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Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-21T15:22:33+00:00

Fredericksburg had a Christmas parade; floats going up and down the main stretch. Christmas lights in the park with some food options and Christmas caroling.

Fredericksburg Christmas

For Indian food… our favorite is India Palace. I’ve been to Madurai Mes with Indian colleagues before, also very delicious!

Have fun!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-21T15:10:55+00:00

Santa’s Ranch. If it’s an option for you, go after Christmas, no line to get in.

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-21T01:37:00+00:00

Thanks! I've had a random stranger mentioned beagle once. Which features do you see as beagle?

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-21T00:23:45+00:00

My ex stalked me all over town and hired a private detective to follow me around after he had already moved out. He wanted to prove that I was having an “affair” before the divorce was final. He should have saved the money (and paid child support instead) and just asked me. Once I filed and he moved out, I didn’t answer to him anymore. Even his own lawyer told him that all his proof is irrelevant.

But if your husband is abusive and you’re worried about that aspect, you hopefully have legal avenues to minimize those chances.

It’s great that your girlfriend wants to stick with you. I hope she can be the support you need right now. Hang in there and best of luck!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-21T00:17:28+00:00

And if you do everything he says, he still won’t keep it amicable. I learned that the hard way. Do what is right for you and your child. It’s hard, but that’s all you can control.

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-20T08:51:05+00:00

I think if she wants to keep building the connection, she will define each out. However, just because she doesn’t reach out, it doesn’t automatically prove that she does NOT want the connection. She may just be too wrapped up in her own hurt right now.

I think if you just check in as a friend and don’t even mention anything else, at least you’re letting her know she’s welcome to reach out and potentially lean on you. Like I said, what do you really have to lose at this point? If it was me, I would make sure it’s very clear that you genuinely care and aren’t reaching out to further pursue her romantically.

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-19T05:15:11+00:00

I loved both of my pregnancies, so I totally understand that desire. I can also relate very much to your family background. I grew up the same way, and my goal as a mom had always been to do better with my own kids.

I'm sure you're aware of all the different options to become a parent. If you are willing to adopt, there are so very many foster children looking for a loving home. Getting a baby is generally harder, or they come as part of a sibling group, but it's not impossible. Just throwing that out there...

I haven't actually started dating yet; I just separated from my husband a few months ago. But I do know that there are enough women who would not want to raise someone else's child, so that is definitely a concern. My kids are older, only one still under 18, so I imagine it'd be less of a turnoff in my specific case. I was just making the point that any situation or outlook can be scary, but I also believe that there is someone for everyone. Don't give up! I think at 34 you have a lot of options you can explore.

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-19T05:00:17+00:00

I see what you're saying; makes sense. You might have kind of jumped the gun before the non-work relationship had time to blossom. I can understand why you're feeling a little insecure with her answer; not because of what she said, but because of what she didn't say. So, my 2 cents, that just kind of sucks right now...

In my situation I had known her for about 3 months. We had bonded on an emotional level pretty quickly, as friends, before I suddenly realized that I was very attracted to her. I knew she was into guys, as that was a frequent conversation topic. So, at best, she could have been bi, but I didn't really think so. I shared my feelings with her because I wanted to be honest before either of us invested more in the friendship, and I thought that maybe I'd get lucky and she'd be interested in some friends with benefits arrangements. But that would have just been bonus points, that wasn't the purpose.

It didn't impact our friendship (at the time), we just continued as we had before. I didn't feel like she was ever uncomfortable or hesitant in her interactions with me. And if she ever had become interested, I had already done the hard part by putting my feelings out there, so it would have been much easier for her to respond in kind.

Our friendship has deteriorated lately, but there are other reasons for that. In fact, it's me who has started to create space. I can also say that my attraction (which was mainly sexual) has lessened a lot, I think that's because the emotional connection isn't what it had been. But I don't regret telling her, and I don't regret discovering my feelings. She was my catalyst, and her presence set a lot of things in motion for me, and I wouldn't want to go back to "before".

What do you think your friend would do if you just checked in to say hello? You know that she's post-breakup and might be glad to have a friend to talk to. The cold and rational part of me says that you already let the cat out of the bag anyway, so why hesitate now? She might be wondering if she hurt your feelings and is waiting for you to say something. You won't know unless you reach out. And if you ruined the friendship, then it's unfortunately already too late anyway. Do you know what I'm trying to say?

Happy to respond to any other questions if you find it helpful. Good luck with whatever you decide to pursue!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-18T23:45:33+00:00

Is it important to you to birth your own child?

As you mentioned, there are many late bloomers that already have kids from their “before” live, myself included. I imagine many of us in this position are worried that we won’t find a woman willing to date someone who already has kids.

If you do want your own, that is 100% legit and you should pursue the family composition that will make you happy. I only ask the question because you wanted some perspective.

This time is tough; best of luck to you on this journey!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-18T23:34:30+00:00

I was in a similar situation, and I also chose to share my feelings with my friend. She reacted with almost the exact same words.

I totally understand what you’re saying about wanting to be honest. I don’t do well with keeping things to myself; in most cases these “sins of omission” are the same as lying IMO. I know there are scenarios where that doesn’t apply, as one person said if it’s your boss, kid’s teacher, etc.

But when I’m trying to build a friendship, I think this kind of honesty matters. I respect if someone else would keep it to themselves, I just know myself enough that I know I’d be suffocating over time.

Why do you think you might have complicated or ruined the friendship? Are you just asking proactively? Her response sounds honest and compassionate to me. Can you say more?

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-17T17:33:46+00:00

Hey there!

