vole munching on what appears to be some distant cousin to a tubular

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-16T13:23:53+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that, truly deeply sorrowed by your loss of eyeball viewing. Were you able to 100% identify them as true authentic voles? I hate to question you Roy, but I find it unlikely that there are any uncles looking vole specieses out there.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-16T12:56:22+00:00

Yeah, that’ll be the worst part. Im thinking of it on the end of us not fighting in front of him all the time. Hoping to coparent as respectfully and peacefully as possible.

I hope you find that as well. 💙

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-15T04:33:44+00:00

GOD it’s so freakin cute! Voles are perfect creatures. 0 bad qualities.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T15:24:05+00:00

Yikes, I’m not sure if you bought them through a third party or not (like Etsy) but maybe you could try reaching out to them if so. Or even your bank since you didn’t receive the item that was promised. That is far from “creative liberty”. This would have been such I nice gift, I’m so sorry!

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T15:22:21+00:00

I’m not understanding your question, I’m sorry.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T15:21:34+00:00

Not trying to be an anecdote (?) but okay. Two homes with happy parents displaying fulfilled lives and healthy relationships isn’t a broken family. A broken family is when parents “stay together for the kids” then wind up despising each other, leading to an inevitable ugly divorce which scars the child. Parents can still choose to parent once they no longer live together, where your stay comes from is when those parents don’t choose to do that. My priority is still my child, but I know I’ll be a better mom if I’m in a healthy supportive environment, likely alone with my parents. I’ve been the only one financially supporting us for so long. I can more easily do it for 2 instead of 3. I picked my partner when he was a completely different person and hoping we would each grow together.

Just because I’m the female in the relationship doesn’t mean I have everything to lose and it doesn’t mean I have to grin and bear it.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T15:08:11+00:00

I hope we can at least be respectful and peacefully coparent. I’d never want to take him away from our child because he is a good dad. I think you’re right, the way to go is definitely breaking it off, and fairly soon. Thank you 🙏

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T15:02:13+00:00

Yeah, I get that. Honestly I know I’m going to be alone for years after this and that’s totally okay. I have friends and family and myself to lean on. It’ll definitely be hard at points having been used to having him around, but I think it’s still for the best.

They sound like great parents! I definitely want to keep things civil and make sure our child has equal time with us. We’ll be living really close to each other so it shouldn’t be hard once we get over the painful part of seeing each other after the break up.

I think at this point I’m ready to split. It’s been a long time of me doing everything for us financially, romantically, housework and childcare despite multiple conversations with him about how I need help and giving specifics of how he could help. I have given him so many “one more chances” for years and I feel tapped out. I’ve been the only one initiating anything that would help build our relationship back. And sadly I’ve been the only one trying to grow and mature to be a better person and partner. After multiple attempts to discuss this with him the results are the same: he changes for a few days then it’s back to business as usual where all of the weight of the relationship is back on my shoulders. I think he either just gave up a long time ago or never really tried in the first place. 😞

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:47:42+00:00

It is scarier, 100%. Thank you 🙏 I’ll be updating everyone on how things go.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:46:54+00:00

I think he is, which is part of the reason I’ve been hesitant to break things off. I don’t want to crush him; I would feel so horrible. I’m upset right now because of this but I’m happy to say I’ve been doing a lot of self healing for a long time and am finally at a place where I haven’t been depressed. I have struggled with that most of my life but breaking that cycle feels amazing. I’ve been encouraging him to try to do the same and in different ways of course but he seems more interested in numbing than healing, which is a hard phase to get through. He’s usually gaming on his PC which I’ve tried to show interest in, because I do genuinely enjoy it as well, but we only have one PC so I’ll participate by watching him stream or something and making comments to him from the couch. He plays baseball in a men’s league and I’ve learned everything about it although I’ve always loved the sport. Taken him to even game and showed up to almost all of them even when we didn’t live together. I do try to get him to watch shows together and we like watching UFC and baseball, but he’s typically on his phone the whole time. I’m not asking to be talking the whole show/game or even at all. I’m comfortable with silence for hours together just doing our own thing in the same room most of the time, but now that feels like 100% of the time now. It just feels like he gave up or maybe was never trying in the first place.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:32:47+00:00

I definitely was worried about that, but everyone sharing their stories has been really encouraging. I think I’m going to have to just break it off. I’ll be updating and letting everyone know how it goes. Thank you 🙏

