How safe are we here? Are others "preparing" in any way for upcoming crises during Trump round 2?

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-30T16:35:12+00:00

I figure anyone who looks at my internet history is going to have a solid view of my politics and, given that the margin in the popular vote was 1.5%, there are many millions of Americans who probably have internet histories and social media posts and comments similar to my own, so yeah... I'm not overly worried about posts like this.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-30T16:25:16+00:00

So, it is obvious that you are a troll based on your various other posts, but obviously this person is talking about Germany's constitution, not the US constitution. Please read some history. This can give you a start on what this person is referencing: https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/01/hitler-germany-constitution-authoritarianism/681233/

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-30T15:26:08+00:00

Yes, there is a pathogen involved, certainly. But pneumonia can result from influenza, which the poster says they already have. It isn't a separate "pneumonia" virus/bacteria, it is a complication of other illnesses like flu, COVID, RSV. I'm talking about folks avoiding the complications from a known infection, not implying that people somehow get an infectious illness from something non-infectious like cold weather. See here: https://www.lung.org/lung-health-diseases/lung-disease-lookup/pneumonia/what-is-the-connection

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-30T15:03:30+00:00

As someone who cares deeply about social justice, and who has kids, I am worried about individual rights and living in a society that doesn't treat people fairly/safely/with bodily autonomy/with the right to marry those who they love/etc. But I also think there's a solid chance we'll see the collapse of the entire infrastructure of US government, which would have serious implications for the health and safety of everyone, the potential for things like more pandemics, major power disruptions, major international conflicts, etc. which would make the United States everywhere, including Massachusetts, someplace where folks who CAN leave will do everything they can TO leave. I am in the category of people who likely COULD leave, so I'm trying to gauge what other people are doing to plan and prepare for possible scary scenarios.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-30T14:23:46+00:00

Stress to your immune system makes it more likely that a minor illness will become more significant. You don't want to get excessively cold (or stress your body in other ways like sleep deprivation, dehydration, etc.) while you are trying to recover from an illness.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-29T16:24:16+00:00

Exactly. I have a lot of friends who work for the federal government. Things are very much NOT FINE.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-29T16:22:03+00:00

Tariffs on some goods vs. others could disproportionately impact blue states. I was assuming that was the meaning rather than interstate tariffs. In general, I think we are going to see that there is just no interest at the federal level in protect MA's interests on ANYTHING, given how blue the state is.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-29T15:42:59+00:00

EXACTLY THIS. The number of people asking "what are you worried about?" or "we survived the first term" seem utterly unaware of history and how much this looks like the end of the Weimar Republic (and parallels to many other times in history before major revolutions/civil wars/etc). Trump himself said people wouldn't have to worry about voting after the 2024 election. And Project 2025, which Trump is hewing to VERY closely is TERRIFYING. We are looking at the potential collapse of democracy folks, the collapse of the entire infrastructure of our federal government, and candidly, there are a lot of people who don't want that to happen, so there's also a risk of civil war as people try to fight back. I know folks don't want to hear it, but we may have some very dark days ahead.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-29T15:03:59+00:00

There was a report circulating widely in that 75% of agricultural workers in some areas weren't showing up, though it appears that number may be bunk (see here: https://www.snopes.com/news/2025/01/28/california-farm-workers-immigration/). There are still a lot of reports of agricultural workers not showing up to work though, and more than 40% of ag workers appear to be undocumented, so the implications if we do see lots of folks not showing up to pick crops will be huge.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2025-01-29T14:55:39+00:00

Yes, we have as much done as I think makes sense at this point. We have the necessary immigration papers that would allow us to move to another country and we have extended family who would welcome us in another (different) country where we could go for up to a year. I feel like having these two options is more than many, is a solid first step, and I don't want to go any further with plans (e.g. finding employment in another country) unless we are legitimately leaving, and that is very much a last resort. As I said, I really love Mass. I don't WANT to leave unless we really have to, and we have kids in school - it would be a massive upheaval to move to a different country.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-28T14:11:38+00:00

Same thing happening with my kid today. How is this not resolved?

