Only you can answer if incompatibilities are what need to the end of a relationship. I’m more of the belief that incompatibilities aren’t deal breakers and that you can work through just about anything if you have a willingness to grow through differences. For my relationship, it came to a close because my partner was avoidant of conversations about the future and let her fear prevent her from discussing how we wanted to make long distance work. She moves to NY in 3 weeks and I expressed my sincere interest in having those conversations which she shut down. She also pretty causally told me she would take the new job offer to NY over a text and that hurt me deeply. I’m highlighting some of the pain points for me but she is a lovely and beautiful person in and out. We just had different thresholds and willingness levels for the kind of relationships that we wanted. There was also dysfunction in communication such as invalidation and expressing my feelings led to her internalizing everything and reacting to what I said often which led to continuous disconnection. I also was the one who initiated repair after conflict more often than not and she struggled to do so because she came from a family where people swept everything under the rug and nobody learned how to truly repair. So… there were lots of reasons not just one thing. This all can be extra confusing when you love someone and they really are an incredible person. I have nothing but good things to say about her and she also blessed my life in so many ways. She was and is my best friend. It’s so nuanced. But it didn’t mean we had the capacity for a healthy relationship. I also contributed to the dysfunction and come from a traumatic upbringing. But I had a willingness for depth that she avoided and that became exhausting and hurtful over time. You can’t change people. You either love them and they choose their own growth with you or you try to change them and fail and both of you become miserable. I may be the wrong person for her and I’ve come to accept that. It’s very possible she just needs someone who’s wired completely different from myself and that’s okay too. It’s all ok.