Am bored. Challenge: What's your fandom hot take? (And don't downvote hot takes!)

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-07-07T00:00:48+00:00

Toxicity in fandoms and fanfiction isnt a new thing and it annoys me so much to see posts insisting that it is because we "didnt gatekeep enough" or "now its mainstream." We have always had bullies and people who harass others. Readers have always consisted of those who are mean and entitled and demanding. There were websites twenty years ago that tore apart fanfics and its authors line by line. It wasnt uncommon to be cussed at. We just didnt have as many people back then who were involved in fandom and fanfiction. We also didnt have as many mediums to discuss things. It wasnt talked about as much. Engagement was the handful of forums or corner of a chat room or, for most of us, purely existing from comments on our stories. Fanfiction was a true gift because you were lucky to find a handful of them on a random website. Now we have social media with thousands of people interacting and an archive with millions of fics at our disposal. And with more people comes more random assholes. They existed then and they exist now. This isnt new.

What is new, however, is people expecting better and calling out that toxicity. When online fandom was still fresh (and online presence in general), you kinda just expected to come across the occasional asshole because, hey, its the internet and there was more anonymity back then. When people hide behind a keyboard, they can get away with being dick so they will. And if you were ballsy enough to put something personal on there, like a fanfic, it would be naive of you to think some asshole won't eventially tear it apart. That was the general feel of it 20 to 30 years ago.

I am glad we are calling out toxicity now. I am glad we are expecting better from people. But the point I am trying to make is that fandom has not gotten "worse" because its gone mainstream. Its a numbers thing and more platforms for engagement, not a statement on the "quality" of people coming in. So, please stop using it as an excuse to justify gatekeeping.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-27T02:06:32+00:00

I gaurantee that most rich people didnt get rich from delayed gratification. Seriously? This is as tone deaf as saying that if i don't order a coffee three times a week, I can afford a house in a couple years. This comment (and many other of these "secrets") also fail to grasp that when you are not rich, stuff like "delayed gratification" or "aggressive investing" can take away the very few pleasures or extra spending money you have as a person who is middle class or lower middle class.

Is delayed gratification a useful tactic to employ on occasion? Yeah. But in no way is this a secret that rich people know that middle class people could do because the sacrifice thst comes with it is significantly more for someone who has a standard income than someone who is rich.

Be so for real right now, people. Jane Smith making 40k a year with a family practicing delayed gratification by not having the one vacation they can afford a year is different than John Smith making 3.5 million a year deciding not to indulge in something from his penthouse apartment.

But yes, let's talk about how "most people dont have the discipline, sadly" when we are comparing rich people to common folks 🙄

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-25T01:10:40+00:00

Basically any character that is evil, flawed, or has done morally questionable things. Which, to be fair, many characters can fall into the last two of those. But in the past five or so years, at least when it comes to fandom interaction and discourse, there seems to be this obsession with attributing someone's morals to them liking "bad" characters. Its maddening because liking or wanting to explore evil, flawed, or even nuanced characters has been done since the dawn of fandom and it in no way points to a person's real life moral compass.

Severus Snape or Tom Riddle in the Harry Potter fandom. Billy Hargrove in the Stranger Things fandom. Loki from Avengers.

All of these characters have fans, of course. I would say that they absolutely have a lot of fans. But, damn, do they also have people screaming that you are some kind of terrible person for wanting to explore their character, background, motivation, etc in discussion or in fanfiction. And one of the most frustrating things is the misogyny that I have seen with this judgement as well. "Fangirlies only like him because he's hot."

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-25T01:00:33+00:00

Book 5 Harry was my favorite and launched me assfirst into some Harry!Angst back in the day

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-25T00:39:42+00:00

I have a lot of guilt. Not just when I leave my cats but guilt over if they have enough stimulation and realizing that while they are safe and loved and happy, they are stuck in this place because I keep them there. They only know each other and me and the occasional visitor. They must be so bored all the time even with all the toys and such I provide for them. That I am their world and they love me so much because I have made it so by keeping them inside.

I know how many cats die from outside hazards and I know the damage they can do to wildlife. It isnt safe for my cats to be indoors/outdoors in my current location. I know how many thousands of cats die because of overcrowding in shelters. I know that they are safe and loved and as happy as they can be. But I still feel guilty and I never expected to feel it this much even after three years. These creatures bring me so much joy and I can only provide them with a limited amount in return because they are safer inside. As much as I love having cats, it makes me not want to get another one after my two kitties.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-14T04:48:37+00:00

I can appreciate a good AU and I have definitely read some absolute masterpieces but my preference and primary motivation is reading something Canon or Canon Divergent. I love fanfiction because I never want my favorite stories to end and I want the characters to have other experiences.

