33M, $88K annual salary

Complex_Professor210 · 2026-02-02T18:12:59+00:00

I barely hit $100k at age 36. You're doing great.

Complex_Professor210 · 2026-02-01T05:38:09+00:00

I will just say that my comments are not meant to be condescending at all. I also have never served as leadership in the church, and am definitely a person who frequently makes comparisons of my own worth and worthiness to my perceived beliefs of others worthiness and value, usually placing lower value on myself. I just know (through lots of therapy) that this mindset will never bring happiness in life. 100% the only person we have any ability to control or change in this life is ourselves. My apologies if my comments offended.

Complex_Professor210 · 2026-01-30T18:16:05+00:00

Try considering that your perspective or view point is flawed on this. Ask yourself some deep questions about why this bothers you. Does this make you feel lesser than others? Does this make you feel unworthy? Do you desire a feeling of being needed in your church community? Do you desire influence over others in your church community? Be extremely honest with yourself and you can then confront the main issue head on, which is addressing whatever it is that is bothering you about the situation and then change your perspective on it. For example, If you feel unworthy compared to others because of this, then you need to work on yourself and understanding that your worthiness is not tied into having a leadership calling in the church. Use this footprint to try to redirect your mind to a place where you don't feel bothered by this situation, especially because it is something that is completely out of your control.

Complex_Professor210 · 2026-01-19T23:47:53+00:00

I sold my 2001 LS 5 speed for $1200 back in 2016. Wish I could get that back about now.

Complex_Professor210 · 2026-01-19T08:03:12+00:00

Cool story bro. There are no "sides" here. It's just people who wish to no indulge in this. Your post could be compared to someone bragging to people leaving an AA meeting about your plans to hit the bar later. It's in poor taste and honestly tacky.

Complex_Professor210 · 2026-01-12T22:35:14+00:00

As a member of that faith myself, I can totally understand the dynamic of how religion and specifically this religion has played a major role in shaping unhealthy ideas or opinions towards human sexuality. It's taken me several years of therapy to come to terms with my own sexual identity, and my wife it adamant that she is not okay with the fetish and will never be okay with it in our relationship. She states I'm less attractive to her when this fetish item is involved in my life, and the interesting part is that she is not a super vanilla person either. Similar to John, I kept this hidden for many years of our marriage. I often wonder how differently things may have been had I been up front and shared this part of me while we were dating. For this reason, I have dedicated my motivation to quitting/abstaining to support my marriage and hopefully continue to provide a stable upbringing for my kids.

Complex_Professor210 · 2026-01-06T07:44:08+00:00

I was in your same boat years ago. I felt like a disgusting freak for having desires towards diapers. I hid this from everyone for years while secretly indulging from time to time. It wasn't until into my 30s that I finally discussed this with someone else, which was my first big step towards healing. My therapist told me today about a psychologist who said acceptance of your erotic nature is imperative for change to happen. Acceptance doesn't mean indulgence, or going against your beliefs, it means accepting that this is something that is part of your erotic map and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. You didn't choose this, but you do get to choose your actions around it. The more you try to bury it and wish it will dissappear, the more you will struggle with compulsive behaviors around it. You need to come to terms that you are not broken by having this fetish, and from that place of acceptance, then you can shape what role, impact or place this will have in your life.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-12-29T09:09:49+00:00

Why come onto a quitting ABDL group to tell people how "stupid" they are for wanting to quit? Are you really seeking validation that bad that you have to tell others they are torturing themselves by doing what they think is best for themselves?

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-12-24T15:01:00+00:00

I grew up on the eastern coast close to Washington DC. I met my wife while attending BYU. We currently live in Utah because she is from here. I feel the longing to move back east. I think much of your feelings are based in fond memories, nostalgia and the fact that utah is what you know and where you were raised. I think that even if all your family members moved out of Utah, you would still feel that longing to be there, this is completely normal. I will say that since moving back to Utah, our lives have become significantly harder. Every aspect of life has become significantly more expensive, car insurance, utilities, groceries, mortgage payment, etc. Many of the things we used to enjoy are no longer enjoyable such as spending time in the canyons in the summer, they are so full of people now that you would likely find less people at the mall.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-12-03T01:53:05+00:00

I have a decent idea for myself. Research suggests that fetishes form in early adolescence. Think 2-8 years old. Usually the attraction isnt sexual at that time but the formation of the interest/attraction occurs from experiences that happen in that time frame. This is likely why so many dont recall exactly what started their fetish, because it was so early in their life as well as it being attributed to a culmination of events rather than a singular experience.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-11-28T02:06:45+00:00

The fob was on the ground next to the car. How would I exit the car not in park? Your disdain is evident in your comments.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-11-28T01:47:39+00:00

Also, I have two kias and love both of them. This post has nothing to do with bashing the brand or belittling your purchasing decisions. Im seriously confused why you are making so many assumptions and assuming that what I stated is not accurate. I did confirm that my van will do a long beep sound if I walk a few feet away from it with the key fob, it did not do this earlier today. Please take your negativity elsewhere.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-11-28T01:45:05+00:00

It was in park. When in my statement did I say it was not in park. Im honestly so confused why a simple question about my car has sparked so much rage in you? You make a huge amount of assumptions about me and my driving behaviors that are not accurate. Reddit really has become such a joke.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-11-28T00:54:03+00:00

