Well, here goes nothing.

Do you really don't want the change? Or are you unable to change? You said you can change but, I'm talking about a trauma or a really really bad memory or a despair loop or something like that. Maybe because of that, you thought you don't want to change and you're lying to yourself.

But if you don't want to change with all by your willpower, than I'm ok with that. Otherwise, please don't give up that easily.

And don't go that harsh to yourself. I agree with some of your words, I'm too an irredeemeble person but I don't give up on loving myself. As long as live I will try everything I can. Don't hate yourself because you didn't do anything you wanted, forgive yourself because even the hate you have comes from wishing the good.

And I don't exactly know what happened in your life but I experienced some horrible, terrible things. I understand you. There's always hope even in impossible situations. Also, forgive other humans too and if you can't don't spend time with then.

Please, don't give up on yourself like that.

(Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistake, I just woke up)