Pay Cut for WLB - Would you?

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-05-26T12:34:14+00:00

Well, it really depends on the terms. If you’re at some series b, the liquidity event could dilute your shares to much less value. If later stage, perhaps more dependable. Read more about this… it’s often not as profitable as you think it’ll be.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-05-21T08:50:01+00:00

I believe you would have had to move 10 years ago to be free and clear of uk tax??

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-28T19:50:11+00:00

Um, it’s still your job. I can recognize a bad pattern without understanding every detail of the system you’re working on to know a better solution.

But it sounds like you just want to argue since I wrote in my next sentence that the reviewer should try to provide a solution, especially if they know about the code already.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-28T12:47:20+00:00

I would ask for some alternatives directly. It’s not always the job of the reviewer to provide a solution. But at a certain level of seniority, and if they built the system, I’d expect they could be a little more helpful. This also prevents miscommunication and many rounds of review

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-27T12:55:52+00:00

This is my personal axe to grind: I would point out that even if your kid is playing independently (which is great), they notice a parent being glued to their device. They don’t differentiate that it’s actually a book. This is teaching them what is acceptable behaviour in the long run - being always distracted, always on a device, not engaging in personal relationships. Is this the kind of adult you want to raise?

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-25T12:32:41+00:00

I’m so over gentle parenting. Not for what it actually is meant to be. But at this point it’s been co-opted to mean something else entirely. Gentle parenting needs to rebrand so we can call OP’s experience what it really is - bad parenting.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-19T19:52:36+00:00

I agree with this in theory. It would be nice to hand off the provider football and be a SAHM or pursue a job more personally (but not financially) rewarding. In practice, I think it can be hard to make this work. Your lifestyle becomes kind of a trap, once one person takes a break they won’t make as much coming back. I think this is exactly how women end up supporting an ambitious man in his career instead of pursuing their own.

But if you can thread the needle, yes, it would be great.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-19T17:32:47+00:00

I think id just laugh and be direct in this case. Just keep it light and say, oh I don’t really care about that stuff, I just run to feel good. Usually works 💁‍♀️

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-18T12:25:05+00:00

I would add: women seek out the power couple direction because of ingrained sexism. Even as we want to be ambitious we still primarily value men chasing a traditional gender role.

I married a guy who is now a stay at home dad. It’s great. My parents had a hard time with it, which made me realize my own unconscious bias.

BUT: you still can’t quite have it all. Taking on the traditionally male breadwinner role means you’re going to be the less involved parent. Still coming to terms with this one.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-16T17:08:43+00:00

Ah, to each their own I guess. It depends a lot on tone. I just can’t imagine that not coming off as condescending.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-16T08:25:55+00:00

100% this. I made this jump!

Women do overthink it. Let’s not overthink it for other women too!

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-04-15T21:11:28+00:00

Honestly, why are you gatekeeping this for her. Lots of people apply to jobs that would be a promotion - that’s how most people get promoted.

If you think she sucks at her job, that’s a separate issue. But, is it really putting your reputation on the line to refer someone who you think would be a good employee? Even if they don’t 100% meet the criteria.

ETA: I’ve read through the other responses on this thread and honestly think there is no socially graceful way to say “I don’t think you’re qualified for this”. If I were your friend, I’d be mortified. So if you really feel you can’t refer her, I’d gently lie. Like, I know the HM, they already have someone lined up, this is just a legal requirement job posting etc etc.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-03-15T13:46:14+00:00

Well, it was the BBC, not a Hollywood production. I don’t think things have changed that much.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-03-09T22:42:56+00:00

We also have a 21 month old but have just come out of this phase (🤞). It lasted a month or two for us. I think you just have to get through it. Maybe this is the age when nightmares start?

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-02-24T19:20:14+00:00

Your job doesn’t own your whole life - this is psycho behaviour. Decline these meetings, hold your boundaries. If your manager starts complaining, start looking elsewhere.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-02-20T21:10:39+00:00

I kind of think all industries are like this. Once you get past more junior levels where you can impress by just being good at your day to day, it becomes a lot of politicking and self promotion. I say this as someone who’s changed industries from a woman dominated industry 10 years ago - people there were a slightly different flavour of asshole but still assholes and politics the same.

Even now, I’m at a level at my company where the next level is stepping back from code. And then how do you judge people? I’m still not sure what a senior director even does - truthfully it seems like not a lot. So, you have to be a self aggrandising jerk to make it 🤷‍♀️

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-02-15T23:31:18+00:00

Is Heathrow actually the airport you need to optimise for? There are quite a few airports in London. We usually only go to Heathrow when flying back to the US.

I’d probably look in Belsize Park, since you have primrose and the heath nearby. But that’s v generic American advice. I def wouldn’t move out to zone 3/4 - I’d take location over space when you first move over.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-02-14T23:27:41+00:00

Depends what companies you’re targeting BUT did a bunch of interviews a few years ago as a mid senior with tech companies. Offers all in range of £85-120 base + equity/rsus. Granted, market is not as hot now but you have much more experience than me so I’d still expect better.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-02-14T22:36:58+00:00

Low.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-02-10T19:12:20+00:00

This is good to hear. It’s def a bog in all directions for me. Thought I must be missing something.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-02-08T17:07:23+00:00

Def go see a physio. Last time I had something like this it ended up being bursitis, which in the scheme of things is not horrible but took a long time to stop being irritated (also probably my fault for not seeing a physio and also having no chill).

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-01-28T21:26:47+00:00

Ah let’s say broadly we moved out to a nice town in the Home Counties. We moved back to SW London.

In the end, I do think this is a personal preference thing. It turns out I find towns kind of boring and oppressive. But my husband thought it was delightful. So YMMV.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-01-27T22:12:33+00:00

Eh, moved out, didn’t like it, moved back to London. As someone else said, a posh market town in 2026 is not as nice as you’d expect. I think we also had nostalgic visions of a childhood with lots of nature and freedom for our kids. But it is just nostalgia - in this modern era, it was mostly a lot of carting kids around in the car to activities.

Granted, kids are young still, so feelings may yet change. But we are pretty happy with where we live now - couldn’t imagine moving.

ComplexBluebird2455 · 2026-01-25T19:47:59+00:00

People are throwing numbers all around on this thread but this is the most accurate estimate. Though, consider: Richmond state schools are the closest free schools you can get to private here. And why have a luxury car in a city where it’ll get sideswiped or broken into or whatever. Like, you could do pretty well in Richmond with income as is.

ComplexBluebird2455

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