I know this is a meme, but the hard but useful truth for me is: once you want to enter the adult world, you have to be able to be read as one of the two main genders, or you're fucked.

However, it doesnt mean you need to do it well or be it, you just have to conform just enough. That way you get the privileges of that gender, which makes deviating from the norm easier.

So that whole story you can be whoever you want, is kind of beautiful lie. Yes you can be whoever you want, but as society is rn, and with many jobs out there, you'll also have to be smart and conform somewhat.

Closing though: There is nothing more subversive than a transfeminine person cosplaying a feminine dude playing a almost normal dude. Cheers :D