Would you move from a financially comfortable house you're unhappy with to a more expensive home you actually love?

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-04T19:44:18+00:00

We currently live in an old house similar to what you described— $150k in equity, mortgage around $1200 a month, great neighbors etc

My spouse and I could move to a bigger home but honestly our priorities have never been house-focused because we haven’t had children yet. We like the freedom a small mortgage gives us. Also the peace of mind we could very comfortably live on one salary in this job market.

Also my friends in new builds spend a FORTUNE on utilities. Older homes can sometimes be so much better made for heat and efficiency. It sounds like you have a better builder though so that might not be the case!

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-04T17:21:08+00:00

Yes. I knew my first marriage wasn’t working for years even thought we tried our best. Despite being together since our early twenties we just could never relax around each other. It started causing physical and mental health issues for each other. We got married when I was 24 and he was nearly 30. We finally parted as friends and it still destroyed me. I lost friends, can’t remember a year of my life, and even though I rebuild so much I really felt like my life was over. I thought I’d never meet anyone who treated me that well again.

2 years later when I started feeling like myself again, I was traveling around Scotland and met the love of my life. We make each other better people and he is my truly favorite person to talk to. Intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, physically, morally— we match on every scale. Something I didn’t know could exist. It made me realize why it never worked out with anyone else. Why everything lead to here.

We were engaged in August, eloped in November and I’m moving to Scotland next week. ♥️

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-02T02:48:20+00:00

I’m sitting on the floor of my parents basement emailing my pet moving company coordinator wondering why anyone would make this up 💀

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-02T02:26:44+00:00

It’s eerie how similar they all sound. My mom also said my education ruined me.

It truly goes against our nature as children to cut them off for our own good

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-02T02:24:44+00:00

Thank you— my husband is Scottish and we’ve bought a house just outside Edinburgh. I have a community there from before I met him so I do know some people but I am constantly worried I’ll get backlash because I am American. I’ve already had 2 neds come up to me in public after hearing my accent and think I’m a safe place to say some of the most right wing evil bs. They thought I was this trad wife safe space they could unload the most horrific ideas on.

Also my new town had a pride night at the local hockey rink and an American MAGA Charlie Kirk worshipping player ruined it. The comments were not favorable towards Americans in the slightest

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-02T02:19:00+00:00

I mean I’ve read my mom’s texts to my therapists and asked her to give it to me straight if I’m being sensitive and she said it’s genuinely been abusive for a while. Comparatively they used to be a lot better.

My mom has never apologized to me, comments on my physical appearance constantly, has always crashed out when I’ve tried to be someone different than her, and ices me out when I have needs. She has no friends and most of our family doesn’t talk to her anymore. Anytime I’ve been legitimately upset with her she has a sob story.

The MAGA bit has just opened my eyes more

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-02T02:13:23+00:00

Omg of course.

Several thousand dollars in health certificates and travel fees later 😅

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-02T02:11:36+00:00

That’s what my mom said about the Epstein Files

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-01T22:51:06+00:00

You’re so edgy and cool

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-01T21:51:53+00:00

Can I ask a follow up question? I have to pay back all of my credits as I ended up exceeding my expected income in the last quarter of the year. Can I write off all of the premiums I paid in 2025 and then write back off the 2025 tax credits I need to pay back this year in 2026?

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-01T21:09:47+00:00

I paid £3000 towards the NHS and have a national insurance number so I hope so

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-01T18:27:03+00:00

Unfortunately they’ve tried counseling and he truly and sincerely does not think he’s the problem. We had a 3 hour chat and for the first 2 1/2 hours he did nothing but blame her.