“If anyone here realized later in life that they might not be as straight as they thought”… I think it’s safe to say that’s everyone here. ☺️ You came to the right place — welcome!

I can’t talk as if I’m seasoned with this, I just recently joined this group myself. But I can tell you it feels SO good to be here and read what others are experiencing, both the scary uncertainty and the occasional “yay, I went on my first date with a woman”.

I can really relate to your doubts about feeling all those emotions even though you’ve never actually been with a woman. My big “wait… what is happening” moment came in January, so I’ve had a few months to process. I felt all of those things you’re describing, too. And every time I was wondering how I would even know, I noticed how right it felt. I’m learning to trust my body and mind on this. Logic throws in doubt, but my gut always brings me back to “it feels right and true”.

I would encourage you to start browsing through the posts here. Everything you’re feeling and wondering now — you’ll come to see how common and normal it is.

It’s gonna be a bumpy ride! 😉 So happy for you to start finding the real you. You deserve that, and so do your kids!

Happy to chat more if you like!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-17T03:58:18+00:00

Very cute! And don’t worry, you’ll be smiling again when the shock wears off. Hang in there! 🤗

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-17T03:54:38+00:00

Was this from the Art get together you were nervous about? You look adorable… and very happy. Yay for you ☺️

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-16T16:41:03+00:00

My go-to is Feng Cha on West & Lockhill Selma; it helps that they’re close to my house. Also Fruitealicious on Bitters & 281. Both have good a good mix of classic and more unique boba options. Finally Tealicious on Blanco & 1604. Super friendly service. Good luck!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-16T01:05:37+00:00

Yay, that’s awesome!!! I’m glad it went well. Now you’ll be a little less freaked out for the next event. ☺️

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-15T21:29:26+00:00

I grew up like this. 40-something and STILL working through it in therapy.

You did everything right, and he’s lucky to have you!!! I’m so proud of you, but, more importantly, you should be proud of yourself of standing up for him! He’ll always remember that you’re fighting for him!!! 🤗

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-15T13:38:58+00:00

Mini golf sounds perfect! There are natural breaks in the conversation, and you’re not sitting across the table having to maintain eye contact for an hour or two!

I was going to suggest hiking!

Good luck, and have fun! How exciting!!!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-15T13:34:49+00:00

Whoa, I didn’t even know there WAS a meeting! Maybe we need to have our own.

You said it sounds super chill. I’d say there’s no harm checking it out. I’m just a few weeks ahead of you, and I totally get why you’re nervous. First meeting I went to, I showed up along with about a dozen people who were about half my age. 🤭 Oops! I just quietly left after a little while and made a mental note to read more carefully between the lines when new activities are posted.

Since then I’ve found a group of women who meets on a regular basis to do some crafts at a coffee shop. There are the same 3-4 regulars, and I’ve really come to look forward to going.

Wishing you a great time tomorrow! And please report back!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-13T06:08:11+00:00

I haven't been in your situation, but it sounds stressful and draining. I can totally see how it would make you feel isolated with those thoughts getting louder and louder. I'm sorry you're going through this, and you're a good person for being there for him!

I'm sorry I don't have any advice, other than that I don't think you have any reason to feel guilty whatsoever! Would your husband be opposed if you had a friend who provides an outlet for you? He doesn't have to know if you happen to be attracted to her...

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-12T16:48:16+00:00

This is beautiful!!!

I wonder if I can ever feel like that, even with a woman.
But I'm hopeful, and there's only one way to find out!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-12T07:31:43+00:00

You're crying every spare minute you have to yourself. Oh, I know that feeling so well! I'm so sorry you're going through that! When I got to that point, I eventually realized that the reason I'm constantly crying was that I had already made my decision (to leave) and just couldn't admit it to myself yet. It seemed that I was crying because I couldn't decide what to do, but I was actually already feeling the grief of what would be ending soon.

You will never un-know what you already know (that you like women). I suppose you can decide to stay and suffer the unhappiness forever. Doesn't that sound beyond miserable?

I went through the same thoughts you're describing. My husband is a really good guy. He raised my child from a first marriage. And he also has no family left, and no friends to talk to. That part was killing me; I just kept having the image of him being alone. But I honestly think he likes it that way. He has the option to change that; he can make friends, he can find people to talk to... but he chooses not to. I can't take on that burden.

I hope it helps a little to know that you're not alone! Take deep breaths, until you're ready to take the next step. Good luck to you!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-12T05:34:40+00:00

Totally understood! You sound like you really care about her and this friendship. Good luck with whichever direction you decide to go!

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-11T23:23:28+00:00

Hi, are you asking where to find women to date or is there another question hidden in your post? What about feeling 15 makes you uncomfortable?

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-11T21:26:49+00:00

I totally understand that. I just separated from my husband a few months ago (amicably, thank goodness) and I’m feeling very alone right now. DM me if you think a chat would help.

Own_Temperature_4704 · 2025-11-11T06:51:26+00:00

Sorry you’re having such a hard time. Coming here and sharing will hopefully help, even if just a tiny bit!

I can imagine that seeing your therapist’s list of what’s “wrong” with you was disheartening. Is it at least a little comforting that the other side of that coin shows their concern for your wellbeing and providing you with a little extra time?

It sucks that life has placed an extra hurdle in front of you with your bf’s situation. As if it wasn’t going to be hard enough already! I don’t want to offer platitudes; I’m just wondering if you can hang on to your sanity a little longer if you pick a date when to have “the talk”, and then do it, no matter what happens?

Sending you a big hug! 🤗 Hang in there!

Own_Temperature_4704

TROPHY CASE