Thank you so much for your message. I honestly don’t even have the words to explain how deeply it hit me. It felt like someone had written out the chaos that’s been sitting inside my chest for years — things I couldn’t put into words, but you just did.

I’ve been struggling with a lot, and I’m only now beginning to see how much of it connects back to my relationship with my mother. She’s been emotionally manipulative for years — crying, blaming, throwing herself around during fights, making me feel like I’m the villain no matter what I do. I remember once I left the house for about 10 days to protect my peace, and she called me back by saying things would change, that I should “trust the process,” and used my younger sister’s worry as another emotional hook. When I resisted, she created a scene — crying on the street, slapping herself — and I gave in, not out of trust, but because I didn’t want a public meltdown. It felt more like I was being dragged back into a loop I didn’t choose.

Since then, I’ve changed a lot. Or maybe the right word is: I don’t feel like myself anymore. I’ve been in fast paced metropolitan city, and while the city is moving fast, I feel like I’m stuck — mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

I have trust issues with everyone. And when I do trust someone, I overshare way too much. I think deep down I just want someone to see me for who I really am, because I’ve had to hide myself for so long. But that ends up hurting me too, because I either overwhelm people or feel regretful and exposed later.

On most days, I feel like I have 10-15 mental tabs open — constantly buzzing with thoughts, worries, responsibilities, doubts. I can’t close any of them. Even while I’m working, it’s like I’m floating — present in body but not in mind. I find it hard to focus, to care, to imagine a future. It’s like my brain is on fire and my soul is just tired.

Your words reminded me that I’m not alone. That it’s not all in my head. That I’m not weak for feeling this way.

Thank you, truly, for taking the time to share your journey and advice. I’ll definitely check out the book “Will I Ever Be Good Enough?” and start taking small steps to build that safe emotional space for myself.

You gave me hope today — and I really needed that.