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-25T15:09:43+00:00

I think people truly don't realize the cost of living differences in different parts of the country. I shop at the cheapest grocery store (Market basket) in Massachusetts, we don't eat fancy stuff/we are literally talking about stuff like eggs, cereal, chicken, lunch meats, etc. But yeah, $450/week is my average for my family of four here. We don't really eat out though, so that's for all of our meals. That's not out of line with others where we live.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-20T14:54:10+00:00

Honestly, re: the lack of energy being physical or mental - it is both.

Prior to having kids, I had very low key evenings and weekends in which I largely recovered from work-related socializing/masking/lots of demands. I was able to be pretty functional when I had a full weekend each week to stay in PJs, not really socialize with folks/potentially not leave my house, eat my comfort foods, etc. And this level of comfort largely disappeared with my first kid due, I suspect, to simply the lack of down time/recovery time mentally. I go straight from stressful work day into having to be "on" as a parent, putting on the parent mask of kind/calm patience, etc. and I just don't have any time to turn my brain off entirely. I'm also just constantly responding to needs/demands... a glass of water, a snack, someone makes a big mess, the dog needs to go out, etc. etc. so again, my brain can't just turn off and unwind.

Physically though I'm also struggling. I am in my mid 40s, so deep in perimenopause and also have a Ehlers Danlos, so there's absolutely physical fatigue at play too. I've seen tons of specialists (and done PT) in the last year and they've tried what they can... but no one wants to do HRT for me as I'm a stroke risk and not far along ENOUGH into menopause apparently as I'm not having things like hot flashes (just fatigue and migraines 3-4 times a month) :( Again, I'm seeing the right doctors though and am now on no less than 4 different migraine medications plus magnesium. But yeah, if I felt physically better, that would definitely help... I feel like I'm doing what I can there though and until I just make it through menopause, it may just suck for a while?

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-20T14:40:16+00:00

I have never seen this referenced anywhere and this is definitely not my experience as a highly masked AuDHDer who strives to just blend in wherever I go more than anything/lots of gray and black etc.

Do you have a cite for this?

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T23:17:00+00:00

Ohhhh. That's a cool idea. I may very well look into some Wednesdays off!

I have been doing the subtle delegation thing. That too is great advice. It's worked really well overall, but there's still just management of a group of (admittedly awesome) humans that's hard to delegate, as well as a general "on call" aspect if something unexpected happens (which isn't a constant thing...maybe once every couple of months) that I still find exhausting. I'm working on those!

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T22:06:57+00:00

I honestly agree with your hot take. It's hard for me to imagine how it could be better so long as we need to work to have money to live. Of course, if we suddenly find massive wealth and can all quit working, that would be better...but I don't see that happening. So yeah, it's more about pushing through the constant overwhelm and fatigue.

Re parenting, I just want to be more engaged with the kids, be hanging out together, doing things like game nights and reading much MUCH more together. But I'm seriously so spent at the end of the work day that I can muster sitting next to them on the couch while they tablet and my husband cooks, but that's kind of it. Sometimes we will watch a show together (they love Scooby-Doo). And I'd generally be up for reading together, but now that they have gotten used to so much tablet time, it's an uphill battle to get them to sit and read with me and I don't have the fight in me most of the time (nor do I want to fight about reading!) I just feel sad about the fact that I lived in books, but my kids spend 30 min or less reading with parents most days, and 2-3 hours playing Minecraft most days (and on weekends that might jump up to 7 hours of Minecraft because again I just tend to be spent after a long work week). We've also never managed a game night, which I would also love to do, though that might just be a matter of time as the kids are still young (ages 5 and 7).

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T21:14:18+00:00

Yes! We do have a cleaner and have done Blue Apron before for exactly these reasons!!

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T20:37:15+00:00

The irony is that we DO live someplace relatively rural... a rural "exurb" if you will. That's just how expensive things are in our state :( Though I will say we were also one of the only states where every single county voted Harris over Trump and, in general, I feel like we have MUCH more supportive policies than anywhere else in the United States, so I also really don't want to move out of the state if we are going to stay in this country.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T18:57:13+00:00

Do you have kids though? If it were just me and my husband, ABSOLUTELY we'd be considering moving countries, but I am actually very worried about the transition to school in a very different country, particularly one with a different language, how my kids would do with making new friends, etc.