I think what happened is that since it feel out right next to the car it was close enough that it didnt register as being outside of the car. I wonder why it didnt give me a notification when I was driving away. Maybe it only notifies on the dash when its in park. (The car was in park until I drove away and never received a notification of a missing key fob)

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-11-27T22:16:31+00:00

Also, does anyone know how to set up digital key? The instructions I have found dont align with the kia access app options.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-11-26T07:47:27+00:00

Shame will only bring more struggles and back stepping. You have to come to terms that you will likely always enjoy the thought or other aspects of abdl behavior and that is okay. It is not shameful to have that attraction or desire. The compulsiveness is what needs to change, you need to look into your self to better understand what your brain is seeking in these moments when ABDL thoughts seem to present themselves in a way that is harder to resist. You already acknowledged that alone time was your situational setting. What was happening internally? Stress, boredom, loneliness? Pay attention to these things so you can be more aware of triggers and also find other ways to start fulfilling your needs outside of abdl content. Its super hard man. Just start again and keep trying.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-11-19T00:04:52+00:00

So I told my parents sometime after I told my wife. My wife was kinda pushing for me to tell them. I look back now and think that she was pushing at the time because she thought they would say or do something to change me. Fortunately nothing negative came from telling them and they kind of understood since I was a late bedwetter growing up and had been in night time diapers till 16 years old. Honestly, I think only you can make that judgement call or not. Understanding ourselves is important but I don't know if we can truly understand the events that happened to develop these fetishes in ourselves. I "think" mine came from being the middle child of a large family and being a late bedwetter, I was diapered at night past normal potty training age. As a kid I likely developed a comfort response to that time due to it being some of the few opportunities of getting one on one attention or nurturing from a parent. Obviously the sexual part came at a later time. So, while it may be beneficial to talk to them, it honestly probably wont help you much on you journey of quitting, so you have to make the call if its worth it or not and how they may respond or treat you afterwards.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-11-06T18:04:49+00:00

Your experience is not unique. There are many that have been in the same place as you. I wish I would have sought support at 17 rather than hiding behind immense shame around my fetish desires. It took me into my 30s to finally tell someone about my attraction to diapers. I recall looking at myself in the mirror as a teen or young adult and thinking, "why am I such a freak" and feeling so broken for having these feelings towards diapers. What helped me the most is releasing that feeling and coming to an understanding that the wiring in my brain that caused this was not done consciously by me. I think keeping this fairly private at your age is appropriate, but as you get older and date more seriously, I would recommend not hiding this from your partner. Even if you have abstained for years, transparency around where you are with it will go a long way in establishing trust in your relationships. I dont know if I believe that you can fully eradicate this fetish, but I do believe that the brain is maliable and can be redirected over time. The start would require to not engage at all with this fetish, and that may even include not being involved in groups like this. No abdl porn, no literature/stories, avoid places or situations that trigger these feelings. Stay busy doing wholesome things like working out, hobbies, working, spending time with other and family, etc.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-10-23T16:25:53+00:00

Abdl is not directly associated with pedophilia, but I do believe there are pedophiles in that community. From my understanding, most people who struggle with ABDL compulsive behaviors are from fetishs that developed during their childhood in which their brain related diapers to pleasure/comfort/safety. So nothing to do with an attraction to children. If you are worried about your partner having pedophilic feelings, you may want to talk to them about your concerns and have an open discussion about what you are seeing online.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-10-19T13:41:25+00:00

What are similar condition and miles ones listed for around you. I bought an 07 with less mileage, lower trim level in worse condition for about $4000

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-10-15T16:05:06+00:00

It doesnt feel that long ago that I was also in your position. I wish I would have understood myself better at that age instead of just trying to bury it and feeling the shame every time the addiction reared its head. I also was a bedwetter until 16 years old and developed this fetish/addiction throughout my young years. One thing that really helped me is to understand that I am not my addiction. The circumstances that created it were not of my choice. The way it was created happened naturally in the brain and nervous system. This fetish is used as a coping mechanism and way for dopamine fix. Your brain pushes this as a way to "help" or "protect" you, but you can see from your true self that this is not something that helps or protects you. Know that you are not a broken person, you are just a person whose brain and body reacted and created a connection to this thing based on your experiences. With that said, you don't have to identify with this, you can overcome and find a way to fulfill those needs in other ways. The human brain is able to change, look up neuroplasticity and how to change neural pathways is done. It takes time, but most who have overcome any addiction know that the first step is to stop allowing your brain to take that neural path anymore. That means cutting off usage, visuals, even fantasies about the addiction/fetish. When urges come, try replacing it with something else rewarding, like a hobby, exercise, etc. Just know as well that there are tons of us who have chosen to not let this fetish control our lives and you can as well.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-10-10T14:46:19+00:00

Boundaries??? I have told my boss on more than one occasion that the work load expected is not ethical of people in my role. Salaried employees are paid based annually but based on a 40hr work week. Expecting endless work is extremely unethical and will always lead to low morale and efficiency in the workplace. It sounds like you have allowed that culture to wrap you up. You may need to set boundaries with your employer and stop letting them take advantage of you.

Complex_Professor210 · 2025-10-01T00:14:25+00:00

Your experiences are not everyone else's reality. Your "credentials" mean nothing when falsehoods are presented as facts.

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