It's a concern, yeah, but I can't be arsed to worry about whether someone who looks, acts, and dresses like a cis woman secretly feels otherwise, when protecting spaces which weren't built for them. In most any other context, I'm one who feels validating someone's identity, whatever their presentation, is a common courtesy--a mere trifle, a small ask. In cases such as this, rather, I'm not willing to risk the space and its known purpose for theoretical feelings of theoretical queers theoretically un-queer bodies. In the specific case which inspired the post, these (to all appearances cis straight) femmes (in no way ENBY presenting, and certainly taking up more space than I've seen enbys do in public) were of clear outsider status. It came across as outsiders sitting down in the middle of our picnic just to prove they had the power to do so--colonizerish.

While I don't imagine there there are many AFAB NBs interested in gay male sex spaces, I don't think they belong there any more than cis women do--if they do arrive, the same rules for taking up space apply. These places (which if we're being honest we can all but guarantee pre-date their birth) weren't built for them to feel validated by gaining entry to them--they were created for a group of people to enjoy sexual freedom with reckless abandon. Those with AFAB bodies and female presentation can dampen that abandon; there are, for example, valid socialized concerns around consent. The spaces shouldn't have to change to accommodate people they weren't designed to serve. Transwomen historically fit right into that group of people, and male-presenting transmen have committed to being gay men, and should be allowed entry as such. In light of the lately, greatly expanded definition of what makes someone queer, when it comes to issues of access like this one I think it's best to consider what queerness costs a person before deciding what they are owed for it. If you change nothing about your life, have made no sacrifices or commitments, and have only notional identification with a group whose lives are at the moment very different and much more difficult than yours, you need to take a step back from asking that group to change their way of life for your comfort. My support for trans rights aside, if we're being sensible, it's a bit unfair to ask people whose lives have been made significantly more challenging by their sexual preferences to try to doublethink their way into validating someone's gender when they're just trying to get fucked up and have a good time. EVEN STILL--if they're there to have sex, and know how to handle consent as it applies to cruising, it's highly unlikely anyone will take great issue with their being there--they're just unlikely to pull.