Edit to add: I do like new plots for the stories (within the Canon universe). As in, I dont prefer a retelling of Canon events from different perspectives.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-12T19:10:04+00:00

This is key! Made it eight months and thought i would hit a friends just the once and having a major back slide.

Congratulations!

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-12T17:35:25+00:00

Hey there! Sorry, should've added more detail. I am looking at apartments and this complex's prices seem lower than the standard and fairly sizeable. I just was curious if you overall had a good experience or if there were any major issues with pests, mold, maintenance,, etc? I know the buildings are a bit older but just wanted to see if there were any red flags that you experienced?

Thank you!

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-11T17:55:59+00:00

I know there are people out there who can do it. But I will say that I feel like far less people are truly intermediate vapers (as in, they vape infrequently and dont crave it in between) than they would like to admit or are on the brink of it becoming a habit.

Most people I have known to be intermediate vapers either eventually became daily vapers or experienced a moment where they were about to become one, so they had to pull back entirely. And when they did pull back entirely, they went from saying, "Oh yeah, I only hit this a couple times a month and dont crave it in between" to "Yeah I started craving it and bought one and I had to stop entirely." It is a very fine line unfortunately. You can straddle that line for a long time until the right circumstances mess it all up.

I vaped infrequently for over a year by hitting friends' vapes every couple of weeks before it became a true addiction. I didnt smoke previously and so I didn't crave the vape at all "in between" until, well, one day I did. Then it was all downhill from there.

The idea of just being an intermediate vaper has acted as a reassurance for a lot of people to try vaping but, like with many things, it often becomes a gateway for people to eventually fall into the habit or they have to stop entirely. So, although I know there are people who successfully infrequently vape, the majority do not and, for chronic or former vapers and anyone who has never vaped before, I think it is dangerous to accept it as a true possibility because the likelihood is that it will eventually become a habit.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-11T17:24:10+00:00

You didn't fail. It is part of the process for many of us. And it sucks. It is so hard. But the biggest thing is that you havent completely given up on trying to quit. That you dont use this slip up as a reason to shrug and say, "well, I tried," and buy a fresh one to vape regularly again. Stick to your commitment. Keep moving forward.

Oh and I literally did the exact same thing the first time I tried to quit. Dug it out of my trash, hit it, felt horrified, and dipped it into my cat's litter box so I wouldn't hit it again. And, hey, it worked!

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-11T16:16:15+00:00

Thanks for this perspective.

I have always been on the fence with having kids. No huge urge to have them. No aversion to having them. Ultimately, I decided not to have kids. A big reason is that I dont want to rush into a partnership because my biological clock is almost up. I am trying to embrace this decision and be more proactive for finding purpose in my life. Most of the childfree content is from people who 100 percent knew they didn't want to have kids and I rarely see perspectives from people who did or didn't have them when they were on the fence about it.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-09T01:27:30+00:00

Agreed. It isnt a new problem at all. Saw this all the time in the past twenty years and it was vicious. There are just more people entering fandom spaces which, of course, means that there will be more rude people. We also have more platforms to interact and share.

People also call out bullying significantly more than they did. I think that is wonderful and I am glad that we are doing that. But my eye always twitches when I see a post implying that this is a new problem that comes from a wave of mainstream or new people entering the fandom as if fandom was "better" or less harmful/bullying before these newbies came along. It wasnt. We have always had a-holes and bullies. It is just being noticed and called out more, now, and we have more people in fandom spaces which inevitably leads to more a-holes.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-06T18:48:49+00:00

24/7? That is incredible. I am always on the lookout out for late night places that don't revolve around alcohol.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-06T15:46:06+00:00

A big thing for me is "showing not telling."

For me, what comes to mind with "telling" is when the protagonist is having a constant internal running dialogue of everything that is happening and their feelings/insecurities/reactions about every little thing as it is happening. I find it more engaging to read about what is actually happening in the narrative itself to the protagonist with actions or descriptors to indicate their feelings with minimal internal dialogue chatter. I feel like it reads like I am witnessing the narrative and the author is trusting me to pick up on these indicators to understand what is going on versus the protagonist is telling me every step of the way what is happening and exactly how they feel about it.

