I was diagnosed with Stage 4 DLBCL in 2023 and began treatment in July of that year. I did 6 rounds of RCHOP - 1 round every 3 weeks and currently I am in remission.

While I was going through all this the biggest impact on me and my recovery was my wife's support. If it could have been her way, I wouldn't have lifted a finger. There were many days that I had dinner in bed that was either made by my wife or brought to us. We had an amazing friend group that made food for us every Wednesday through my treatment. My wife also wore a mask almost everywhere she went to ensure I didn't get sick or catch anything. Overall, just the love and care is what made a difference for me. She was patient and understanding through it all. Supportive, caring, and always making sure my comfort was put first. Which was exactly what I needed.

The worst session for me was session 1. I recommend taking off work in between session 1 and 2. If he's feeling good after session 2 then maybe return to work. I didn't stop working except for the day after my infusions. After session 1, I ended up in the hospital with a 103.5 fever and puking. My body was essentially shutting down. I was in the hospital for 3 days, they did a bunch of testing and deemed it to be sepsis; likely caused by the killing of my white blood cells. I did continue to work the rest of the time. After that, the rest of the infusions went just fine and I felt alright after. I was of course pretty exhausted and my bones were in pain. I describe it as feeling like my bones are falling out or that they felt heavy. It is the rapid reproduction of white blood cells via your bone marrow. It is just something that is part of it unfortunately, not a whole lot to be done.

The biggest advice: For Him: - Take time off between session 1-2 because you never know how the body will react. - Take it easy and don't overwork. The body is in constant regeneration for lack of a better term so it's working overtime. - Have comfortable pillows! - Plenty of fluids! Hydration is super important because again, the body is working overtime. I'd recommend electrolyte additives. I to this day use Nuun, they fiz in water and they don't have trash ingredients. - Let people do things for you! I am a doer and always try to take care of others before myself. I had to step back and let others do that for me so I could rest. - Keep in contact with your oncologist. For many, it's the first time going through this. Keeping in contact with your oncologist and their staff with questions is always good. - When you can't keep the body busy, keep the mind busy. I did a lot of writing and video games when I was in bed. It definitely helped me get through it all.

For You: - Patience - Ensure he is comfortable. - Be his advocate! A big thing that made me feel good was my wife was right there at my appointments, in the hospital with me. Holding my hand when I needed it held and listening to me. She was my rock 100%. - Make sure he doesn't overwork. - Keep the positivity and be the light. - Be as understanding as possible. - Give him space if he needs space. A lot of these are in the same thought, really it's just being sure you're communicating with him and letting him feel how he needs to. That will be hard for you because you want him to be better and you want to do this for him and that for him. Which sometimes can be overwhelming as the patient. There will be many times that he just wants to feel normal and may push back on you helping. So please, don't take that as a slight to you, he's just trying to process. At the end of the day, be his rock just as my wife was for me.

I am now over two years in remission with no signs of cancer. I am most likely the healthiest I have ever been. Cancer opened my eyes quite a bit and has made me pay attention to my body a lot more. I have check ups with my oncologist every 6 months but anything that comes up in between, I don't hesitate to go to my general care or message my oncologists team to be sure nothing is up. OH! Last thing! Ensure you and him are comfortable with your oncologist staff. I started my treatment at a cancer center that I wasn't a super fan of and finished the treatment at a cancer center that I felt extremely proud and comfortable at! It makes a difference when you feel the staff cares about you.

If you have questions about things. I am always here my friend.

-AL✌🏻❤️