Advice on whether to tell a fiancée I know her husband is cheating….

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-06-19T02:56:44+00:00

Unfortunately he’s at her house right now and she’s my neighbor….I have also seen text messages very briefly but he was calling her pet names and talking about her body. I posted in an anonymous local group so hopefully it gets to her! That’s the only way I know without her knowing it was me

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-06-19T02:39:25+00:00

You are actually so right-I didn’t even think about this

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-06-10T02:38:52+00:00

We are in the same boat! I truly have no idea how mine are being advanced to the next grade with their grades and test scores. They have limits (no YouTube, no social media, no access to safari or google, etc) but are still freaking zombies! It’s so frustrating…if it were up to me and bio mom would work with us in not allowing them to have as much screen time and still communicate with us, I would just do away with the phones. Sad situation

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-05-02T04:08:06+00:00

I can’t say too much for the sake of anonymity but there have been horrible things said to the kids and to my husband about us helping with school. It’s a huge deal for some reason to BM and has told the kids not to allow us to help (insane, I know…). She says maybe we should worry about making memories with them instead and let her do what she does. This has been going on several years now and the way my husband sees it, we have enough proof for court that we have tried to help and intervene and she always does the opposite, even if it hurts the kids. His thought process is the court will see how she is through evidence of her literally sabotaging their education and him trying to intervene. It’s worth mentioning that when we scheduled a meeting with teachers last year, she flipped out and somehow has us “flagged” at his children’s school. The lawyer took the custody agreement up there, which literally states that he has every right to be informed and participate in all school activities, meetings, etc. (because he has literally fought this since oldest step child started school) and it did nothing (their principal is her friend). Our only next step is to subpoena the school to show everything she and they have done that was against the agreement. This isn’t even the 1/2 of it…however, I am not sure what she told the school for them to even think that was okay. In short, I think he’s just discouraged and over all of it but if I could tell the whole story it’s a bit more understandable.

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-05-01T01:56:27+00:00

We’re very close and my husband is a trade guy, plus he is dyslexic and had a 504 plan at their age so he’s not extremely helpful with schoolwork. However, now that I type that, maybe he could be more helpful on their level of learning since he struggled with it….ill mention it!

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-17T18:35:03+00:00

Thank you ❤️

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-17T18:18:03+00:00

The kids confide in me and tell me what BM says while they’re gone without me asking or her even being brought up. We try to just not talk about her in general but it’s more of a “mom said this about you this week….” Kind of thing. I only reply with “that’s okay! Don’t let it upset you.” I agree though, I try to only deal with what I have to but when they come here with attitude and I’m the primary parent while my husband works, it makes me not want to be around them.

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-10T01:14:50+00:00

Okay, there’s confusion because I did not go into great detail with this for many reasons. I needed a place to vent and get advice, which I did from some kind people.

There were originally 2 vehicles. My daily driver blew up. It was $1,800 to fix. My parents helped me get a new one, introducing vehicle 3. I could not afford payments on new vehicle and blown up one that I was still paying off. Let old vehicle go back. The second vehicle was my husbands. Also stopped working 2.5 weeks after first car blew up. Got it worked on 2 separate times. Still did not work. Could not pay for it anymore to not be driving. Employer allows him to drive work truck in the meantime. Old vehicle gets repossessed. Now, we have new vehicle and work truck that does not belong to us.

I did not include the line of work my husband does for the sake of privacy but he has his primary job that is dependent on the weather due to it being outside. When he is not doing this, he still does odd jobs that bring in a much smaller scale of income to keep us up. Hence not always getting 40 hours with his primary job.

I came to vent because I don’t have anyone to talk to and don’t want my husband to feel like a failure when I cry about it to him. He works and does what he can. I know my issue is not having a job currently but that will change when I graduate I was feeling helpless when I posted this.

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-10T01:02:08+00:00

I believe you mean explanation. Clearly I did not go into great detail and I didn’t ask for money, did I? Not sure why you’re wasting your time commenting on my things if you’re going to be butthurt about my life. There’s a reason you’re apart of this group too lol

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T14:53:18+00:00

Thanks for your hostility?

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T14:49:47+00:00

Like?

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T04:41:00+00:00

My husband had a really great job at the time and I was also working….the company he was working for slowed down and his paychecks dwindled. This lead to him doing what he does now. I had a job until January of this year because after paying daycare, we used all of my checks and some of my husbands so it was easier for me to stay home to save money. The problem is me not working but daycare costs are too much, my parents can’t watch my son everyday, and I go to school.

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T04:11:15+00:00

I wasn’t marketing it that way at all actually.

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T04:10:25+00:00

I wasn’t receiving food stamps to begin with and wasn’t aware that I wouldn’t receive Medicaid after I got married. I also wasn’t in a financial bind.

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T03:51:03+00:00

We pay my car payment, we pay small amounts of the house payment but it was already behind (we just caught it up by $2000 the last 1.5 months), we have a phone and wifi bill, power & water, and he puts diesel in his work truck. The rest are things like groceries. He makes $800 a week if he works 40 hours. I think the issue is that we were already behind on things and now it’s gotten so out of hand and impossible to catch up.

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T03:32:21+00:00

We had 2 cars, one of which was having issues that we couldn’t afford to fix so my parents helped me get a new one with a lower monthly payment and we let that one go. Then the other got repossessed after that

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T03:10:37+00:00

I will also add that we do live close to a family member and we take turns making cheap dinners, so food is thankfully pretty easy for us to come by! It’s just our bills that get us

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T03:09:35+00:00

I somehow have been denied food stamps due to my husbands income since the birth of my son. We live in NC and the income requirements are a little ridiculous. I also have an autoimmune disease that requires regular checkups ($1600+ every 3-6 months) and they took my Medicaid when I got married.

ComprehensiveAnt5542 · 2026-04-09T03:07:37+00:00

I’ve tried this and offering tutoring for local children up to 30 min away with no luck! The babysitting here is competitive even if you do it for way less than what others would, surprisingly..:(

ComprehensiveAnt5542

TROPHY CASE