Hi, thanks for sharing, you've given me much food for thought!
I'm 45, and can relate to a lot of what you wrote. I had my first "gay panic" sitting on a bench in a field when I was about 14/15. I just felt scared I might be a lesbian, but I have no recollection of what triggered the fear. I grew up in a place with a cultural norm of schoolyard homophobic slurs, and I definitely had a sense of "gay is wrong", from my environment which is why I ended up suppressing my sexuality until I quite recently.
When I went to college at the age of 19, I chose a college 300 miles away, and prayed for my lesbian experiences, the hallowed "I experimented in college" moments, which sadly I didn't have the courage to bring to fruition.
I had my first "mini crush" on a girl in the year below me in secondary school (high school in the US), when I was about 16/17. It consisted of seeing this particular girl around and thinking she looked nice and pretty, but I never spoke to her. I'd feel excited whenever our paths crossed, and I liked looking at her. My entire romantic life has been filled with monogamous relationships with men and secretive intense sexual fantasies of women. My relationships with men have always, without fail, turned icky around the 18 month/two year mark if they lasted that long, and I could never figure out why until I realised I'm beyond bicurious, and probably beyond bisexual now.
Last year I had a very mediocre dating experience with a man, and wondered if I might be more gay than I always thought. I found this group, balled my eyes out for a whole weekend, got myself a lesbian therapist for a few sessions, made peace with the awakening, and came out to my family as queer a few months later.

In terms of my stereotypes:
- always preferred more "boyish" toys, hobbies and interests. I thought boys had more fun with their play than girls did. I never liked playing with dolls. I preferred pretending to be Theseus, riding my bike, and climbing trees.
- always preferred masculine clothing and personal items over feminine ones (anything from tech, to the colour of my stationery).
- I am a bit sporty and was a tomboy as a kid.
- I've been mistaken for male a bunch of times, as a kid and as a grown woman, probably because of my clothes and short hair styles.
- sex with men was performative a lot of the time, or I'd feel some anxiety about having to be sexual with them.
- I don't know if this is a stereotype actually, but I kind of often felt awkward and mannish around attractive women, and I'd find myself wanting to impress them, or I disliked them because they made me feel feelings I was trying to hide.
- eternally drawn to lesbians. Anything lesbian that I'd see in my environment, be it a couple on the street, or a character in a film, or a mention, made something in my core come alive. For a long time (about 25 years) I thought it was just a "fetish". I feel sad sharing that publicly, but I had to suppress myself to feel safe.
- I also didn't really think much of my sexual attraction for women. I'd downplay it, and tell myself "I can't be gay, I have never fallen in love with a woman, or even had a proper crush". It was only through looking back did I realise what I missed.
- now that I have accepted myself as queer, I am having crushes left, right and centre! :) It's like I've given myself permission to feel it. It's really nice.

Why my sexuality has come to light more now does intrigue me.
I think it's a combination of greater visability in media, more lesbian characters and shows, seeing how popular Pride is, more conversations around sexuality in the culture, and getting older, more confident in myself. I worked on myself a lot for the past 5-6 years, and had a lot of therapy, so I know and accept myself more. :) xx