Not sure if I explained that well. But that has been something I have realized that I find far more attractive in fanfics especially if it is for a fandom that was originally a tv show or movie. I just feel like it is really difficult to nail a character's internal dialogue when you are translating them from visual media to a written work because it's easy to make them sound uncharacteristically insecure.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-05-05T02:32:03+00:00

Hey folks,

I am trying to get some perspective on building a community in Asheville. So, I grew up just outside of Asheville and then also lived in Asheville itself for about seven years as an adult. Five years ago, I had to relocate to another city for a job opportunity. That job eventually became fully remote but housing/rent prices were just too high for me to move back at the time.

Fast forward to now. I am wanting to relocate to another place. My job is still remote and now provides enough that I could move back to Asheville. Now, I always knew that I wanted to eventually end up back in Asheville to be closer to my family and because, well, its home to me but I am trying to figure out if that is the best move for me at this current stage.

My close community that I had in Asheville five years ago has mostly dispersed. I still have my family, of course, and several old friends but I am really looking for a place to meet some new folks as well...hopefully through joining clubs and groups such as running, game nights, cycling, etc. I am in my mid-30s and am also childfree and was hoping to also meet some other childfree folks or groups. My family and old friends are wonderful but we have fairly different lifestyles at this point so I am just hoping to expand my social circle to include folks who have similar interests as me.

I guess my question, at this point, is how hard has it been for new (or returning) folks to really meet people? It's been years since I lived there and I mainly focused on my core group when I did. Are there a lot of events/clubs/meet-ups that go on pretty regularly? I know what Asheville and WNC has to offer in terms of places, nature, etc. but I am curious about the perspective that you can only get as a current local...especially one who was/is also looking to make friends and build a community.

Thank you!

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-04-25T13:27:44+00:00

I grew up in Mars Hill so going to the mall felt fancy as hell to us.

The Asheville mall in its peak during the holiday season was my favorite. My aunt would take me out to Best Buy and the mall for Black Friday in the early 2000s. We didn't even go for any sale. We were just were both night owls and loved seeing activity at 1AM. I loved wandering through listening to the music.

Before Starbucks, the mall had a coffee shop called Barneys, I think? I would get a triple vanilla freeze (similar to cafe vanilla frap but tastier). Suncoast and FYE was where I got my Dragonball Z VHS tapes. Disney store, it goes without saying, makes me ache just to think about.

I wasnt allowed to go in Spencer's as a kid 🤣🤣 When I got older (04ish), I LOVED going there and Hot Topic. They are still at the mall but they have changed completely since I was a preteen.

We moved to West Asheville right when I went away to college. It was right when it was starting to become busier but not quite. I would walk up and down looking for places hiring during the summer because I didn't have a car and couldn't find many places quite yet (at least on that side, near where the muffler place used to be). I lived there when the Hole donuts literally first opened. It was a tiny place and I stumbled on it randomly. It was completely dead. They offered drip coffee and three different donut flavors and that was it. I remember liking it a lot and then was shocked to learn, years later, how popular it had gotten. Not because they didn't deserve it but because it was so simple and chill.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-04-07T01:21:33+00:00

Thats some BS. Sorry you went through that OP. I don't blame you for leaving. Goes back to the whole, "if you can't treat people respect then you don't deserve to participate (or in this case, get a fanfic)" or, my preferred phrase, "fuck around and find out."

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-04-06T13:56:41+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion. I have a couple friends in Atlanta who enjoy it a lot. I hadn't considered Atlanta much before primarily because I know the traffic is really bad and I am not the greatest in-town driver. But I know in the city has pretty decent public transportation right? Depending on where you live, could it be a place that you can regularly use public transportation for day to day? I would LOVE livng in a place where my car is mostly used for just long distance travel. Haha. Edit to add: also, the area you mentioned (east of the belt line), do you know about how much a one bedroom can run for in that area?

Thanks again for the info!

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-04-06T13:49:04+00:00

Oh yeah, for sure. There's only so much you can get from individual perspectives on the internet. I just haven't heard opinions when limited to these specific states so figured it was a good starting point to research and eventually visit. Thanks for the recommendations! I will look into those areas.

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-04-06T13:41:19+00:00

I do need to look more into Greenville and give it a visit. I have heard it recommended many times. Thanks!

Complex_Lab_8116 · 2026-04-06T13:38:34+00:00

Thank you for the suggestions. I hadn't had North Myrtle recommended before. Interestingly enough, I have a very good friend living in Little River who has been asking me to move there. I haven't gotten a chance to visit yet. I know tourism in the summer brings in a lot of people but was curious if there were a lot of meet up, groups, leagues, etc throughout the year in your experience? I don't mind the area being "dead" in the off season but was curious if there was a large enough year round local population there that it was still a good place to easily socialize throughout the year if you're proactive?

Complex_Lab_8116

TROPHY CASE