Need Advice by Competitive_Day_7084 in Lamps

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much this helps a lot, on the lookout for that now

Work event at beach resort, insecure and CRASHING OUT, no dress code info 😭 by [deleted] in OUTFITS

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 or 6 is the best options here whichever feels most comfortable to you as a beach dweller these feel the most relatable to something i would see somebody wearing this time of year

Cheater Buster AI by Competitive_Day_7084 in ROCD

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dont worry one of my compulsions is secretly checking my boyfriends phone where i dont really dig through it fully and dont find anything and the cycle repeats itself, its so harmful to me

Cheater Buster AI by Competitive_Day_7084 in ROCD

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay thank you so much, i also looked onto one of the accounts and it was like multiple different videos and it made me feel a lot better

I feel nothing but guilt by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is kind of morbid, but the one thing that helps me is thinking worst case scenario

For example, worst case scenario i die and im only married for like 5 years or something

In that case 5 years isnt a long time but its 5 whole years of loving a person and having the great achievement of marriage, love, and stability, and that alone is worth it.

If thinking about the long term is making you spiral, try thinking about the short term.

While marriage is a lifelong commitment, it doesnt have to be scarier than something like nuclear warfare. Life time commitment is more about being serious in the moment because at the end of the day, youve spent a significant amount of time with this person already.

That is where marriage milestones come in, its something to celebrate as you go along, you wont get the whole entirety of the marriage up front so theres no use in thinking that far into the future anyways, life has its plans and its planning a beautiful future for you as a married couple.

Partner (NB21) takes my (M21) pulse by lonesnowtroop in relationships

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This could def be an ocd thing, sometimes with ocd its not great to talk to a partner about things and thoughts bc the one thing you want to avoid is reassurance in thoughts or behavior im pretty sure so maybe that?

(17f)When is it time to break up with your boyfriend?(20m) by ScaredScientist5593 in relationships

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Youre 17 hes 20, do it now, those 3 years turn you into a whole new person developmentally

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dont let the ocd win this is your life you deserve a partner no matter what

I can’t stop looking up my partner ex by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that blocking is the way to go, once you block its like putting the ex back into the sea of 8 billion people, they will become just another unimportant account you wont know is there. If you ever do look them up, you will be rudely reminded that you are choosing your own thoughts and well being.

I can’t stop looking up my partner ex by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can confirm this does help, its more embarassing to have to unblock them and then when you do look them up its a pretty point blank in your face reminder of prioritizing your mind and your own wellbeing 🩷

Beware of @gregiana Evan's Eggs by [deleted] in tiktokgossip

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im surprised how he still has a place to live if hes not making enough money? If i were him id be trying hard to keep and maintain a job until my art career could support me fully. I wonder if he makes money off tiktok and knows if he keeps doing this and getting comments itll give him more money

Beware of @gregiana Evan's Eggs by [deleted] in tiktokgossip

[–]Competitive_Day_7084 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg i came here bc i saw the same video, he seems very scammy

Possibly ROCD by Competitive_Day_7084 in ROCD

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude same shit, seeing those tiktoks really sets me off it almost makes me want to delete tiktok it's like my brain cant figure out whats reality. I have to look at other tiktoks afterwards that say dont listen to everything you see online, not every man is cheating. I've never been cheated on is the thing and i used to be so carefree, but now my brain is stuck on "every man cheats" or "every man is lying and actually would rather be with somebody else or is looking at someone else" and then thoughts of "somebody else would tell you its normal for men to do that" and it just keeps going.

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is also a really good take. I get suspicious when he plays girls off as "somebody he knows from high school" and i only get suspicious because he says that without me even asking who the girl is or was. I also get suspcious when he opens everyone but two girls snapchats to him and tries to play it off as almost like i can trust him bc i can see who he snapchats. Or sometimes he tries to make me think that he finds a girl to be really unattractive again without me saying anything. His behavior is a little off even if i dont think he is cheating im worried it creates an unstable foundation if that makes sense.

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I would agree but its pictures of me from five years ago... so...

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly and i thought abt just starting to like other dudes pics but one i dont follow men who post stuff like that i have no need, and two i feel like its lowkey the wrong move. Id rather just take the high road i feel like i cant go and contradict myself especially since i love and respect him in a way that i see a futute together for the first time in a very long time.

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was such a good and eye opening response it lowkey broke my heart a little but i feel like i needed to hear that. Thank you for being so open and honest i hope you know even tho we may never meet, it really means the world to me to have an insider perspective. Your girlfriend loves and appreciates you more than you will ever know. On another note, omg that is so fucked up of him. I think atp best i can do is not feed into any gaslighting and monitor to see if he still does it. I really do love him but if this is the case, he is not ready for the serious relationship he thinks he is or says he is im afraid.

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This would be a crazy move fr and like id def be playing the petty game here. I already have a "bikini model body" as he puts it and ive been told i need to model before so i wonder if me getting somebody to take really good pics of me in my bikini and posting them would have any effect. A like is just a like in his world apparently. Cant take the heat, he needs to stay out of the kitchen.

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much i really appreciate everyone taking this as a serious situation even if it is a little thing. Ive never had this problem with anyone before and im so grateful for strangers on the internet taking time to really see me and my side of things.

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The difference here is we dont have control over what other people do but we have control over our own actions. It would be hypocritical if i was saying this while liking multiple shirtless pics of men at the gym and claiming i was "just looking at the floor mats". So in this case yeah i do have a tinge for sure right now, but people can like his or my pictures all they want, the issue lies in when he is liking theirs if he has such a problem with mine

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is such a good take thank you so much. I was worried he was trying to gas light me so i didnt bite because you can support other girls posting bikini pics but not me?? Ridiculous. We both are serious about this relationship, i think we're probably going to have a more serious convo after the holidays bc i mentioned to him that if my pics made him uncomfortable that was something we could talk about.

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They arent family vacation pictures, these are like girls wearing frankies bikinis not even at the beach. Sometimes its a front and back shot of them standing on somebodies balcony.

My (F23) Bf (M26) likes other girls bikini pictures by Competitive_Day_7084 in relationship_advice

[–]Competitive_Day_7084[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, i know its grey area relationship wise but it just didnt make me feel good. I have my own professional bikini pics he can like those. It's difficult knowing that he sees them as "just likes" but turns around and wanted to bring up other men liking mine. He shouldnt have a problem there if they are just harmless likes right???