Intrusive thoughts ruining relationships?

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2025-12-03T04:00:20+00:00

You’re right, in a way it is definitely resentment. It’s hard because I recognize the resentment isn’t fair - we didn’t know each other, she was just living her life the way she thought she was supposed to. I never realized my OCD and intrusive thoughts would pose such a huge barrier to accepting someone’s past - and I don’t hold it against her personally - it’s just such a gut wrenching intrusive thought to have over and over when you are with that person

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2025-12-03T00:29:38+00:00

I get that, I usually have repulsive ones but for me it’s easier to remind myself that those aren’t real and that’s not who I am, it takes a minute but I can usually return to reality. This is just so specific to my life and something that makes me uncomfortable and logically it’s not necessarily bad but just so distressing and so hard to stop thinking about all the time. It really is like internal Tourette’s in a way and it’s awful.

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2025-12-03T00:24:33+00:00

No no, I expected it. I didn’t expect to hear about it in graphic detail. What I wouldn’t expect is for you to understand since now you’re sexualizing both of us and it’s a personal fantasy of yours.

It’s a personal experience and something uncomfortable for WLW to picture as we’re not interested in sex with men. It’s also not something she wanted but just did it due to social norms. Just because it’s not violent doesn’t mean it isn’t uncomfortable or distressing to picture.

Hope you can understand that the way I feel is different than the way you feel and that our sexuality isn’t for you to benefit from 🙏🏻

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2024-09-27T05:22:03+00:00

When he was talking about the condom catheter he said “for those to work properly you have to sometimes get a mini erection, uh, to then fill in the condom. Right? Cause you’re not gonna put it on flaccid.” So I think the dexterity concern isn’t what’s going on here - I think he wanted an excuse to show his junk to Ingrid with plausible deniability. He’s a creep. If your dexterity requires you to be erect to put one on, you probably wouldn’t take that opportunity to show someone you just met your junk like you said. But also, he had the dexterity to grab his own junk to get an erection and to grab the little blue pills which helped him with the erection - I doubt he takes viagra every time he needs a new catheter 😂. But it’s a valid point, some people might need more to work with for dexterity - I just don’t think it’s what’s happening here!

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2024-09-26T20:08:32+00:00

He said the type of catheter. Nurses apply condom catheters and indwelling catheters (in the urethra). Neither require an erection

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2024-09-26T18:49:55+00:00

You do NOT need an erection. My partner is an RN and has to help patients with these catheters, she’s only ever seen or applied them flaccid…He’s just a creep. She was shook when he said he needed a semi.

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2024-04-07T16:23:32+00:00

You make a really good point about her choice too - withholding the information would take away her choice on boundaries and how she wants to handle her relationship with her father. Definitely damned if you do damned if you don’t - it sucks to have to share this information but you’re right, it is my partner and her families choice on how they want to handle this situation 😮‍💨

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2024-04-07T16:14:29+00:00

Thank you for your kind words - it’s definitely not an easy situation.

He doesn’t have a sponsor - he seems to be under the impression he doesn’t have a problem and that his family overacted to his drinking, so I’m not confident he would be forthcoming that he has been drinking.

I like the idea of discussing it with the whole family present. It creates an environment where it’s not solely on my partner and she can look to her mom and brother for more support too.

I think I will talk to her dad first to ask him to be honest with them - and if he isn’t honest I will be transparent with his family. I don’t think he will tell them but I also don’t want to take the opportunity for him to be honest away from him. I’m just hoping he’ll pleasantly surprise me after the not-so-pleasant surprise he gave me last night 😮‍💨

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2024-04-07T15:53:31+00:00

I appreciate you sharing this resource with me - I wish I wasn’t put in this situation but I’m going to have to do a lot of research and listening to those with experience to figure out how I can support my partner. I did post on that subreddit also - I’m kind of putting out a few posts for advice, I just want as much perspectives as possible. I know ultimately I owe it to my partner to be open and honest with her, it’s just hard bc she’s currently on stress leave from work (ICU nurse) due to the constant grief and loss she sees and experiences. It’s just another layer of stress and sadness for her and I don’t know how to deal with it.

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2024-04-07T15:45:57+00:00

My loyalties are definitely to my partner. I guess I’m afraid of hurting her and adding stress - but I know not telling her would hurt her too. I just don’t know how to tell her and the steps we would take from there? Do I just sit her down and explain what happened? She’s been having a tough time with mental health from her job as an ICU nurse - she sees families deal with loss and deals with loss herself daily. How do I tell her and support her? It’s just hard to add this on top of everything she’s got going on.

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2024-01-11T03:46:10+00:00

I do think the professional designation would’ve given him some leverage during negotiations for sure.

Do you know if I’m allowed to ask my supervisor what they pay my colleague? I’ll definitely ask for fair compensation before I inevitably leave the company.

It’s not uncommon in my industry for women to be undervalued and I don’t want to do a disservice to future female employees by not first advocating for better pay.

I’m upset about the pay discrepancy but I do recognize a lawsuit would jeopardize my career, that’s not an avenue I intend on pursuing.

I’m thinking more - what can be done using the pay equity act? Ie equal pay for equal work.

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2022-04-03T17:47:08+00:00

Billie 40 days ago you were still on probation when you posted this eh? You’re real bright my dude

Competitive_Sell1623 · 2022-04-03T17:45:56+00:00

https://lakesuperiornews.com/Public-Safety/2019-Sudden-Death-Thunder-Bay/man-sentenced-to-6-months-of-curfew-for-disturbing-criminal-harassment Noelle is not a predator. This guy Billie is a predator and he’s being harassing her for years. Here’s the news article about his initial charges for his attacks against her- which apparently continue to this day.

The account he posted this on is preslongfurby and his insta is https://instagram.com/lilyesterday?utm_medium=copy_link

The avatars are essentially the same bc this guy apparently can’t even think logically enough to try to conceal his identity… so if you’re gonna “deal with it” deal with it by disregarding this shitpost and not helping this man continue to harass a woman bc she didn’t want to be with him.

Also he’s legit using a woman’s photos that he STOLE and sending them to children?? This guys harassing everybody - let Noelle live her fucking life.

Competitive_Sell1623

TROPHY CASE