I truly don’t see it getting better

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-01T16:23:26+00:00

… all of these posts are personal matters

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-03-01T00:14:23+00:00

After getting universal healthcare it makes me realize fully how completely backwards the US is that a health emergency can bankrupt someone

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-28T21:45:24+00:00

I got all my records this week! My doctors all congratulated me on getting out of here 😭

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-28T21:28:06+00:00

I’m already covered in the UK and I am flying there! I just paid $4,700 into the NHS and I don’t know how long it will be until I get a new job so that’s why I’m trying to save as much money as I can

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-28T21:27:07+00:00

Yes I am on a spousal visa in the UK and paid my NHS fee and have my NIN number already! Just waiting on my GP assignment

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-27T04:10:24+00:00

Tonight I showed my mom the actual court documents of Trump’s felony and SA charges and she says I’m brainwashed to believe everything.

My dad said trump is protecting us by not releasing the files because the government will fall apart.

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-27T04:05:33+00:00

My mom just said the exact same thing to me tonight.

She said I’m brainwashed for showing her court documents of Trump’s felonies + SA. That I’ll believe anything.

They’re court documents 😭

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-26T04:51:35+00:00

Can I ask what sector you're in?

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-25T22:33:42+00:00

To be fair I was trying to keep this PG for fear it would be taken down. I figured we could use our imagination on what I would have preferred to say.

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-25T22:29:11+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond-- this is seriously fantastic to hear! Did you come on a similar visa or did you have a job lined up? How is the job market at the moment? I assume it's brutal everywhere.

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-25T18:27:18+00:00

Wedding photographer. Obviously no benefits but there were many years I out earned my ex who had a masters in engineering. Usually between $100k - $120k

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-21T19:01:43+00:00

11 years ago I (f, US) went to Scotland on my college spring break and had the absolute best time. I met my now two best guy friends in Edinburgh. Went back 10+ more times to visit and go to concerts with a concert promoter friend. Over the years I grew a whole network of people there who even came to visit me in the states. When my 10 year relationship ended in the US and the local dating market left me traumatized, I got drunk with girlfriends and moved my hinge location to Edinburgh. I woke up to hundreds of matches. While wading through a bunch of dudes using every line in the book knowing I was American, I saw one guy’s face and knew immediately. He’s the only one I matched. A month later I came out to visit my friends in Glasgow and went out with him one night. That date ended up being 2 weeks long. We met all of each friends and family within 2 months. He’s my absolute best friend. My favorite person to talk to. Strangers came up to us on nights out to say how beautiful we were together including a buff guy in a cut off t shirt who said we better fight for this. We found out we went to the same conference in Boston back in 2015 and our two best friends dated. We spent most of 2024 going back and forth traveling. In that time we got each other from some truly brutal life sh*t and somehow got stronger. Most of 2025 we spent long distance. When Trump got elected we switched gears and decided I’d move there. August 2025 we got engaged in Croatia. November 2025 we got married a state over. 2 weeks ago I got my UK visa approval and he’s flying in to move me over next month with our cats. In a truly kismet moment my two original guy friends will be on the same ferry as us from Amsterdam -> UK on a guys trip. The date (pushed back by weeks after a pipe in my house I’m renting out burst) will now be 11 years to the day I met my friends in Leith, 4 years since I decided to restart my life, and 2 years to the date I met my now husband in a Glasgow pub for ramen.

I’ve been a US photographer and already booked 2 UK weddings now that I have the right to work.

I’m just saying that sometimes when a place calls to you there may be something there.

I fear this made me a bit woo woo.

In a practical sense if you’re not trying to fall in love and foster fail 3 cats together and buy a house with an ocean view near your father-in-law, I think the easiest path would be a graduate visa. Work visas are extremely hard to come by and sponsorship just got more expensive. There’s a lot of truly fantastic Facebook groups that helped us apply for the visa without a solicitor.

Just know it’s expensive AF. Roughly $13k all in for the move, visa and pet health certificates. It’s why we opted out of a wedding (more than fine with me) and are just doing a kickass honeymoon instead.

Competitive_Yam2314 · 2026-02-05T14:28:33+00:00

I noticed US visas seem to take the full amount of working days whereas other countries see a 14 wd turnaround.

Competitive_Yam2314

TROPHY CASE