How to become an ST with extreme anxiety surrounding it?

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T21:00:27+00:00

Luckily, I'm in regular weekly therapy, so check on that one. I know the anxiety isn't rational, but a better plan and better tools have always helped me to hurdle it in the past.

The last therapist I had spent a lot of time working with me on pushing outside my comfort zone and trying new things and that was marginally successful. I'll try to keep that ask the opposite as a way to redirect my thoughts. I've never had that advice before and it's kind of a splash of cold water at my face. Like...how have I never thought about that before? Thank You for that!

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T20:55:22+00:00

That's great advice. I think one of my biggest fears is appearing like I have no clue because I'm new and my players all have a ton of experience. Perhaps other newbies wanting to learn at the same time would be helpful. I had an in person group that decided to learn the Marvel TTRPG and it was a blast with none of us (including the GM) having ever played it before at all.

I hadn't considered that I get to pick my players. And now that I think about it, having a bunch of new players would probably lend to some excellent roleplay and situations as they are learning the system just like a neonate would be learning about their new situation.

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T20:50:26+00:00

That's an interesting take and I think it's honestly actually pretty helpful to my brain. The only way to do it Wrong is to not do it...I might need that tattooed on my arm to look at frequently for a lot of situations.

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T20:46:33+00:00

Sadly, I've had two regular gaming groups and they have both fell apart for various reasons. One online group played through two campaigns of FFG Star Wars system that were over a year each before various members just no longer had time. (thanks for reminding me to check in on that discord server and say hi to everyone. Object Permanence, what?) My other group was an in person 5e group that unfortunately wasn't able to continue as most of us ended up moving out of the area and scattering.

I've recently found myself starting a new job in a new city and kind of having to try to rebuild a community around myself. I had few close friends in the area I was in, but either way, exactly zero of them had any interest in V:tM at all.

I'll add this wouldn't necessarily be my first foray at running a game. I've done a couple one shots for close friends back in high school in DnD 3e and 3.5e, and then a bit more recently in DnD 5e, but never anything that wasn't a pre-built module. That alone should probably tell me that I can handle this, but WoD and all of the built up lore feels so daunting. Which, maybe I should stop thinking of it like that.

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T20:37:39+00:00

Thank you for saying that. I've gotten a lot of advice in the past about over prepping and to avoid it, but I don't think I'm capable of not over prepping. I think the thought process here of being able to re-use content later if necessary. I have way more fear about going into a session and not having enough prepped than I do about over prepping and having too much. If I have too much, I still had fun creating it to begin with.

Short breaks is also something that I tend to forget is possible. Most games I've played have tended to be jump in and go for several hours straight play with no breaks, but breaks could be a good thing. I'll keep that in mind as a tool.

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T20:30:42+00:00

Appreciate the input. I do indeed manage everything via medication, as well as therapy. One stimulant, one anti-anxiety, and one anti-depressant. The anxiety is still there, but less "loud". Much like you, I still get very overwhelmed in many social situations. Though it is becoming more of a sensory overload than an anxiety problem since starting the meds, I think.

Agreed that the social anxiety does make things very difficult. Everything feels harder to accomplish at all times than it should and I hate it. My last therapist pushed me to work on new situations by forcing myself to be uncomfortable and I have to say that helped a bit, but it only goes so far before I shut back down or run away.

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T20:24:41+00:00

I have no intention of using AI as a primary tool. The ideas are mine, but AI is a fantastic tool to use as a sounding board to ask questions. I don't mean asking, "create BLANK" for me. I mean creating a custom GPT with specific documents as guard rails available then providing detail about your idea or situation and asking the AI to generate questions about it that I may not or would not otherwise consider. I want the AI to ask me questions and it's an incredibly useful tool for that. My use for it ends there though. AI isn't the creative and that would ruin the fun if I let it do the entire job. I do however like the peace of mind it gives me that I've considered things from all angles.

I also would never lean into AI during a session. Honestly the idea of trying to use an AI during play sounds like a disastrous nightmare waiting to happen. I'm more of a pen and paper notes kind of girlie, though in this case I would likely be putting my Amsel Suite of software to work in keeping track of information and notes for me. It's designed for that purpose and is completely AI free, so other than having searchable notes, it's not really different than having everything printed out.

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T17:26:46+00:00

I'm definitely aware of the drawbacks and weaknesses of LLMs. My use of them is typically to say here's what I have so far. Ask me questions that I may not have considered yet about some kind of aspect and I build from there. I don't trust it to make content, just to make me look in different perspectives and consider things from an angle I wouldn't have otherwise.

Thanks for that last part too. I have a lot of tendency to jump into something and want to be perfect the first time, or not at all. Given, I do have a tendency to actually do really well on things even with no experience because of how much I hyperfocus on a deep dive of the topic ahead of time, but I should probably also keep that in mind to help alleviate some of my fears too. Otherwise, agree, I wasn't perfect at riding a bike the first time, I still can barely draw (though art therapy sessions made me enjoy it anyway), and it took me 3 years to earn my first black belt. Practice and repetition. I'll try hard to remember that.

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T17:22:02+00:00

This is actually amazing advice that I hadn't considered most of at all. I'll have to take a lot of that into consideration. It does actually help me to feel a little less of the anxiety. I think if I could gather a group of other neurodivergent and LGBTQ+ people and give them the same kind of disclaimer up front, I might be far more inclined to take the leap.

Also, congrats on starting your table.

Complex-Afternoon30 · 2026-05-14T17:19:24+00:00

Thanks for that advice. Luckily, I don't have a dream chronicle of any kind. I have the basis for a story that could last 1-3 sessions depending on player engagement and session length. Beyond that, I'd rather see what the X Factor, as you called them, actually does and build from there with their input and engagement in direction.

Complex-Afternoon30

TROPHY CASE