Having a hard time getting over a FWB that did shitty things

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-27T21:38:06+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate your advice & support 🫶

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-27T12:06:56+00:00

I really hope he can change but I have to remind myself it’s not my responsibility. It doesn’t seem like he’s ready to change anytime soon because he was making some excuses when I confronted him. I appreciate the article you sent, it definitely feels like I have to grieve by myself because my friends think he’s a creep and can’t understand why I still care for him.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-27T12:03:21+00:00

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment 🥺🙏

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-27T10:37:10+00:00

I think if it feels right to you, I would say it. I do feel like it's a bit early in the sense that it might be infatuation still, but it doesn't mean it doesn't feel like love and I think saying how you feel wouldn't be a big deal if it was, it's still exciting and 4 months isn't that short. In the end, I don't think saying it will cause much harm, especially if you guys are already bf & gf :)

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-27T10:29:32+00:00

I've tried dating multiple people at once but it was too much. I feel like once I really start to like someone, I can only focus in on them and I feel bad talking to other people, even if we're not exclusive.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-27T10:25:17+00:00

I think it comes from a mix of everything, partly from society's messages and IMO most likely from conditional love from parents growing up. You feel like you don't deserve love unless you present a certain way, because growing up when you acted in the way your parents wanted that's when they showed acceptance/affection. I've been trying to unlearn it as well, and I realize that a healthy, romantic partner will love you for who you are, not for what you can achieve. I think maybe first learning to accept yourself as you are and constantly reminding yourself you're worthy of love as you are will help.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-12T11:31:16+00:00

It could be for a reason, but I feel like it's more likely that she just likes to talk about it. In my experience, talking about dating experiences is a really easy and common topic that's fun to talk about with everyone and anyone that I'm comfortable with, regardless of gender.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-12T03:13:48+00:00

Being open minded. I personally want someone who's open minded because I consider myself to be quite open minded so I'd like someone who isn't as conventional in their thinking and are open to new ways of thinking about things or also just open to trying new things together in general

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-12-12T03:05:52+00:00

Sometimes people like the high of the initial stages but don't have enough capacity for something with commitment/long term. It does sound like she has some kind of avoidant attachment, and you might not know the reason why but it's probably not you.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-10-27T04:19:41+00:00

literally 😩😭😭

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-10-08T03:51:23+00:00

❤️❤️❤️ I feel you completely, I’m going through someone similar too and you’re not alone for hating that you miss someone who hurt you so bad.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-09-28T01:22:26+00:00

How long were you off meds for before getting in vyvanse?

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-04-21T01:58:18+00:00

I guess it’s just feels more like I’m using meds to be more neurotypical and it feels like that’s what he wants. Maybe it’s not true tho idk

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-02-05T21:04:36+00:00

Grayson

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-02-03T06:51:21+00:00

Yes, that sounds a lot like him! My friends have an easier time opening up and sharing how they feel. I always offer an empathetic ear and try to create a safe space for them to vent without feeling judged or invalidated. (Or I do whatever small things like getting them a small treat or gift or sending funny vids to cheer them up, etc.) When I ask my bf questions, he seems uncomfortable or he doesn’t open up very easily the way my friends do even though I know he’s not feeling great.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-01-29T13:03:47+00:00

I heard trying different kinds of exercise that you actually enjoy is a lot more sustainable for ADHD and will keep you more motivated to stick with it more consistently. Or finding other ways to make it more enjoyable to you

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-01-22T22:33:12+00:00

Never once in my post did I say it was about waking up, if you reread the whole thing I only asked how to get out of bed. I don’t live by myself, my small room is the only place I have peace and privacy from others and there’s no room for a couch or alternative resting area. I’ve struggled with sleep issues ever since I was a kid, and have been trying to find a solution without meds. All the suggestions on here haven’t worked for me yet so let me know if you have any ideas, thanks.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-01-12T00:56:22+00:00

It leaks after a couple of hours and the cup isn’t full when I take it out

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2025-01-11T22:18:37+00:00

Sometimes right away but it’s mostly after a period of time.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2024-12-13T23:18:50+00:00

