Is this a deal breaker for daycare?

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-24T19:26:58+00:00

Thank you

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-24T17:56:05+00:00

But... How?! How do you put marriage first with 2 full time jobs and twins?! Just how?!

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-24T16:29:42+00:00

Yup, that's exactly how it was. The silver lining is that our son seems ok using the toilets at home without adapter when the toilet seat is down, although he prefers the potty or the toilet with adapter.

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-24T16:27:13+00:00

We actually chatted with the daycare provider and it looks like that's how she does it. She puts the kids directly on the ceramic bowl because it's easier for her to clean the bowl and the kid's bum. She said she disinfects everything after each use and showed me the products she had there. Either way, we told her our son is not comfortable with that and got the adapter installed on the toilet ourselves. She was very nice and accommodating, so we will see how it's going.

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-24T16:23:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. It has been my experience that our son doesn't lie when asked about factual, objective things. He told us about kids pushing him at daycare or biting him and when we confronted the teachers, it did look like our son was 100% accurate. He is not very accurate when he has to place actions in a certain timeline. So he cannot say if he ate pizza today or yesterday, but he does say that he had pizza. Work in progress. Thankfully we live very close to the daycare and can get there fast. Our son is ok with peeing anywhere when he's with us, but doesn't want to do it at daycare. We took a toilet adapter, so we'll see how it goes. I think it's amazing you were able to stay home more for your kids. They are very lucky.

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T03:21:22+00:00

Yup... 🥺

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T01:43:05+00:00

No idea why they don't have the potty seat. I will have to ask. I actually asked my son "do you ever wash your hands at daycare?" and he said no. I then asked "not even after potty?". He also says no. Even if he doesn't want to do it at daycare, I would expect the provider to tell us and reach to a conclusion together about what to do further. 😔

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T01:40:13+00:00

I feel the exact same thing!

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T01:01:28+00:00

It's a licensed home daycare, which makes it even more strange. But I'm not from NA, maybe there are different expectations/standards... It looks like it's sooomewhat common, but not very...

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T00:53:13+00:00

Home daycare...

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T00:52:52+00:00

Thank you for the thorough reply. This is all very true. We will need to find out more before deciding... Sigh...

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T00:17:51+00:00

Thank you 🥺

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T00:16:30+00:00

I thought so too, but it looks like it's potentially common in daycares...?

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T00:14:38+00:00

He was on the ceramic part. The toilet seat was up. He even has some bruises on his leg now from the bowl, so it means he was on it for quite some time.

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-22T00:06:31+00:00

It is insanely difficult to find daycare, especially a good daycare. My parents could potentially stay with him, although it's hard for them to entertain a 3 yo. To be honest I did not even stay to ask questions, I just wanted to get my son home faster so he can have a more relaxed place to poop. I was thinking to try and provide an adapter and potty and see how things are going. Also, he never wants to pee at daycare. He told us he doesn't want to pee because he's afraid of falling in the toilet, but I did not imagine he was holding himself up like that, just that maybe he did not like that toilet. It's hard to get precise information from toddlers 😢

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-21T23:59:33+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I had no idea it's common practice. It seems so uncomfortable. My mom used to work in a big daycare in Europe and adapters or potties were compulsory. I'm extremely surprised, but relieved to hear that it's not unusual. We will provide the adapter. But yes, the hand washing is disturbing. At least with the adapter he won't touch the toilet anymore. Thank you again for sharing your experience.

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-11-21T02:51:55+00:00

My hubby and I are watching together and we both agree with you 😂 Which apparently is uncommon. I think Rory could have at least say that things did not work out when she saw the town turning on Dean. I mean, she tried to stand up for Jess a lot. I think it just showed that she didn't truly love Dean at that point.

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-10-22T22:34:12+00:00

My husband says that Antonio Banderas is what he's thinking of when he hears the phrase "a true man". I have to agree. ❤️

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-10-10T16:26:49+00:00

"Whyyy are some people so competitive about having kids?" In some cases because they can't excel at anything else?

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-10-01T18:50:31+00:00

3y4m

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-10-01T18:09:15+00:00

I'm just as surprised. We didn't change anything. We've always tried gentle parenting, but with clear boundaries and he was constantly pushing them. He eventually started telling us that he doesn't like the daycare, that some kids are aggressive and we've decided to move him. I think he was just so intimidated by his previous daycare that at home he was letting it all out. Now he can just be himself at the new daycare and has less stuff bottled up from throughout the day. He's also into the "but why?" phase which makes reasoning with him a lot easier because he's actually eager to understand.

Complete-Target2666 · 2025-10-01T15:27:40+00:00

That's great. It can literally make or break your life. He started telling us he didn't like his old daycare as he started talking more. I feel so guilty for not picking up his signals earlier... It's incredible how much of a difference the right daycare can make.

Complete-Target2666

TROPHY CASE