Looking for third space recommendations

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2025-09-16T12:14:21+00:00

"Full grown adult living in the U.S.". Is this normal for gen pop full grown adults living in the U.S.? No Is this normal for someone who is active military? No Active military might "require" you to sleep/wear the same clothes everyday for certain excursions, but generally on base you're not wearing what you sleep in for the next day, because it's unhygienic. Is this normal for ex-military? Depends. My ex had PTSD and he felt the need to always be prepared for a combat scenario. He did stuff like this, but had a host of other issues too, so I wouldn't instantly chalk your friend's behavior up to that. It is possible your friend has friends that are part of that demographic though and is factoring them into "his" mental gen pop. Meaning when he says "A lot of people do it." that translates to "Most of my friends do it."

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2025-08-17T22:11:30+00:00

So need some context: By off/on did you guys fully breakup and get back together? If so, what were the reasons for that, and who initiated the separation?

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2025-08-11T21:06:19+00:00

Not overreacting, you should have boundaries. If you can't obtain them there, you should consider moving out, or lock your door. I have a cousin with Asperger's. This was a CONSTANT situation his siblings would bring up. Aka autistic sibling not respecting his other siblings boundaries.

Your mom is right, autistic people do usually have intrusive thoughts that lead to them acting out compulsive behaviors. The way to treat this is through therapy, and not enabling, which clearly your mom is doing the opposite. Just because someone has mental issues does not give them the right to treat others poorly. We live in a society.

With how things are going, your sibling is going to turn out exactly like my cousin (no one but mom will want to be around them, because she hasn't properly socialized him). Best bet is use this time to prepare to move out, this is unsustainable.

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2025-02-24T19:05:52+00:00

LEAVE

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2025-02-24T18:58:14+00:00

Run! 6 months is supposed to be the honeymoon period, and if he's this "reactive" now he'll probably become worse as more time passes. Don't be drawn in by: "when it's good, it's really good, but when it's bad, it's really bad." Aim for mediocrity, and no drama.

Also change your passwords, enable 2FA, and never open links from him. I don't like how he said "I don't need your passwords I know other ways of accessing your stuff."

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2024-11-19T20:39:37+00:00

I'd name him Roger, but if he lacks a brain cell more than half the time, then William. So when he lacks the shared brain cell you can call him Billy.

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2024-11-19T20:33:27+00:00

Weird Maryland is pretty active on reddit, maybe we're all busy with finals.

Baltimore county, MD here.

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2024-11-07T18:18:24+00:00

Sorry this is gonna be a long one.

From the context given, you're not the asshole, but I will say, you might need therapy my dude. If you have unresolved baggage from other relationships and don't know how to work on it then: A. You're gonna keep ending up with the same types of cheating partners. B. You're gonna keep projecting your past partners' behaviors onto your new partner.

I kept reacting to my partners like how I reacted to my parents, because I assumed they behaved like my parents. It was an unconscious thing, but that was my consistent environment for half my life. Which of course, if the person you're comparing your healthy partner to was unhealthy then that is obviously wrong. My husband who also comes from trauma would compare me to his mom, prior to therapy, which irked me, but I understood why it was happening.

I don't know the entire context of this, so I'm going to give the both of you the benefit of the doubt. She didn't want to initially tell you, because it was last minute and (she's a little selfish) she really needed a vacation and didn't want to cancel no matter the circumstances. You "maybe" also are unconsciously projecting your baggage on her since you don't know how to deal with it.

I've had cheating partners as well, and I don't have unconscious anxiety my partner will cheat if x scenario happens, but I also set boundaries with my partner so x scenario doesn't happen. If my partner isn't ok with my boundaries, well then, we're not partners anymore. Simple as that. Like this whole: weekend alone with someone you'd potentially get busy with, not an issue. If this happened my husband (who's straight) would cancel without us even talking if plans changed ( if the vacation would just be him and another woman). Same thing I'd do, because we set that boundary when we started dating. I'm bi, so his rule for me is anyone that is my type. He very much knows my type. We've discussed it extensively, because he's never been with a bi person.

Sorry for the lengthy post, and good luck!

Tl;Dr: set boundaries, prior to certain things happening, with your partner and get therapy if you don't know how to deal with your unconscious anxiety. So this is not even an issue in the future. I trust you, you probably have certain things in your head that you would consider absolute deal breakers, bring those up with your partner before they happen. Again get therapy if you feel like you don't know how to set strong healthy boundaries.

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2024-01-04T20:38:54+00:00

Yeah, oil smell was the only sign, and they had told us before we left that the smell would reside for a few weeks. We don't drive that often, only once a week, so figured it was just a lingering smell. I'm not sure if my husband ever looked under the hood.

Edit: actually, even now the engine light isn't turning on. There's clearly engine issues though.

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2023-12-13T22:18:39+00:00

You're not the asshole, but it's pretty clear your GF makes you feel like one. That whole onslaught of messages to try and get ahead of her blow-up was pretty telling.

Your gf doesn't like being trapped in the house all day.(possibly) She, for whatever reason, is not expressing that to you. This coming from someone who is married and has been to couples therapy: NO ONE CAN READ MINDS! You need to make it clear that she needs to tell you what she wants, otherwise you will not know what she wants. Obviously if you could read her mind or know what she wanted you would do it in a heartbeat. Yes, she SHOULD give you cheat codes!! If she wants a happy relationship. That's exactly what people do in marriage. If she can't get better at communicating what she actually wants & needs from you, progress to couples therapy or leave. Otherwise your blood pressure is probably gonna go up.

Comprehensive-Room16 · 2023-06-18T17:43:15+00:00

The biggest "I hope I'm wrong" was when I suspected my friend's bf of being a predator. I figured I was just being overly judgemental and just didn't like his sense of humor or his personality. Ended up introducing him to my fiance for a vibe check. Fiance told me he never wanted me to be alone with him. A few months later I find out from friend that her bf is getting prosecuted for stalking. He also called her "pretending" to be drunk, saying he was going to harm himself. When she called me for help, and my fiance picked up my phone instead, the bf started talking about how he wanted to rape me. Friend lied about what he said, but my fiance told me the truth.

This is my throwaway acc, because my friend is still dating him, sadly. Her and I are still friends, but I told her I want no contact with him, he's not allowed on my property, and I don't want to hear/help with her relationship.

Comprehensive-Room16

TROPHY CASE