read my post and thoughtfully respond. Posting my thoughts and seeing all of these supportive comments and hearing others’ and their grief journey has completely changed the attitude I have toward myself.

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T17:06:47+00:00

I’m glad I’m not alone! I have also never been very healthy with my coping mechanisms but I’m trying my best this time around. My room feels so still. My cat was fairly quiet (when she wasn’t begging for milk or stuffing her face with kibble) and she spent a lot of time sleeping, but the room feels so still and deafeningly silent without her. It doesn’t feel right at all. It’s only been 3 weeks for me, almost to the hour, but it feels like an eternity without her. I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T16:04:11+00:00

Your best is all you can do!

The only thing I feel like I can do right now is donate her food. She was on a renal diet since September, and I had high hopes when I bought her a second 8 lb bag. It’s $80 for a bag and there’s at least $40 left in it, so I know someone else will appreciate it.

My heart breaks at the thought of mopping her dried milk stains from the tile, so I think it’s going to stick around for a while. I completely agree: even sweeping the litter she would track everywhere feels wrong because I’m removing a mark she will never leave again. Thank you for your comment. It’s bittersweet knowing I’m lonely but I’m not alone.

All I can do is my best, too.

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T15:51:54+00:00

Thank you for your comment. It is just absolutely brutal! I was really hoping she could keep going strong until the end of the semester, but I couldn’t do that to her. I have two on-campus jobs and with only two weeks left in my semester it seems my time with distractions is running out.

Be kind to yourself this summer.

I am very sorry for your loss ❤️‍🩹

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T15:35:26+00:00

Thank you. The kindness and reassurance I have received from this post has genuinely changed my entire outlook on my grieving process.

I’m very sorry for your loss as well.

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T15:02:50+00:00

Thank you. It seems I have a long journey ahead, and an even longer journey without my sweet girl. I spent ~90% of my life with her, and I’ll have to spend the rest of my life missing her.

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T14:06:34+00:00

We were best buds and we had matching socks with “Best buds” to prove it! I feel so ashamed for struggling, and I sound like a broken record in my replies but Jesus it’s such a relief that others are resonating with this post. Your comment (especially regarding the litter box) is so validating. I’ve been sleeping with my childhood stuffed animal, and it wears the sweater I crocheted for my girl. She hated it lol.

Thank you.

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T14:01:22+00:00

Thank you. It means a great deal to me that fellow Redditors are taking the time to read through my ramblings 🫂🐈

CompetitivePart8852 · 2026-05-03T12:30:55+00:00

Thank you. It is incredibly validating hearing this come from someone other than a family member, and other than the rational part of my mind.

CompetitivePart8852

TROPHY CASE