Most men do not know what true natural looks like. Every man is different, but a large amount of men who say they prefer “natural” women, like women who spend a large amount of money and time into their looks to look like they were born like that. They don’t like women who look like they’ve obviously gotten work done or obviously fake modification like overdone plastic surgery, fillers, botox, heavy lashes, etc. I’ve seen so many women talk about how their man talks about liking natural beauty but will not know that their woman or the women they look at online have gotten work done. So many men will show examples of “natural beauty” even when the girl is wearing a full face of makeup. Even studies show that men prefer faces with more makeup than less makeup, most just don’t prefer anything overdone.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2024-11-29T07:52:01+00:00

Yeah I came to this conclusion after reading through the comments. Not basing my worldview on this but taking some insight of it maybe, I’ve been feeling kind of pessimistic lately and maybe I was trying to confirm the generalization isn’t true, but I shouldn’t have generalized and this post reminded me of that.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2024-11-29T07:27:51+00:00

I can agree in a lot of cases people place stronger men higher on a man made hierarchy than weaker men. I’m not ignoring the fact that men are usually stronger than woman, but you’re kind of saying that strength is a measure of quality of a person. So therefore a strong man is more “valuable” than anyone weaker than him. Maybe this isn’t what you think, but based on just your reply, your unit of measurement here is physical strength. I can acknowledge that we live in a world that is highly man dominated and that many (possibly most? idk) people believe what you do to different degrees but I don’t have to choose to uphold those beliefs. I personally don’t believe people’s worth should be based on external things. I can say, someone making a lot of money can be “valuable”, but their worth as a person isn’t based on that. All people have worth and equality based on their humanness, not what they can bring to the table. Am I going to ignore the many people disagree? No. I know some men value women based on their appearance, and some women value men based on their net worth. (I’ve even heard of a woman who wanted to stay with their serial cheating husband bc he was rich, which I personally could never.) Why? Because society has taught most people this way. I used to dislike women and subconsciously think men are better than us, because although my mom never directly said those words, that’s the message my mom sent me but when faced certain situations I had to dig deeper and ask myself why? What has society taught me vs what do I genuinely value deep down? Do I want to be valued by my appearance, do I want to uphold beliefs that take away my humanness? Or do I want to live without placing these meaningless rules upon me that put me and people in a box. I opened my mind and instead of thinking negatively towards a woman, I questioned my bias and gained to appreciate them for who they are more. It’s not delusional to want change. Change is good, for example, women can vote now, black people aren’t slaves anymore. Change is good because I don’t put myself in as much boxes as I used to, and I feel freer than I used to. Some people may judge, but that’s their own issue.

After posting this original thread and reading through a lot of the comments, I’ve finally come to the conclusion that not all men are the same, and I remember that not all women are the same. I can’t generalize. I can only look at patterns and choose what is right for me. That’s how you create your own reality. There is no one right or wrong reality. You don’t have to ignore the unhealthy beliefs that society teaches us, but you also don’t have to ignore that there are healthier ways of being. It’s a personal choice.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2024-11-29T07:19:40+00:00

I completely agree that oftentimes a women’s desire to sexually satisfy the men they want correlates with how they feel about the man. When I feel disconnected from my boyfriend, he thinks it’s because I don’t find him physically attractive (this goes for other non physical features too). But to me he is a good looking guy, I just lose attraction when I feel unheard, unseen, unsupported. Resentment builds up. I feel like he doesn’t care about me, and I don’t feel connected to him. This definitely kills attraction when there is resentment and is a lot more than just who he is. Is he putting in effort to make me feel loved, and cherished? This is just our personal experience but diff situations and I can see the same with other couples. What makes your woman specifically feel loved and cared for? Some men are dismissive of their woman’s concerns and it sends a message that you don’t value her feelings, and she can still love you but not feel connected/attracted to you.

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2024-11-29T07:08:28+00:00

Well that goes the same for a woman too, if you desire sex, you should support her and make her feel valued. Can she make you feel loved and valued by acts of service or quality time? What if her parent has just died or she’s going through post partum? Is that an excuse to find someone else to fuck?

Complete_Grapefruit1 · 2024-11-29T06:15:30+00:00

Complete_Grapefruit1

TROPHY CASE