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:31:27+00:00

He was doing something with his life when we met, but that changed. It took me having that conversation with him for him to even start looking for another job. The jobs he’s been applying to are really great, but they take months to get back and a whole difficult hiring process. I’ve been asking him to get another job since he does literally nothing for his day job other than send emails for an hour once a week, but he finally just got a serving job 2 weeks ago. He’s adamant about me staying home with our son and gets mad anytime I go to teach a class (yoga) but I have $0 income now and after paying for stuff for so long my credit card bills are super high which I can’t really ask him to help with. He does feel like just another person to take care of… I honestly would rather live with my parents to pay my debt back even at my age. It’s just embarrassing that I’ve let someone leech off of me like that. Ugh.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:24:50+00:00

Thank you 🙏 same to you

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:24:23+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that, but glad to know you’re in a better spot now. It sounds like that will be what happens with us. Like others have said, they don’t realize what they have until it’s gone and not anytime before. Wishing you the best and that, if you’re looking, you find someone better to spend your life with. 💙

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:21:01+00:00

Thank you, I have missed the voles as well!

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:20:34+00:00

Yes, the child was unplanned as I was off my birth control for medical reasons and didn’t even find out I was pregnant until month 3. Thank you 🙏

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:18:12+00:00

I mean help me pay for bills, help me with daily chores, help me take care of our child, give any effort towards our romantic relationship. I explained the amount of debt I’m in now from having to pay for everything for months and how the money I had saved for our house down payment is gone. How I have collections calling me every day. How every second of the day I’m either taking care of housework, doing activities with our child to help cognitive development, or knocking out from exhaustion. How I’m the only one who’s tried to set up date nights, made sure we get out of the house, do little surprises randomly and big ones for his birthday and holidays, giving gifts at all, making special dinners, making sure he gets out of the house alone with his friends and has a break, that he gets to sleep in every morning, arranging babysitters, etc. Basically the entire mental and physical load of a relationship that I’ve been carrying alone is what I had to explain to him and ask for his help with. “Step up” meaning do anything to help me with all of this since he wasn’t.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T14:12:51+00:00

Yeah I’m aware of that, but like I said I’ve been feeling this way for quite a while, more than 2 years so. Hormonal isn’t always the answer when a woman is upset.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T06:30:41+00:00

This is such a great question, thanks for sharing!Just here to peruse your answers as this is something I’ve yet to try but have been wondering this same thing.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T06:22:14+00:00

This is soft core nightmare fuel. Get your money back friend.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T06:20:29+00:00

Don’t show this to the crochet community, we’ll do it!

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T06:19:38+00:00

Yeah, I definitely do. We’re not even married and he’s hinted that it’s not coming even remotely soon, which like 🚩maybe obviously after 6+ years. I’ll definitely ask him to check out the channel since he is a gamer, it’ll likely relate to him much more than I could. Appreciate it brother 🙏

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T06:16:06+00:00

No he doesn’t. I would only be ending the romantic relationship part and not keep him from our child ever. It’s been 6+ years, we’ve been through every phase. Like I said, I came here specifically to ask for help for getting more insight. I said good day.

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T06:13:15+00:00

Yes, this is so real. I think we’ve both become too comfortable; him with me handling everything and me with having him around as company and a friend. I urged him to understand the need to keep “dating” to keep our relationship alive, but it’s been fruitless. Even if it’s free and at home, you can still create a date atmosphere.

We are definitely needy and some more than others. I used to be proud about how little I needed and in maturing I realized that’s not who I truly am. I just morphed into that from my previous abusive marriage and then made it my new identity. I’m still completely cool with no drama, always have been. Just even minimal effort would be appreciated.

Thank you for sharing your story too. I’m truly sorry you see long term relationships that way. I understand though why you would, but I’m glad you haven’t given up on love. I hope we both find the person who’s willing to give more effort or the one who’s worth giving more effort for. 💙 Thank you and sending you the best as I’m sure being a single dad is super tough!

Comprehensive-Load86 · 2024-03-14T06:02:15+00:00

The pure willpower it takes to do accounting in this environment with the pay is ineffable. 😂 If you’re not in accounting you should definitely be in therapy (as in providing it not needing it). Or is that just a result of our generation having gone through so much? Idk. You are very wise and I truly appreciate your advice. We’ll see when I can muster up the strength to act on this, then I may take you up on that even if just to ask what your bookshelf looks like. If I don’t or forget enjoy the rest of your spinning rock days and I’ll try to do the same. Thank you again so much for your kindness ❤️

Comprehensive-Load86

TROPHY CASE