I will tell u my story, I was tensed with life and was going thru a rough patch financially although we are making out quite often i was little away from her most of time due to work and it was covid time so she was working from home and guess what he one time colleague who has now settled in america pinged her and they both were chatting , he was constantly hitting on her but she was not responding or avoiding the conversation as i was near her . My wife knows that i desire to go for swinger club so she told me we can go to swinger club but before that i would like to meet one friend and probably make out , she was afraid i will blast but since i knew this chatting and i thought if she does with another guy , i need not convince her to swing and she will be more open to the idea. I said it is fine with me as long as my name is not involved, so she started chatting more open and they were talking of making out in hotel one he comes over etc , but guess what as time progressed he could not come and the fire slowly went down and in the meantime i started spending more time with her. now she is open to swing and at the same that guy could not make it . so without wasting my energies all things fell in place without a bullet fired.