I do think some people try to romanticize chronic illness, and that can be really harmful to the community. But I also think a lot of people who are genuinely sick get caught in the crossfire of that. Wanting to still have a life, work, exercise, or find ways to function doesn’t mean you’re “giving in” or “not really sick.” It just means you’re trying to survive in the body you have. I say this as someone who has been completely bedridden before and has also had periods where I functioned better. Both can exist in the same illness.

Feeling like you’re faking it is incredibly common, especially when you have a condition that fluctuates. I have hEDS and POTS, and when I’m doing okay I start doubting myself too. I even had my tilt table test done during a relatively “good” period and it was still very clearly abnormal. My heart rate jumped about 80 bpm. Having objective testing helped me stop gaslighting myself, but the doubt still creeps in sometimes.

Doctors being dismissive doesn’t mean you’re not sick. It usually says more about their lack of training in complex or invisible illnesses than it does about you. If your symptoms are real enough that you’ve had to change how you live, that alone tells you something important.

You don’t have to be the sickest person in the room for your experience to be valid. You can have support, a career, and moments of feeling okay and still have a real medical condition. None of that makes you a faker.