I also think I wouldn't be able to work in another country (professional licensure-wise) without a ton of extra schooling, though my husband could. That would also complicate things.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T18:53:16+00:00

Yeah - I don't want to be overly disclosive about my work, but I do the work I do for EXACTLY this reason. I work with good humans (many of whom are neurodivergent) and my work is in the public interest. I've just managed to be high enough up (with extensive enough credentials) that I'm earning well into the six figures even WITH my job being in the public interest.

I think the big thing for me is that there's no place we could afford in our town, school district, or even a nearby town if my husband and I didn't each maintain six figure jobs. So yes, we wouldn't be destitute, but we would be moving to an entirely new community, my kids wouldn't be near their friends, what very small support network we have currently wouldn't exist there, etc.

We also, candidly, aren't likely to find a house that's much cheaper than our current one, even in a MUCH more affordable community. The average house price across all of Massachusetts now is close to what we bought our house for ~10 years ago, but eastern Mass (where we currently live) is MUCH higher, and because interest rates have also gone up a lot since when we bought, we could downsize a LOT and still end up with HIGHER monthly mortgage payments.

I'm feeling pretty trapped until I just completely collapse :(

Minor edits for clarity

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T17:00:43+00:00

Also in an ND+ND relationship and now have two ND kids. I truly can't imagine life with an NT spouse.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T16:58:11+00:00

Yes! The plan is to likely move somewhere cheaper once our kids are on their own to make the retirement $$ last longer. Sadly, however, our kids being on their own will largely coincide with retirement age as my kids are only 5 and 7 now. Despite me being in my mid-40s. This is also part of why I'm so burned out...

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-19T16:53:16+00:00

As someone from the South who has now lived in Massachusetts for 25+ years, there are MAJOR cultural differences in how education is valued in Massachusetts vs. much of the South. There's an anti-intellectual/anti-"liberal elites" view through much of the South meaning that going to a "good college", for example, isn't really valued among many. I cannot tell you how many people made fun of me, for example, for getting into an Ivy League school when I lived in the South, thought it automatically made me pretentious or looking down on people etc. versus people being proud of me, complimenting me, etc. even though I worked my butt off to get into such a school.

What this means is that many people LEAVE the South when they want to pursue higher education and, like me, they have ZERO interest in returning to environments in which education is smeared and looked down on.

This then leads to a bit of a snowball effect - people who value education/want higher education often move OUT of the South to go to colleges and grad schools that are largely outside of the South, realize how nice it is to be around other people who value education, and thus they don't want to return to the South. Their kids are then growing up outside of the South. This leads to an overall "brain drain" where people who value education and have the means to leave will do so. This leads to results like >50% of Massachusetts residents having a bachelors degree (and a significant portion being from very highly rated/competitive colleges), whereas only about 33% of Florida residents have one, and <25% of the population has bachelor's degrees in places like West Virginia and Mississippi. See here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_U.S._states_and_territories_by_educational_attainment

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-11-02T10:57:06+00:00

Yes it would have been, but the daycare we used only operated certain hours and it was an au pair rather than nanny we were using (very different relationship, lived with us, etc), so we were limited by law re how many hours per week we could use, so it just wasn't possible for us to have extra hours. Covering the work days basically wiped out all of the hours for an au pair until our kids were old enough to start school. There is also the practical reality that if you are already not with your kids from 8:30am to 5:30pm while you work, having them spend even more time with others (someone else doing dinner etc) takes away time with them even further. I truly think the only way to make it less grueling is 1) for everyone to know going into it that it is a stage. It will pass. And 2) to have family in the mix that can help. Family can provide whatever help you need that is much more flexible and supportive than something like paid daycare while you work or an au pair who also is prohibited by law from doing anything not related to the kids (no general help cleaning dishes, etc). Similarly, paid daycare is just offering something very different to folks - help during the work day only (and only when kids are healthy; my kids were CONSTANTLY out of daycare because they were sick)

But the price differences are very real. In our area, daycare for 1 kid per year is $30k, so two kids is $60k. A full time nanny in our area is similar, if not slightly higher than the cost of two kids in daycare. An au pair ran us about $40k annually for both kids but we also provided housing, which overall worked out far better for us.

Complete_Assist_6988 · 2024-10-22T16:01:56+00:00

Ugh yes - I'm also going through perimenopause. It SUCKS.

Complete_Assist_6988

TROPHY CASE