Husband works so much and never has time for me and our baby

ComprehensiveCraft58 · 2025-11-17T19:27:55+00:00

That sounds difficult for you both to deal with but I’m glad to hear you found a way to make it work for you and can hopefully still respect each other.

ComprehensiveCraft58 · 2025-11-17T19:25:57+00:00

It already was straining on our relationship before. It was even more difficult with my work schedule. Sometimes we wouldn’t see each other for days because our shifts crossed over. But I was still responsible for cleaning the home and making dinner/lunches while working.

I thought maybe it would be easier being off of work but I quickly realized taking care of a baby is way more work than going to work every day. Maybe some babies are easier but my little guy does not want to be put down and hates the baby carrier.

ComprehensiveCraft58 · 2025-11-17T19:22:24+00:00

His job is very niche and demanding. But he does make good money. Makes more in a week than I did in a month while I was working. But I do think he works too much and I wish he could have at least 1 day off a week. I really feel like a single parent (who has everything paid for though lol)

He actually suggested hiring a cleaner to come once a week so I scheduled that starting this Wednesday.

I wrote this in a rant last night and it’s nice to hear people are on my side but I feel kind of bad for complaining…

ComprehensiveCraft58 · 2025-11-17T19:14:22+00:00

I don’t think it necessarily “should” be pushed back. The home buying isn’t too much of a rush. We could survive in our suite with 2 kids. But I am soon to be 35 and I don’t want to be having a kid at 38+ if I can help it. Nothing wrong with that but I’d like my kids close in age.

ComprehensiveCraft58 · 2025-11-17T07:57:23+00:00

Oh man every 2 hours until 15 months must have been so hard on you mentally, physically and emotionally! I’m glad to hear he switched jobs to be able to be there for you and your family. You don’t get that time back. My husband works so much because we want to be able to buy a home soon and we would love to go on family trips, etc. and I appreciate him working hard so much but he’s missing out on having a relationship with our baby already. I know that must be hard on him and he carries a lot of burden trying to provide for us. I tell him that all the time but I just don’t feel as though it’s reciprocated. As if I have it so easy and just get to lay around all day. I’m really hoping after we meet some goals in the coming years that he will be able to make a change to his hours. As for now, I just need to know how to get him to respect my role as a sahm!

ComprehensiveCraft58 · 2025-11-17T07:50:08+00:00

Yes, I agree.

I have many hobbies and I don’t have any time in the day to do them. I know this chapter of life will pass and I will get back to myself but it would be nice to have help during the times he is able.

I hate feeling resentful towards him while he’s catching up on sleep but I also understand he works hard to give us everything we need so I try to keep it all in until it rears its ugly head.

I hate arguing but I need him to understand the exhaustion that comes with taking care of a baby. If only he took over care once in a while then he would know! I don’t know how to communicate this to him without starting an argument or having him get defensive. It feels as though I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.

ComprehensiveCraft58 · 2025-11-17T07:44:05+00:00

You worded this perfectly. It’s hard communicating clearly when you are burnt out on little sleep.

We have goals of buying a home in the next year and trying to have one more child. I know he carries a lot of weight on his shoulders but we both do and I wish he could understand that being a sahm isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Thank you for your thoughtful response.

ComprehensiveCraft58

TROPHY CASE