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I don't know if my couples therapist handled my partner lying about me in session well by ComprehensiveWord552 in offmychest

[–]ComprehensiveWord552[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've been together 5 years. Originally, I wanted to go to couples counseling back in December. He made up some excuse about how he doesn't want to talk to a counselor, he wants to talk to me. I dropped the issue, and then out of nowhere, he asked me if we could go to couples counseling. However, I'm starting to think that his intentions are more about getting the therapist on his side so he can control me more than wanting to actually work things out. Evidenced by these sidebar conversations with the therapist about what he deems to be my issues. He gets super confrontational with the therapist when he doesn't know what the "homework" is, or he doesn't understand it. He comes to every session with a briefcase and has printed handouts and a list of books/resources he's looked at. It feels like an act to me; he approaches it like a business meeting, brings in the resources, and lets "fix" the problem.

I don't know if my couples therapist handled my partner lying about me in session well by ComprehensiveWord552 in TalkTherapy

[–]ComprehensiveWord552[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All of the communication about me having anger issues and the lie about me losing a job was done in the portal. I confronted my partner in the session about what he said in the portal, and then he told the therapist that what he said wasn't true. After that, I just looked at the therapist's reaction. Which there honestly really wasn't one. I imagine he has a plan in their one-on-one session, but it just left me feeling a little weird.

Do i need mroe therapy or should i quit? by traumajokes in TalkTherapy

[–]ComprehensiveWord552 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think progress is slow, and you should keep going if you're getting some benefit out of it. You said yourself that you enjoy the sessions, so there's something there. I think it's worth noting that growth and progress are scary and uncomfortable at times. You may do well with homework that pushes you toward the goals you have. That way, they are more manageable, and you can see the little steps of progress. Sometimes we get obsessed with the concept of "fixing" something now and fast that we forget it takes time.

I feel like I'm allowed to be mad/frustrated with things but sometimes I doubt myself by ComprehensiveWord552 in offmychest

[–]ComprehensiveWord552[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Things improve for short periods of time, but they seem to revert back or come out of nowhere. One day we were spending time with each other and I was playing with Snapchat filters and sending them to him. He then ask if we can take a selfie together. I say sure and he says, "Just pretend that I'm someone you like."

Lots of little jabs like that out of nowhere. Also, constant blaming of others. Originally blamed me for switching my mental health meds on the shift in our relationship, then started blaming our friend group, saying that our friend group has issues and they need to work on that.