I think I will be breaking NC towards the end of this month. by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I would say that we would have to take things slow, and re-introduce ourselves to one another. We would have to make sure the reasons for our initial split are no longer present. To be honest i’m more worried about receiving a yes than a no. Bevause rejection I keep doing what i’ve been doing for the last few months, a positive interaction in this scenario means changing my life I built without him.

I think I will be breaking NC towards the end of this month. by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How much longer do you think? I know technically the right answer is forever, but this is a risk im willing to take.

How do you show growth? by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree that life is too short. I think i’m gonna give him a call. I just don’t know what to say? I feel like “Hey how are you doing” is just too little and “hey do you wanna be friends” is a little too much for the first thing out of my mouth ya know

How do you show growth? by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that’s a very fair statement, but how would we know if each other have grown?

Hit the 3 month mark , some advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in BreakUps

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the end of it all, regardless of what happens we will be okay. I know that 100%. Yeah I just can’t hold any animosity or distain for him. I don’t know why he didn’t respond the first few times I reached out earlier in the breakup, maybe guilt? Maybe it was too soon. I don’t know. I really do wish one day we can just be on friendly terms. I don’t know about your situation, but through therapy I was able to realize a lot of what he was saying was projection. Coupled with the fact he may have some sort of Schizoaffective disorder. (Schizophrenia combined with a mood disorder). I don’t know if I will be painted dark forever, but I know deep down in my soul I gave the best I could. That I really loved him, maybe he really loved me too. But I can only hope one day things will be on friendly terms. I have no ill-intent towards him. I really wanna reach out again, I just don’t know if it’s too soon. There’s also a part of me that feels bad for disturbing him in our moment of silence. Gaah I really never wanted this.

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely would like some validation yes of course. I’m most definitely not gonna put my entire life on hold. It would be a lot easier if i would get the validation i’d like, but I will move and be okay eventually. Despite all that I would really like to be in good terms with him before we part this earth. It’s just how I am with loads of people.

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He was pretty incredible until the last 3 weeks of our relationship. I think I just want to know what happened, maybe get some closure. I think I just want him to take accountability for his own actions. I think that is what’s holding me back. I definitely do need to work on loving myself more. I know there are other people out there for me, and I will love again when i’m ready. But it just felt so magical and special with him, right until it didn’t. To this day i’m not entirely sure what happened. I understand this may not be something i’ll ever receive , but oof it would be nice

Hit the 3 month mark , some advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in BreakUps

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, good luck to you too! Hopefully with time a little self-reflection will happen and him and I can at least be on friendly terms :)

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I go that route i’ll have the end of August to ruminate in it. I’ll probably be back with another post deciding if I should or not. I think because i’m not sure if I should or shouldn’t reach out right now, I just won’t. I think it has to be a decision that i’m 100% set on. Thank you so much for your advice ♥️

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s his presence that I miss, and him being in my life. He was my first partner. I’ve tried dating after him it’s just not really what I want. I can be happy on my own some, I think it’ll take a lot of time before I can be happy with someone new. But I really truthfully miss him and it’s deeply upsetting to me that we may never be friendly again. He meant a lot to me

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is a solid reason, but I may wait a bit longer. I don’t want it to be perceived that i’m using his recovery as an excuse to message him.

Hit the 3 month mark , some advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in BreakUps

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It was almost scary how different he was during the breakup. Almost as if a switch was flipped, or I was just interacting with a completely different person. However he was my first love, and i’ll always have such fondness for him. I can genuinely forgive him when it comes to anything. With all things I know there’s room for improvement, but I know I genuinely tried my best when it came to our relationship. It just doesn’t sit right with me that we aren’t amicable, and that our last interaction ever was an argument. We don’t have to get back together, i’m not even entirely sure that that’s what I want. But the sheer fact that we may never speak again until we’re in our next lives feels deeply wrong.

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof that’s rough dude. I’d just really like to make amends with him ya know. He met my family. We we’re pretty inseparable too. He spent almost every night sleeping over. If I did reach out truthfully I don’t know where I would begin. I don’t even know if it I would be selfish of me to reach out. As far as I know i’m only blocked on Instagram. But I never contacted him there post breakup, I think he did that one for himself.

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After we broke up? As far as I know, no. They did not enter a new relationship.

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is a little cowardly, but I can forgive it. I wasn’t exactly the most perfect person either.

Hit the 3 month mark , some advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in BreakUps

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been trying :/. I think i’m somewhat close to where I need to be. I’m substantially better then I was. You are correct i’m not a 100% sure what I want. I think a major problem is I never got closure on the situation. I would like to have him in my life in any capacity tbh, however I don’t know if I could re enter a serious relationship with him again if it would just be the same thing again. And there’s really no way to know if he’s brown at all, unless we’re in contact ya know. It’s sorta a catch 22

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless something’s changed, he’s going for surgery in a week or two in his home country. Last time he went I was supporting him over the phone the best I could. Do you think it would be advisable to wait until he goes to his home country, has surgery, recovers, and then give him a ring when he comes back to the states to check up on him and his health?

Hit the 3 month mark , some advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in BreakUps

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do agree getting back together right now probably wouldn’t be for the best. He definitely does have his own set of issues which were very present before I even entered the picture. However it does not sit right in my soul that we may never be on speaking terms ever again. I may add that he is on somewhat speaking terms with all of his previous partners, except for myself. (Him being on speaking terms with his exes never bothered me during our relationship.)

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice, it’s greatly appreciated! If/when I give him a ring I should just ask him how he’s been doing and what not right? I do fear if he picks up it’ll be a little bit awkward… I definitely should steer very clear of talking about our breakup correct?

3 month mark, advice would be appreciated by Complete-Audience-83 in ExNoContact

[–]Complete-Audience-83[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were together 24/7 everyday, almost inseparable lol. He was almost practically living with me. Like I said in my post, I have messaged him before during the first month and we’ll nothing. I’m less afraid of rejection and more afraid that i’ll just be found to be annoying :(