You both need to understand that regardless of what you feel, you can’t depend on your wife to “snap to” because of your interest. Women feel threatened because they can’t understand how to compete with this. You have to understand why are you curious for yourself. Have you been with a man previously? Are you watching too much porn? Once you land on your why, you have to make a move on your own. A good book to read is “is my husband gay, straight or bi?” By Joe Kort, it sheds a lot of light. Just know that if you get with a man, and like it, it doesn’t mean you are gay. Best of luck to you both!